Chapter 14: Non-negotiable
"Rishu...I...there's something you should know." Madhu said, and Rishabh's heartbeat doubled its pace.
In the mere seconds it took for Madhu to say her next sentence, a million possibilities erupted in RK's mind. He tried to read it on Madhu's face, but she looked even more conflicted and worn out than she did in the morning. She was perplexed, pained and...guilty?
"Rishu...I want you to know that...I don't blame you.." she continued.
"Huh" Rishabh muttered, not following entirely what she meant with the possibilities in his head.
"That girl who came yesterday...Dipali...your past...whatever...I believe you. I need you to know that. Whatever happened between the two of you, whatever the truth is...I believe what you told me...I know...I know it wasn't your fault. I can understand."
"Madhu..honey..."Rishabh started to speak, holding one of Madhu's hands. But she squeezed his hand tight and continued.
"It's difficult for me Rishabh...everything...I...I know this isn't fair on you. I am being difficult and...I...you went through so much..."she sighed, visibly struggling for words "Just give me a little bit more time Rishabh...please...I...I...for now I just need you to know that I trust you. Whatever happened, the circumstances...I get it wasn't in your control. I have my complaints with fate for it but not with you...ok...I..."
"Madhu...you can take as much time as you need. You don't know what this means to me, having your trust, knowing that you believe in me. Thank you Madhu thank you so much. For me nothing's more important than you. If it was upto me, if I could turn time back, if I had control on not losing my memory...I...but anyway. Now that you trust me, we can figure out. I know you need time. Take as much time as you want. I am here honey." Rishabh tried to convince Madhu, but soon realized that he needed to show her rather than tell her that she was around. She nodded gently, and then moved out of the car. RK knew there was still anguish in her eyes, but her words had put his mind significantly at ease. She believed him!
Maybe, he wasn't going to lose Madhu! RK drove back home feeling visibly lighter than he had for the last 24 hours. Everything could now start returning to the way it always should have been.
************************
"OK, why don't both of you finish your homework now?" RK instructed the kids, cleaning up their lunch plates. He felt happier than he had in a long time.
He had spent a large part of the morning at the Air Force Headquarters, dealing with, among other things, Dipali for what he hoped was for good. In his first debriefing, he hadn't gone into all the details of the tribe where he was captive and the individuals who ran their covert operations. Besides, he believed most of them had been captured in the Indian military operation in which he had been rescued anyway.
He now realized that whatever sense of gratitude he felt towards Dipali for saving his life was misplaced. She was dangerous and she was out of the military radar. Besides, she clearly could potentially harm him and his family, and that left no room for speculation. The previous afternoon, after Dipali had left and the discussion with Madhu, he had spoken to Makhija and told them everything about Dipali and her allies, their past records, their trade links for arms, their allies in other tribes that he knew of and most importantly, Dipali's phone number in the city that she had left when she had come to his place. They didn't know anything about her and that had helped her avoid the capture in the rescue ops as military thought of her as an ordinary tribal woman who knew nothing about their insurgency ops. But by this morning, a lot of RK's intelligence had been ratified by the agencies, her threat verified and Dipali's present location detected. RK had helped with whatever information he could provide, and a ground team operation had been planned to capture her for the following day.
Feeling a lot more confident about his family's safety, RK had then driven to his kids' school and picked them up, and was now trying to get them to give up their fun and games and study for some time.
"But daddy..."Rohan protested one more time, wanting to play his video game instead.
"No buts, or I am going to complain to your mother." RK threatened, picking up his phone.
"No no. I am doing it. See, see, I am already opening my bag. See."
"Okay." RK smiled, relenting, and was about to sit and relax himself when the landline rang.
"Keep sitting" RK gestured to an excited Rohan who wanted to the phone and walked up to the phone himself.
"Hello" RK answered the phone.
"Oh good you picked up the phone. You're there so Madhu must be home only. Beta you only explain this Madhu. Tell her that she can't ignore me forever by not picking up her cell phone. How long is this going to last?" the voice at the other end beamed.
RK recognized it as his mother-in-law's voice. RK wasn't sure what equation Madhu now had with her parents, and she certainly hadn't mentioned telling them about him. But RK was saved the dilemma of figuring out how to explain himself by Padmini who talked continuously without a break.
"You know as well as I do she doesn't ever think about herself. I know you told me when we spoke last month to not say anything to her, but how could I...I am her mother. And now that I know you care for her, I mean I can't see this any more. So don't get mad at me like her father, but two weeks back I told her that she has to marry you and I am not listening to any excuses any more. But now she's not even talking to me! How long is she going to cry over that useless Rishabh? He ruined her, left her with nothing but pain. He took her away from us. It's taken me years to start speaking to my daughter again. I don't want to lose her, but I also cannot see her toil day in and day out alone. You know she's suffering. You have to do it for me now. For her sake. For the kids' sake. You have to talk to her and convince her. She trusts you Vikram..."
"This is Rishabh, aunty" RK spoke up, suddenly silencing Padmini who had been rambling non-stop. An awkward silence ensued as she tried to comprehend what was going on!
" Madhu's Rishabh. I am back." RK said, and a few seconds later the phone line went dead.
RK stared at the receiver for a few more seconds before replacing it. While Padmini had been shocked, RK himself had been startled by that conversation. Padmini wanted Madhu to marry Vikram? Vikram wanted to marry Madhu? Vikram loved Madhu?
Suddenly, all of his insecurities from earlier in the morning started feeling a lot more real to him. He remembered the way Vikram had looked at her the previous evening, and RK could not help but cringe.
Suddenly, his optimism was lost. The relief he had felt after dropping Madhu disappeared. Yes, she had said she did not blame him over whatever happened with Dipali, but now RK couldn't help thinking that she hadn't said she loved him. And of course, she still looked so anguished, so guilty. Maybe she truly did understand that it was extraordinary circumstances that had brought Dipali into RK's life, albeit briefly, but that did not take away from the fact that Vikram was a part of Madhu's life too, and maybe that was by choice. Maybe Madhu was conflicted because RK had suddenly shown up and she didn't know what to do with her marriage with RK because she had moved on in all this time.
RK knew that Madhu's parents had never liked him. Back then, she had left them for him. But they liked Vikram. At least Padmini did. And Madhu liked Vikram too, though RK still didn't know to what extent. From Padmini's conversation it wasn't clear that Madhu had said yes to the alliance. Maybe she was about to, when he had shown up, or maybe not. If she did, would she leave RK for Vikram, just like she had left everyone for RK in the past?
The possibilities reared his head, confusing and frightening Rishabh.
He didn't want to believe the worst, because in his heart he was convinced Madhu loved him. Yet he didn't know if that love had weakened so much over time that another love had been born. What if that was why Madhu looked so conflicted, torn between her past love and her current love? What if that was why she couldn't share her feelings with him like she used to? What if that was why she needed time, to decide between him - who came with a past full of emotional baggage and past wounds - and Vikram - who had helped and supported Madhu over the last seven years and helped her build a life? And what would he do, if she asked him to let her go? Was he prepared to negotiate a separation from his family?
All night, the questions raged and fear reigned his mind. He knew he couldn't go and ask Madhu, who on her part was still as silent after returning from work as she was on her way there. The kids had joined RK in the car ride to and fro Madhu's office and soaked up all the conversation during the right and at dinner. RK and Madhu had not much to say to each other any more though, with both lost in their private hell.
*******************
The next morning being the weekend, Madhu as well as the kids were home, but RK got dressed to leave very early in the day.
"Good morning Daddy..."Ria emerged from her room and saw RK wearing his shoes, almost on his way out.
"Morning Princess. You're up so early on a Saturday?" RK smiled.
"Uh..uh.. where are you going?"
"Daddy has some work darling. But I will come back later in the afternoon and we will all go out, ok."
"Ok wow. Will you take us to the big park? Mom what was it called...where Vikram uncle took us last year for my birthday?" Ria yelled to Madhu, who was just coming out of her room. RK couldn't help but flinch a bit hearing Vikram's name.
"I will take you wherever you say. Now give me a kiss." RK replied before Madhu could answer.
"Where are you going so early Rishabh?" Madhu asked walking close to him "You haven't even had your breakfast. Wait, let me..."
"It's ok. You guys rest. I have some important work. I will be back later."
"But at least tell me where you're going?" Madhu said as RK walked towards the door.
RK considered not answering and took another two steps, then reminded himself of the history. He didn't want to cause anxiety by disappearing without information. Besides, just because he was confused and afraid internally, he couldn't take it out on Madhu. He didn't even know for sure where she stood. He stopped.
"Headquarters. I'll be back soon." he looked back at her and answered, forcing a little smile, then turned and left before he could see the shadow of concern and pain on Madhu's face that came at the mention of Air Force. He couldn't help it, he had to make sure Dipali's chapter was permanently closed. For the previous evening, he had got military to keep an eye on his home, but he knew all that was temporary and insufficient. He needed this morning's planned operation to go well and he wanted to be there to ensure Dipali was behind bars.
In all the other mess, that was priority number 1.
His family was non-negotiable.
Edited by teekay - 11 years ago
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