IshRa FF Strangers Chapter 22-27 Page 94-95 *Completed* (3/3/15) - Page 49

Chapter 18

His warm breath fanned her face and his fresh, clean scent enveloped her senses. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest and was afraid, standing so close, he would be able to hear it too. "Raman.." her voice came out in a husky whisper and she immediately corrected herself. "I mean.. Mr.. Mr. Bhalla.." she swallowed nervously. Raman's eyes roamed over her face with an intensity that disconcerted Ishita. "Mr. Bhalla.. What.. What are you doing?" she asked stammering nervously as she struggled to free her hands from Raman's hold. "Why did you leave the game midway Ishita? I mean, Ms. Iyer?" he asked softly. Ishita did not reply and looked away. "It was a rather simple question, don't you think?" he continued, scanning her face, getting closer to her, nuzzling the column of her neck. Ishita closed her eyes as she felt her limbs weakening. "Have you ever been kissed Ms. Iyer?" he continued when she remained silent. His lips were a fraction of an inch away from hers and all Ishita could do was hold her breath and wait. "You can't say yes, can you? That would mean the end of this charade you've been putting up of not knowing me. And you can't say no either, can you? Because you and I both know that would be a lie," he whispered into her ear huskily.

She was cornered. Literally. Seeing no option, especially when his proximity was playing havoc on her senses, she blurted out, "You are breaking your promise." Raman pulled back just a little to look into her eyes as he replied, "I never break my promises Ms. Iyer. Or should I call you Mrs. Bhalla.. To jog your memory a little? You seem to remember some and not remember some. I promised you that I wouldn't try to find you after we left Ranikhet. And I didn't. Right here, right now, it seems our fate has brought us here, together again. I had no role in it whatsoever." "I thought you didn't believe in fate or destiny or God?" Ishita asked him. "I didn't," Raman paused as he answered, "but then I met you, Ms. Ishita Vishwanathan Iyer a.k.a Mrs. Ishita Raman Kumar Bhalla."

Ishita drew in a sharp breath. No. No. No, her mind screamed and she pushed him away with all her might. Before she could run away from him, Raman yanked her right back and pinned her against the wall once again. "I have only one question for you, Ishita," he breathed angrily, "Why?" She looked at him puzzled and Raman continued, "Why are you even trying to put up this charade of not knowing me? Why do you keep running away from me? From us?" Ishita strained her hands in his firm grip trying to free herself as she replied, "Because there is no us. There can be no us." "Why?" Raman asked again. "Because I don't want there to be an us! And why does it even matter to you? I've forgotten anything that was between us. I have moved on. You should too. There is no point in thinking about what happened. That's why this charade. In the real world, Dr. Ishita Iyer and Mr. Raman Kumar Bhalla couldn't ever have met. Lets just leave it that way." Ishita took a deep breath before she continued, "You know how you stop in between for a break during a long-drive? Sometimes, during that break, a beautiful sight, a random stranger may catch your eye. You might click pictures, you might strike a conversation, but then? Then.. You get back into your car and resume your journey. Ranikhet and whatever happened there was that break in our lives. That break is over. Ranikhet is over, whatever was between us is over. Now, we have our regular lives. And in our regular lives, we have no place for each other. That one break cannot change our lives," Ishita said, looking at Raman with a strange determination in her eyes.

Raman said nothing. He let go of her hands and stepped back. Ishita stood still for a minute before she turned away from him and ran away.

***

"Raman Bhai, all okay?"

Raman turned at the sound of Mihir's voice. He really needed to talk to someone right now. Meeting Ishita, the way she was behaving with him, the words she'd said had churned up so much in him that he needed to let it all out. "Aren't you going to sleep?" he asked Mihir. "What's the point? I have to wake in two hours anyways. So I thought might as well just stay up. Once the puja for the vrutham is over, I'll go crash," he said as he plopped onto the bed in Raman's room. "But why are you still awake? I thought you would be knocked out after all that travelling."

"Have you ever felt Mihir, that your life is completely out of control? That you have no idea why you are thinking what are you thinking, why you are doing what you are doing? You know what the right thing to do is, you know what the practical thing to do is and still you end up doing something else?" Raman asked. Mihir looked at him confused for a few seconds before his face lit up and he said, "Yes bhai! Its called love. Whenever I am with Mihika, this is exactly what happens with me!" "Love?! What nonsense!" Raman said as he turned away from Mihir. "I know Bhai. I know you don't believe in destiny or fate or God or love. But Bhai, I am a normal human being. I believe in all of it and everything you described right now I've experienced in love. Of course, that is the opinion of a normal common man like me," Mihir explained. "Are you trying to say I am abnormal? Uncommon?" Raman asked. "Well, you certainly don't ascribe to the common man's beliefs. Like love, for example. A common man hopes and wishes for love in his life. And Bhai, you seem to have changed your perspective on destiny and fate, then why not on love too?" Mihir asked. "You know the reason why I don't believe in love," Raman said. Maybe it was better if he just agreed to what she had said, he thought as he looked out from his window towards the beach.

The ink blue waters glistened under the silvery glow of a crescent moon. Gentle waves teased the shore and receded in a playful rhythm; like they were lovers - the waves and the shore, engaged in a teasing dalliance. Each time the waves caressed the shore, the shore never remained the same. And yet, the shore waited in eager anticipation of the arrival of the waves each time - lapping them up and losing a bit of itself. Much like love, Ishita thought as she dipped her feet gently in the water. The notorious heat of a Chennai summer ensured that the water was still warm, so long after sunset. The resort owned a portion of the beach front, open only to its patrons and that gave Ishita the much needed peace and privacy she craved right now. Retreating from the water, Ishita sat down on the warm sand, pulled her knees up and rested her head on her knees. Love. He didn't even believe in love. But he believed in fate and destiny now. Had his thoughts on love changed too? She wondered. Not that it made a difference. Some things are just not meant to be, she told herself. Which was why she had attempted this charade. It was a stupid plan but having come face-to-face with him all of a sudden, unexpectedly, she couldn't even think of anything else. It would've worked.. If he would just accept that that was the way things were going to be between them. But he didn't. Why? She had accepted it. She had decided to move on, which is why she had decided not to even stay in the same city as him.

One month after Ranikhet.

No miracle had happened. No prayer had worked. Like she had promised him, no bond had formed to tie them together in anyway. Ishita lay curled up on her bed, the cramps in her abdomen reminding her of her painful reality, of her broken dreams In the drawer of her desk at her clinic lay a bunch of pregnancy tests, all telling her the same thing - she wasn't going to be a mother. And yet she had hoped. With each minute that her period had been delayed, she had hoped it was the sign of a miracle. But it wasn't. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't do this. How had she let this happen? How had she let herself fall in love when she knew nothing would come of it? Why had she hoped that maybe, if it was meant to be, a miracle would happen?

"Appa, Amma.. Please don't ask me anything.. Please just.. Just let me go.."

Ishita fought hard to hold back the tears as she sat in front of her parents announcing her decision to leave Delhi and move to Chennai.

"But Ishu, What happened? You can't just leave without telling us anything at all! Where were you? Who or what are you running away from? What happened Ishita? Tell us," Madhavi asked while Viswanathan Iyer sat there watching his daughter. Ishita remained silent.

"Ishu," Viswa spoke her name softly. Ishita raised her head to look at her dad. Viswa read the pleading, the sorrow and the pain in Ishita's eyes and he said "You can go."

"But Viswa.." Madhavi started to protest but Viswa interrupted her "I trust our daughter Madhavi. As long as she can still look me in the eye, she hasn't done anything wrong and I trust her to make the right decision. She knows what she's doing and we should respect her decision."

"Thank you Appa," Ishita smiled gratefully at her dad. She looked over at Madhavi. "Fine. We will all move to Chennai then. We will also come with you," she stated. "No Amma! This is our house Amma. We can't just leave it like this. And I am not going forever Amma. I will come back. I just.. need some time. Please try to understand Amma," Ishita pleaded with her mom. Madhavi let out a sigh and nodded her approval. Ishita rushed into their arms and hugged both of them tight as the tears kept flowing.

Her mother had been right. She had been running away. She had been running away from Raman Kumar Bhalla, from what she felt for him, from what she hoped for them. If she had stayed there, she would keep hoping - that someday in passing, she would run into him and that he would recognize her. He would ask her out for coffee. They would talk. And be friends. And someday while talking, she would be able to tell him the truth of her life and it would make no difference to him. He would hold her hand and wipe her tears and tell her that he loved her all the same.