having boyfriend = breaking parents trust, how?

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heart1

@heart1

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Posted: 13 years ago

many, in fact most south Asians families say that if their girl has a bf they broke their mothers trust or fathers trust, but what does trust have to do with it?? I never understand this, does anyone?

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brainychild92

@brainychild92

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

well, it would be breaking my mom's trust because as a child she's told me her expectations.. not necessarily having a boyfriend, but hiding it and not introducing first... but yeah if parents don't say anything then they can't say that.. i guess pinky expects her kids to be at least in college before having a boyfriend, like she was..

but yea the parents who don't specify and only expect need to chill!!! it was your fault !!lol they feel that if we don't speak of it at home, it will never happen.. and then conditions of worth! don't even get me started on that!

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Nav_Barun

@Nav_Barun

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

it's indian culture i dont know if your indian or not but in our culture girls shouldn't have a boyfriend

parents chose the boy they think is suitable for their daughter but they dont force her they ask her if she agrees

i know it sounds silly but thats our culture i live in Canada but still we have to follow

if you are talking about parents trust i think the mean that parents send their daughter to study and not fall in love but this is not something we can stop but still for indian parents if a daughter have a boyfriend its a shame for them

hope you understand but i agree with you this shouldn't be like this!

Edited by LoveBarunAshish - 13 years ago

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Nav_Barun

@Nav_Barun

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

sorry posted by mistake

Edited by LoveBarunAshish - 13 years ago

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rainku

@rainku

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

How is having a bf bringing shame to ur family

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heart1

@heart1

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Posted: 13 years ago

im indian too

yes i can understand but this comes now as a discussion on arranged marriage versus love marriage

i think its not bad to have a love marriage, we should be open and allowed to chose our life partners even if that means not meeting them through our parents

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yomamma

@yomamma

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Posted: 13 years ago

It's not about love marriage or arranged marriage, it's about the right age to do those things. Raavi is barely out of 10th grade and all these things could affect her studies. It is very easy to get distracted at that age and lose focus. At that tender age, with no experience, kids can ruin their life forever. I have seen some of my friends get into ishq vishq chakkars and restrain their lives after that. People who did not fall into those things did much better. College may be a better age since you have more focus on what you want to do.

Now someone would argue that pyaar kiya nahi jaata but ho jaata hai...that's probably true when you are past the infatuation age and Raavi is still in the infatuation age where even the presence of a member from the opposite sex next to you means a LOT.

Trust me, I am old enough to say all this from experience. I find this track very interesting since I have 2 daughters and will face this situation in a few years.

And yes, to answer the question if having boyfriend = breaking parents trust, that's not true but trust me all parents feel that way. It's a sign of their helplessness!

Edited by yomamma - 13 years ago

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642940

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

What they are showing in the serial happens a lot within Asian families. And I'm not just referring to Indians - I mean Desi families in general :)

A boy has a girlfriend, no issue is made. A girl has a boyfriend, there is a great deal of hoopla over it and she has brought shame upon the family and broken the trust of the parents. I'm not saying that all families hold this line of thought, but I've seen it happen a lot and is quite common.

I don't agree with this but sadly there are double standards. Girls and boys are still seen differently. But I like this current track in Parvarish. It is a reflection of something that happens within Asian society mostly.

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Sridhar

@sri0365

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

I don't think its an issue of having a BF or a GF. Its an issue of having a dsitraction early in your life. Thats my opinion, of course.

Once you are qualified, and get a firm footing in life, then this becomes less of an issue.

So the parents are always fearful of two things: 1. Prematurely getting into a relationship which can be a big distraction and 2. if the kid has the maturity to choose the right guy/gal.

My 2 cents worth :).

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silvermoonlight

@silvermoonlight

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

Basically Indian parents are afraid of their daughters having sex before marriage and getting prego which essentially would ruin their izaat, their existence and the world around them

Lets face it..hormones are most unstable in the teen years

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having boyfriend = breaking parents trust, how?

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