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FF: Sacrifice For Immortality (Completed) - Page 27

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Nush_Rat thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Well, I guess it's better that I wait for a few days before doing your final naamkaran... πŸ€ͺ πŸ€ͺ πŸ€ͺ


🀣 πŸ€£ πŸ€£


No problem... You stick with your version and I'll stick with mine. πŸ˜‰

Because ultimately, hai to Kumbhakaran ki behen hi na? Chahe chhoti ho ya badi... πŸ˜†


Sahi pakde hain! πŸ˜Ž


I had typed an entire reply regarding that post... But suddenly the connection got lost and the entire thing got erased.

And right now, I am not in a mood to type everything again... So, I'll post it tomorrow.


Oops! Sorry dear! Waise, once I write a comment, if it's too long, I copy the entire comment and then press the button so that even if it gets lost, I can paste the comment again without any hustle. You may try this in future. πŸ˜Š

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Sahi pakde hain! πŸ˜Ž

I know that... πŸ˜Ž


Oops! Sorry dear! Waise, once I write a comment, if it's too long, I copy the entire comment and then press the button so that even if it gets lost, I can paste the comment again without any hustle. You may try this in future. πŸ˜Š

I also do this each time I type some long reply. It's just that I forgot to do it this time... 

Madhura.. thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Nikki, interesting notes! This has been your best writing so far, detailing and execution wasπŸ‘πŸ€—


Wow, interesting parts, Antakasur ki team, and Rudra and his mom just illusions made by Bhairavnath, great job! Even his defeat with a stick was interesting and the way Nishant decoded it. What I loved is, trio of Nishant, Ansh, Saavi fought, took time and understood, something odd.


The eclipse was well explained with position of Venus, and Antakasur doing the yagna and inciting the 5elements, was brilliant, the detailing which went and fabulous!Team working fast, and even the weapon and description of axe, you are always on point.


Saavi trying to wake Pia, and finally she wakes in the nick of time, was great! Ansh keeping a watch and fighting with Antakasur was again fab, specially after the death glare, and Antakasur having so much power, and Ansh being smart, and trio executing their plan and saving Pia and finally the moment is gone, for Antakasur to become immortal.


Waiting for the Finale Chapter now, that fight too will be awesome! Loved the crispness, this chapter had and a LOT happened, ofc the 1st part of fight. Great job!!

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Nikki, interesting notes! This has been your best writing so far, detailing and execution wasπŸ‘πŸ€—

Thank you so much... I'm glad you liked it. πŸ˜Š πŸ€—

Wow, interesting parts, Antakasur ki team, and Rudra and his mom just illusions made by Bhairavnath, great job! Even his defeat with a stick was interesting and the way Nishant decoded it. What I loved is, trio of Nishant, Ansh, Saavi fought, took time and understood, something odd.

Well, everytime we either see someone being hypnotized by any of those Kaali Shaktis to help them or they themselves are the Kaali Shaktis. So, I thought that why should I not make them illusions?? 

And about Nishant, Ansh and Saavi taking time to understand... Well, they are smart but they are not the 'Param Gyaani' or know-it-all persons, right? Isiliye, I showed this...


The eclipse was well explained with position of Venus, and Antakasur doing the yagna and inciting the 5elements, was brilliant, the detailing which went and fabulous!Team working fast, and even the weapon and description of axe, you are always on point.

Thanks... Looks like I did a decent job in explaining the details. You guys are liking it... Great!! πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜•


Saavi trying to wake Pia, and finally she wakes in the nick of time, was great! Ansh keeping a watch and fighting with Antakasur was again fab, specially after the death glare, and Antakasur having so much power, and Ansh being smart, and trio executing their plan and saving Pia and finally the moment is gone, for Antakasur to become immortal.

Thanks again... I always like smart characters. Show main to they used to be stupid several times. So, I thought ki kam se kam yahan to smart bana dein inhe... πŸ˜†


Waiting for the Finale Chapter now, that fight too will be awesome! Loved the crispness, this chapter had and a LOT happened, ofc the 1st part of fight. Great job!!

Ummm... You guys are expecting a lot. I hope I'm able to meet your expectations with the next chapter. 

Madhura.. thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: Nikki_srk

Nikki, interesting notes! This has been your best writing so far, detailing and execution wasπŸ‘πŸ€—

Thank you so much... I'm glad you liked it. πŸ˜Š πŸ€—

Wow, interesting parts, Antakasur ki team, and Rudra and his mom just illusions made by Bhairavnath, great job! Even his defeat with a stick was interesting and the way Nishant decoded it. What I loved is, trio of Nishant, Ansh, Saavi fought, took time and understood, something odd.

Well, everytime we either see someone being hypnotized by any of those Kaali Shaktis to help them or they themselves are the Kaali Shaktis. So, I thought that why should I not make them illusions?? 

And about Nishant, Ansh and Saavi taking time to understand... Well, they are smart but they are not the 'Param Gyaani' or know-it-all persons, right? Isiliye, I showed this...


The eclipse was well explained with position of Venus, and Antakasur doing the yagna and inciting the 5elements, was brilliant, the detailing which went and fabulous!Team working fast, and even the weapon and description of axe, you are always on point.

Thanks... Looks like I did a decent job in explaining the details. You guys are liking it... Great!! πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜•


Saavi trying to wake Pia, and finally she wakes in the nick of time, was great! Ansh keeping a watch and fighting with Antakasur was again fab, specially after the death glare, and Antakasur having so much power, and Ansh being smart, and trio executing their plan and saving Pia and finally the moment is gone, for Antakasur to become immortal.

Thanks again... I always like smart characters. Show main to they used to be stupid several times. So, I thought ki kam se kam yahan to smart bana dein inhe... πŸ˜†


Waiting for the Finale Chapter now, that fight too will be awesome! Loved the crispness, this chapter had and a LOT happened, ofc the 1st part of fight. Great job!!

Ummm... You guys are expecting a lot. I hope I'm able to meet your expectations with the next chapter. 


1.You are welcome!

2. Definitely, loved it. About the trio, totally agree and was glad you showed them human, both teams having their flaws. Aaj kal toh it's so rare.

3. Super awesome job

4. Yes, we have discussed it, and great

5. Well we have faith in you

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: Madhura..


1.You are welcome!

2. Definitely, loved it. About the trio, totally agree and was glad you showed them human, both teams having their flaws. Aaj kal toh it's so rare.

3. Super awesome job

4. Yes, we have discussed it, and great

5. Well we have faith in you

1. πŸ€—

2. Yup... I love putting human touches. After all, even if Ansh is a DV, they are still humans only na? They have their own flaws... After all, no one can be perfect. Aaj kal it's really rare...

3. Thanks again... πŸ˜Š

4. Yup... We have already discussed it many times.

5. I know you guys have faith in me and I'm glad that you do... And I'll try my best to meet upto your expectations. πŸ€—

Nush_Rat thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

It's been ages dear! Ab to next chapter update kar do! πŸ˜›

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Chapter: 13

The End of Antakasur


          "Nahii... Ye nahi ho sakta..."


          Antakasur threw down the axe in anger and frustration... He had failed!! He was waiting for this particular moment for the past three thousand years and now he failed in the biggest mission of his life!!


Ant: Main haar nahi sakta. Teen hazar saalon se mujhe is din ka intezaar tha... (Raising his voice a notch higher in anger) Main nakaam kaise ho gaya?!

Ansh: Maine kaha tha na... Hum tumhe kabhi apne maqsad main kaamyab nahi hone denge.


          Antakasur glared at him in anger.


Ant: Kaal Shukra Grahan par Daivik ko maar nahi saka to kya... Marna to ise hoga hi... Har haal main...


          Saying this, he bent down to pick up that axe which he had thrown on the ground in his rage.

          But, something happened...

          As soon as his fingers inched closer to the axe, an electric bolt struck his hand which seemed to be coming out from that axe. Antakasur was thrown back due to the impact of that electric shock.

          While trying to get up, he suddenly felt a lack of energy... The electric bolt from that axe had absorbed some of his power and energy and made him slightly weak... He looked at the axe once again and understood the reason. He had only seen the Rakshas Mantra engraved on its handle. But this time, he saw another inscription saying that if anyone tried to pick that axe after the end of the Kaal Shukra Grahan, it would punish that person by absorbing some of his powers.

          He banged his fist on the ground in frustration... Nothing was happening according to his plan. First, he could not sacrifice the Daivik and now, he had lost some of his powers too... It was as if the entire universe was conspiring against him to not let him succeed in his mission.

          As they all stared, the axe rose in the air, remained suspended for a few moments and finally, disappeared into the same cavity in the ground from where it had appeared. The hole in the ground was also filled on its own.

          Above their heads, the planet Venus was slowly moving out of the central position thus marking an end to the Kaal Shukra Grahan. The essence of each of the five elements returned back to their respective element from which they had come. The star that was formed by those five crystals also slowly disappeared. The crystals were back in Antakasur's hand and soon disappeared in thin air.

          Everything was back to normal.

* * * * * * * * *

          On the other hand, Nishant too was looking at the sky. He saw Venus moving out of the center line marking an end to the Kaal Shukra Grahan and heaved a sigh of relief.

          Now, he had to find clues related to the weapon's location as soon as possible. He did not have any time to lose...


Ni: Wo hathiyar yahin kahin hona chahiye... Par kahan?? Koi to clue hoga us hathiyar tak pahunchne ka... 


          He looked around himself trying to find any mark, any clue which could lead him to the weapon. 

* * * * * * * * *

          Back there, Ansh told Pia and Saavi to join Nishant and help him to find that weapon.


Ansh: Pia...Saavi... Tum dono jao aur papa ki help karo. Main tab tak ise yahan rok kar rakhne ki koshish karta hoon...

Pia: Lekin Ansh... Tum yahan akele? Tum akele kaise manage karoge?

Ansh: Main poori koshish karunga... Waise bhi, papa ke liye akele us hathiyar ko dhoondhna thoda mushkil hoga. Teen log mil kar dhoondhenge to astra jaldi mil jayega. Aur phir tumhare alawa us hathiyar ko koi aur utha bhi to nahi sakta. Tum dono jao. Main yahan manage kar loonga.

Pia (still not fully convinced): Theek hai...


          Although Pia was not ready to leave Ansh there alone, she knew they had no other option because without that weapon, they could not do anything. That weapon was their only means to success... Finding that weapon was the most important thing.

          Ansh moved and stood in front of Pia and Saavi thus blocking Antakasur who was advancing towards them. On the other hand, Saavi and Pia rushed to the place where Nishant was.

* * * * * * * * *

          Nishant was still walking around, trying to find the weapon or anything related to it when he realised that he had reached the end of that hill.

          He looked down. In front of him lay a vast stretch of flat ground covering a large area. In the centre, he could make out a small plateau. He could see some markings at a distance but those markings weren't clearly visible from that hill. He looked around and saw Saavi and Pia approaching him.

          He beckoned them to join him there.


Ni: Saavi... Tumhare is bag main binoculars rakhe the na tumne?

Sa: Haan... Ye lijiye...


          She handed over the binoculars to him. 

          Nishant put the binoculars to his eyes and stared at that plateau. He could just make out several tridents placed in concentric circles, each circle slightly higher than the previous one.**


Ni: Ho na ho, wo Panch Tatva Astra unhi main se ek hai... 


          Saavi who was looking around for a way to go down to that plateau suddenly pointed to the left and said...


Sa: Dad... Wo dekhiye... Us taraf se ye zameen us structure ke kaafi paas hai. Wahan se hum ise aur achhe tareeke se dekh sakte hain...


          Meanwhile, Pia saw a pathway leading down the hill...


Pia (pointing towards the path): Aur wahin se neeche jaane ka raasta bhi hai... 


          The three of them walked along the edge towards the direction in which Saavi had pointed. Finally, they reached the place from where the raised plateau in the middle was closer than before. They could see a narrow path leading down the hill.

          Nishant again put the binoculars to his eyes...

          The sight before him was clear now. He realised that he was mistaken in thinking that those tridents were placed in concentric circles. They were actually placed in eight elevated platforms arranged like the petals of a lotus. One hundred and eight tridents were placed in groups in the petals. And at the centre of those petals rested a single trident which did not look any different from the rest.**

          He passed the binoculars to the other two and they also saw what he had seen.


Pia: Baba... Kya apko lagta hai ki hum jis hathiyar ko dhoondh rahe hain, wo inme se hi hai?

Ni: Lag to raha hai... Par us kitaab main likha tha ki us astra tak pahunchna itna aasan nahi hai.

Pia: Kaun si kitaab baba?

Ni: Panditji ke paas ek kitaab hai... Usme is Panch Tatva Astra ke baare main likha hua hai. Maine usi main padha tha ki us astra tak pahunchna itna aasan nahi hai.

Sa: To dad, aapko kya lagta hai?

Ni: Kuch kaha nahi jaa sakta Saavi... Hume neeche jakar dekhna hoga. Shayad hume kuch aur pata chal jaye...


          Saavi suddenly remembered something...


Sa: Dad... Apne us book ke kuch pages ki picture click ki thi na? Shayad usme kuch diya ho?


           Nishant took out his cellphone and checked the images that he clicked. 

          While going through the book, e had found several pages marked with a special symbol about which even Panditji did not have any idea. He thought that those pages may be important so he clicked the pictures of those pages as the book itself was too heavy to be carried and he did not want to damage it by tearing the pages.

           He opened the first image. On it was written a verse in Sanskrit. He read it and then explained it's meaning...


Ni: Iske according, ye jo trishul hain, ye sirf tabhi dikhayi dete hain jab Daivik is sthaan par hoti hai.

Sa: Par aisa kyon Dad? 

Ni: Ye astra us Daivik ki asthiyon se bana hai... Isiliye, ye sirf ek Daivik ke aas-paas hone par hi prakat hota hai.


          He studied the second image. On it was written a line in Sanskrit.


          "Om Mani Padme Hum."**


Sa: Iska kya matlab hai Dad?

Ni: Iska matlab hai ki "Mani Kamal ke phool ke andar hai".

Sa: Mani? Kamal ka phool? Ye sab kya hai Dad?

Ni: Ye to meri samajh main bhi nahi aa raha hai Saavi... 


          Suddenly, Pia realised something...


Pia: Baba, kahi aisa to nahi ki Mani ka connection us astra se hai? Ho sakta hai ki wo astra inhi main se koi ek ho?

Ni: Haan... Ye ho sakta hai.

Sa: To theek hai Dad. In sab ko check karte hain... Shayad hume wo astra mil jaye?

Ni: Check to karna padega. Par...


          Nishant broke off into a trail of thoughts. He opened another picture in his cellphone and studied that carefully. Realising something, he turned around towards Pia...


Ni: Gudiya... Tumhe ek kaam karna hoga. Dhyaan lagakar apni shaktiyon ko jagrit karna hoga. Divya ne tumhe kabhi na kabhi ye sikhaya hoga, right?

Pia: Haan... Maa ne mujhe kaafi saalon pehle ek baar sikhaya to tha. Lekin mere dhyaan lagane aur apni shaktiyon ko kendrit karne se kya hoga?

Ni: Ye saare trishul aise hi khule main to rakhe nahi honge... Inki suraksha ka koi intezaam to kiya hi gaya hoga. Agar inke aas paas koi protective shield hui to wo hume dikh jayegi.


          Pia nodded her head. She understood what Nishant meant by meditating and concentrating on her powers. She had to activate the seven energy nodes, the Sapta Chakra as they are traditionally called, one by one. Her mother had taught this to her many years ago when she was a little girl but she never got to practice it. She herself did not know whether she would be able to activate all the seven chakras or not. But she had to try...

          She sat down in the lotus position keeping her back straight. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her powers. She could feel an energy surging through her body. Soon, the first chakra got activated.

* * * * * * * * *

           On the other hand, Ansh was busy fighting with Antakasur. He could sense that something was wrong with him but he could not understand what was it. Antakasur had become slightly weak due to that electric shock which he received from the axe. Still, he did not show any outward signs of weakness.

          He pulled out a sword and attacked Ansh with it who was quick enough to dodge the weapon. He grabbed Antakasur's hand which was holding that sword and twisted his wrist with slight difficulty. He then pressed Antakasur's wrist with his thumb which made him lose his grip on the sword for a fraction of a second causing it to fall on the ground with a loud clatter. 

          He pushed Antakasur who fell on the ground. Without losing any time, Ansh kicked that sword away into the hole where Antakasur had lit that fire. Now, both were fighting with bare hands.

          He grabbed Antakasur by his waist in an attempt to push him down on the ground. Antakasur began hitting him on the stomach with his knee. Ansh blocked his knee with one hand, slightly pushed him back and twirling on his heel, hit Antakasur's face with his elbow causing him to reel back for a few moments. 

          Antakasur put his hand to his nose... It was bleeding. He stared at Ansh. The guy in front of him was really powerful. Never before had he faced such a tough opponent...someone who was a match for him.


Ant (in his mind): Itne saalo baad koi meri takkar ka mila hai... Ab ladne main maza aayega...

* * * * * * * * *

          Back there, Pia was sitting in meditation. And the chakras were getting activated one by one.

          As soon as the seventh and the last chakra got activated, the Daivik mark on her shoulder started glowing. Soon, the intensity of the glow increased and it changed into a bright light. A light so bright that it caused Nishant and Saavi to shut their eyes tightly.

          When the light disappeared, they could see that the tridents were joined together by beams of light. 


Ni: Wo dekho... Suraksha kavach ab dikhne lag gaya hai.


          Pia got up from her place and joined Nishant and Saavi. The trio was staring at the vision in front of them...A hundred and eight tridents connected by light beams which looked more or less like an electric fencing protecting that one trident which was placed at the centre.

          They stepped forwards to have a closer look at those tridents, being careful not to touch them. He was unable to find any difference between them. All of them were exactly the same.

          He opened the second last picture in his phone. It was yet another verse in Sanskrit. 


Sa: Dad... Ye kya likha hai?

Ni: Sanskrit... Ye lines bhi Sanskrit main hain. Aur unka matlab ha: Panch Tatva Astra ki raksha swayam ek sau aath deviyan mil kar kar rahi hain.

Pia: Panch Tatva Astra ki raksha ek sau aath deviyan kar rahi hain... (Her mind was working rapidly) Kahin iska ishara in ek sau aath trishulon ki taraf to nahi hai?

Ni: Ho sakta hai... Ek sau aath trishul aur ek sau aath shaktipeeth. (Suddenly realising something) Haan! Yahi hai...

Pia: To iska matlab wo trishul jo in sabke beech main aur sabse upar hai wo Panch Tatva Astra hai?

Ni: Ho sakta hai. Aur phir is logic se wo sanskrit verse bhi ekdum fit baithta hai... Mani Kamal ke phool ke andar hai... Yani ki wo astra in trishulon se bane kamal ke phool ke beech main hai.

Pia: To phir hum us astra tak pahunchenge kaise?

Ni: Hum nahi tum... Sirf tum us astra ko utha sakti ho.


          Pia nodded and stepped forward.

          Holding her breath and hoping that she doesn't get zapped to death by those light beams, she stepped in.

           Nothing happened... She released her breath that she had been holding and slowly started making her way towards the centre, careful not to touch or disturb any of those tridents.

          Finally, manoeuvring through the tridents, she reached the centre of the formation... She grasped the astra with both hands and pulled it. Nothing happened... She tried again...and again...and again. But nothing happened.

          At last desperately, she invoked Devi Maa's help...


          "JAI HO MAIYA KI!!"


          And pulled the astra with all her might.

          The Earth shook... They heard a deafening roar of thunder and a bright light emerged from the trident causing them to shut their eyes again. When they opened their eyes, they saw that Pia was standing on the flat ground with the astra in her hand while the entire plateau along with the remaining 108 tridents had disappeared.

          Breathing a small prayer of thanks, the trio rushed to the spot where Ansh was busy fighting with Antakasur.

* * * * * * * * *

          Back there, Antakasur and Ansh were fighting tooth and nail. They both stopped abruptly when they felt the Earth beneath them shaking. They heard the roar of thunder and turned their heads to look in the direction from which the noise came.

          Antakasur's face turned a shade paler  on realising what had happened... Pia had taken out the Panch Tatva Astra.

          He saw Ansh's lips curling into a victorious smile... He looked in the direction where Ansh was looking. He saw Pia rushing towards them with the Panch Tatva Astra in her hands followed by Nishant and Saavi.

          Seeing Ansh distracted, Antakasur pushed him causing Ansh to lose his balance and fall on the ground while he himself rushed forwards to attack Pia and snatch the astra from her.

          Pia was prepared... As soon as Antakasur attacked her, she bent and twirled around on her heel, thus escaping from his attack.


          "Jai Ho Maiya Ki!!"


          A blast of air from behind caused Antakasur to fall on the ground. At the same time, Pia threw that astra towards Ansh...


          "Anshhhh!!! Pakdo..."


          Before Antakasur could do anything, Ansh had grabbed that weapon.

          Antakasur turned around in anger. Ansh was standing right behind him. He lunged forward to grab Ansh's neck but... Ansh bent down, avoiding his hand and stabbed Antakasur in his stomach with the astra.

          Antakasur let out a loud cry of pain... He felt as if his entire body was on fire. Ansh lifted him off the ground with the help of the astra. His body started dissipating bit by bit and soon, disappeared completely...

          Antakasur was dead... 

          Suddenly, the astra in Ansh's hand started emanating a golden light. Soon, it dissipated into millions of tiny golden particles which shot up in the sky and disappeared.

          Ansh rushed towards Pia and hugged her tightly. He felt a sudden wave of relief wash through him. Finally, Pia was safe and sound.

          They turned around towards Nishant and Saavi. Nishant hugged his daughter tightly, his eyes brimming with tears of happiness. Saavi too hugged her sister and father tightly.

          Finally, everything was fine...

          The sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the sky... The birds chirped as they flew towards their nests as if signalling them that it is the time to finally go home.


Ni: Finally ab sab kuch theek ho chuka hai... Ab hume bhi ghar chalna chahiye.


          And they got into the car and started their journey back home...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**This is the idea that I got from the book: 

Keepers of the Kaalchakra by Ashwin Sanghi.


PS: I am not satisfied with the ending lines... If anyone of you can suggest something else, please do so. I'll edit the chapter and change them...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago


DO NOT COPY THIS POST AS THIS IS EXCLUSIVE TO INDIA FORUMS


magicworld thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Very interesting story , really liked itπŸ‘

Edited by magicalM - 3 years ago
Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by: magicalM

Very interesting story , really liked itπŸ‘

Thank you so much... It means a lot.

I am glad you liked it... πŸ€—