From Ovi to you..How Low can I go? - Page 6

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000

I never said she is right . I always said that personally i feel that no man deserves this importance .

But I see this as a story [ always have ] and I also see how others have behaved .

While you guys find it acceptable or understandable I do not . In fact absolutely not . They crossed bounds long back ...even the elders like Sulochana or Archana and yes even Purvi or Arjun who gave a 3 month old crush the name of eternal love . Each character has his or her viewpoint and I object to the kid's feelings being cited as 'obsession'when I have been watching PR since 3 yrs and i have seen many obsession examples ...all given by the lead pair .😆😆

If Ovi were my daughter ...I would tell her frankly no man is worth it . If she persisted I would leave her to her fate as life has taught me that youth does not listen and experience is the best teacher .

I would have never accepted a damad both my daughters loved . Accepting him means hurting either of my daughters and both are my kids . As an elder I would never have bought the eternal love story simply because i don;t believe in the eternal aspect of love that these youngsters see . I believe that the 'love' they feel is eternal is actually very hormonal , transitory and dies out as quickly as it got inflamed .[ No offense dears , Just stating my opinion.]

I have maintained since the beginning that Archana should have stayed out after giving a strict warning . Now its too late .

About Purvi having the right to caress Arjun's photo even after he is married bcoz a few rites of marraige may have made him Ovi's husband but in reality he belongs only and only to Purvi ...😆😆

Sorry dear but lets agree to disagree on this . Those few rites of marraige are very important to this dinosaur dear . Marraige happens before God for a reason . I firmly belive that one has to honour it . Theres no question of judging Purvi's 'love' as 'lust . Archana stood outside Manav's canteen with a dibba of sheera after her divorce to him when he was engaged toShravani till tongues started wagging although i have no doubt her heart was full of innocent spiritual love .

Here he is married . Cry at the break up but don't even touch him mentally is what i would advocate . Granted it is not lust ...still don;t touch him now ...for the bounds have to be observed . He is your sister's husband now ..with your own wish . Sighing over him in such a way does not behove you . These are puritanical thoughts but thats the way it is for me . One can use any amount of fancy words to justify this breaking of bounds but sorry i don't approve of it .You should have thought of it before you gave him up like a chocolate . [ here i mean Purvi.]

Neither do i believe in the eternity of love as young people comprehend it , neither do i believe that Arjun only and only belongs to Purvi , neither do i believe that marraige is a play that can be restarted iff you do not like it .

I only see facts and i see that Arjun Ovi are married now and what Kalapi says makes sense to me ...now what ?

Originally posted by: archverma10

So Kalapi and Kools...and Jhanvi and Jo...as an outside observer for the past few days let me take a few minutes to step back here.

Leaving all the fluff aside: the issues in contention here are as follows:

1) Practically speaking, should Archu, Manav, DK have accepted the marriage so readily, and should they instead be trying to get it annulled?

2) Would sending Ovi and Arjun away to a different environment make a difference in their marriage and help them learn to coexist in an amicable manner?

3) Would the above option enable Arjun to forget Purvi, be on board with making his marriage work, and allow him to slowly warm up to his "wife" and perhaps fall in love with her?

4) Was Archu right in giving Ovi the advice to use her friendship to try to get closer to Arjun and make her marriage work.

After reading all the back and forth posts...this is pretty much what I came up with. And here is my practical, purely logical and objective answer. No...to all 4. Here is why:

1) I would have argued very differently here if the same scene was done in public...in full view of the elders and with their albeit grudging consent. However, it was not done that way at all. The only people who really, to this day know what happened, are Arjun, Ovi, and Purvi (maybe we can chase down those 2 priests if we are lucky). All we know is what they say happened...aside from that there were no other eye witnesses. If my daughter came and told me something like that (All 4 of you..rest assured I am a mother too)...I would have some serious doubts and questions for sure...there is no way on earth I would be accepting that at face value without doing a little investigating first. I am damn well not throwing a party for it for sure I can tell you that much.

2) Absolutely not. Refer my post on Jo's thread "Ovi Not Reformed". You can take away a person's freedom, possessions, life, etc. but 2 things you cannot take: 1) their heart and 2) their mind. Kalapi dear I agree with you 100%...there is no healer like time. But we are talking time in 2 different contexts here. Time as a healer to get over the pain of rejection is one thing...time to make a person fall in love with someone when there is no spark is quite another. The best Ovi can hope for is an amicable politeness between strangers----notice I say the best. After what she has done, and the total disregard for Arjun's feelings, this cannot be explained away by the aspect of a new environment and time. Not at all. Kalapi, were the circumstances different, and we are talking about a couple that do not know each other, in an arranged marriage, I would say your viewpoint is valid. It may not be what I feel...as I do believe a chemistry/spark has to be there for any relationship to work...but I have also seen arranged marriages work...prime examples in my own family. So I would have been inclined to agree with you were the circumstances different. But unfortunately they are----and not after this kind of betrayal, self centerd-ness, etc. Ovi said it herself---they were best friends. Despite being this way, Ovi did this out of pure selfishness without any value towards that said friendship...and with utter lack of respect for the feelings of that person. I totally sympathize with her...there is no hurt like loving someone and knowing that person does not love you back. I have said it before and I am saying it again. It is the most painful thing on earth. But then again: "God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference"...it is easier said than done...I know. But it has to be done. It is the only way to move on...and still keep your dignity and self-respect intact.

So we have this background---and also add the fact that again, the heart is not a light switch you can turn off and on. Arjun loves Purvi...hands down...and although he liked Ovi as a friend...he never loved her...from the beginning...and even when agreeing to marry her again reiterates this. He does not love her----he never did---and he never will. In time, they may have become friends and learned to live amicably like I said-----it not for the fact that she can stoop this low, and she did. This will leave a mark on them that will never be erased. Remember the broken glass theory. Once broken, even if put back together, the crack is still there. A lot of us have been so busy saying this of our ARVI. But remember the same applies to Ovi too...even more so. My point being, as I stated there, again, what Purvi did she did for her Aai. Because justified or no, the silly girl really believed her marriage was a a direct reason for making her Aai's life miserable. No amount of reason or persuasion could get through to the daft girl. However, what Ovi did she did purely for herself----not for anyone else----this deal with the Devil is what it is...and eventually she will face the music. We all have to face the consequences of our choices...and she is no exception. Divine Justice and Karma happen to us all. Nobody can escape from that.

3) I think I have already pretty much answered this. No change in environment is going to change the fact of what happened or erase the history. Arjun never loved Ovi before...even in the best of times...when they truly were friends...given this...what makes you all think he will love her now? Just because he is in a situation he does not want? It doesnt matter what he agreed to...the point is that he never wanted this and he still doesnt? Hard facts...no change of environment...nothing on this God's green earth is going to change that. You cannot take Purvi from his heart and put Ovi in it no matter what you do. whats done is done.

4) I believe I just answered this. But to go further: Archu knows this is futile. Again, when he never loved her before...when things were at their best...what on earth is the difference now? His friendship didnt work before...how on earth is it going to work to make a relationship between them now?? It isnt. She can claim his body...and force him to live with her...but again, you cannot claim a person's heart or mind. It is what it is.

So yes, given these circumstances we can conclude that this marriage and relationship is doomed anyway. As to the annulment you are entitled to your own opinion but I advise that you keep this in mind: You can do what is needed to rectify it now...or let more drama, trauma, and heartache get a lot worse before you end at the same place.

Ladies, extremely good argument by all, not that I agree with all, but that is why we are here, isn't it???…sorry, join in late, away enjoying a musical night, but now that I here, let me speak on 2 points that I think was raised in regards to my post….

Firstly, Ovi love versus obsession – Well, to me what Ovi has is love. But remember love is different to different people and over time love changes its form to. To a person, what is in love at present changes into infatuation over time if that affair doesn't work, right? Now, when the couple was very much involved together, it was love nothing less. The moment the affair didn't work out, they (and the operative word is they) decided it was infatuation. An outsider seeing a couple actively involved can't really predict with any amount of certainty that it was infatuation.

So, to me Ovi's feeling was love, as Kool and other said, as Love is nothing but a perception, If you called Ovi inability to move away from Arjun when she came to know about their affair as obsession, then now that Ovi is married to Purvi, then both Arjun and Purvi needs to start accepting it (since to me the marriage has happened in no uncertain terms) pretty soon, rather right away, because there is a marriage, a concrete relationship established to the society we all live in. Purvi has become the 'other girl' overnight and Arjun her 'jeeju'. So crying discretely might be Ok, but seeing a photo and touch…ehhh…don't know….Arjun brooding over another girl, again…eh…not right, in my dictionary….Well, if this continues then, I don't even know what I will level their now past affair. Secondly, if we see the suicide attempts on Ovi's part as obsession, then so is Arjun's feeling towards Purvi, since he gave himself away to someone just to prove himself, is a form of obsession too….

Secondly regarding my use of the term freedom. I used the term 'Freedom' as a personal attainment…and personal attainment is different to different people, some want to spiritual ascend his being, a personal attainment for a sexual worker might be social respect to marriage… Anyway, Ovi's life achievement might be Arjun's wife. Yes, I agree with everyone that no Man is worth so much love, I have said so many times in my previous post, and I personally say, it reality, why love someone to destruction…not worth a love if it force someone to do all sorts of things….but, people doall sorts of things in love ( might be their follies), like ARjun did in PRland…and now, since the folly of a marriage was committed in same mind and body, so be it…Learning to live with decisions made in one's life, accepting the mistakes made in a decision process is part of adult life and adult need to accept it and start living it….one isn't given a rewind button that easily in life just because after an action, an adult realizes that the decision made wasn't in his/her best interest….so, to me, Ovi/Arjun need to live it out and figure it out how to best fulfill their commitment to each other…for as many said before, I am old school too, and believe that a marriage cannot be nulled and void as one fancies…..and at least the youngsters understand what adult life truly mean, both in PR land and in the audience…my POV absolutely…

Originally posted by: jdronamraju

Kools, I do agree on quite a bit of what you said about parents having only so much control on what the kids do. This holds true if the parents tried to drill some sense into the child, and if she/he does not agree, they may not be able to do anything. But, that does not hold true in this case.

In the case of Ovi, I have not seen anything from the parents, telling her what she did was absolutely wrong. Other than mild reprimands from Manav and Archana, which did not even touch her, they just let her go the merry way. Manav is as controlled by Ovi, as he is by his mother. He should be the one who should have made her realize what she did. It may or may not have affected what has already happened. He just seems so helpless when she goes off into her "poor me" phase. he just looks on and keeps saying "yeh galath hai beta.." and all she has to say is "apko pathaa hai naa baba mujhe kitna arjun chaahiye" and he let her do what she wants. What kind of parenting is that? there is no tough love anywhere? no wonder, she has turned out the way she is..
In this regard, we cannot expect much from Archana.There was no closeness between them back then, I mean at the time of this wedding, so she could not have influenced her in anyway. And now, Archana does not want to rock her boat of happiness too much either for her bond with her daughters is still not strong enough.

As far as Purvi is concerned, there was never a doubt about her self-respect. The only time she did wrong, was give Arjun away, but she did NOT do it for herself, she did it for her mother. We may not agree to why and how it was done, I definitely dont, but there is a big difference there between her and Ovi.

There are different kinds of love involved in this mess, Obsessive, deewaanapan, and love infused with gratitude.. No guesses needed on whose is what.😊

Originally posted by: pigglywiggly

this is for OVI

Originally posted by: pigglywiggly

this is for OVI

Originally posted by: -Yamz-

i've not seen a bigger fool than miss Ovi deshmukh. someone just get her out of PR...waste of space, time and all the efforts! rofl

Originally posted by: pigglywiggly

this is for OVI

Originally posted by: anupriyajenni

OMG!!!OMG!!!OMG!!!

👏

🤣🤣🤣