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jdronamraju

@jdronamraju

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#21

That is too practical for PR, Kools !! Where is the drama if it happens that way.. PR will have to end then...😊

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#22

Thats why i said that it will never happen . But they can do one thing ...they can show ARMAN trying and it not happening if they want drama . In this way respect for ARMAN will go up.

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jdronamraju

@jdronamraju

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: Kalapi

JD, don't you think in the present circumstance that all 3 needs to move on???
What could you do if you were Archana, under the present circumstance??
Curious, could you now, snatch Arjun from Ovi and give him back to Purvi'I am curious of your view point from Archana POV'or could you being Archana, ask Arjun to move away from Ovi...

Sorry, i was too tired last night, so logged out early and missed seeing this..

Seriously speaking,
If I was Archana, the present circumstance would not have been as such at all. The day they told me about the wedding and the goings on behind it, would be the day I would have given a severe talking to (read thrashing too, but not politically correct to say it 😊) to my daughters. To Purvi, for trying to decide on my future life despite my telling her not to, for playing with the life of another human being.To Ovi, for going to such great lengths to get something that she wanted despite knowing the other person is someone else's. Arjun, is not my child, so even though he deserves some of it, will leave him alone.But, after that, I would take them to court and get the marriage annulled. Let me tell you why. Forget about Arjun, Purvi and their relationship, which may never be repaired. This is not the way to get a husband, how much ever you are in love with him. It can be my daughter, but I will not condone such behavior, be it Ovi or Purvi. Getting married to a guy forcibly is not the solution. What happiness is she going to get in life, living with a person, who clearly is in love with someone else? Even at some point, he starts treating her as a wife, she will never really be his love of his life. My daughter deserves much more than this. I would not want my daughter, Ovi, to be always second in her spouse's life.
I do, like all of us, believe and uphold the sanctity of the institution of marriage.But, despite that, I would not want my daughter to have such a life, where she has to constantly fight for her rights as a wife. This will be the case still, even if Arjun accepts her in time. I will never want my daughter to compromise in life to such an extent just so she can have him in her life. She deserves much more and better from life.
It is not a question of snatching one person and giving him to another. That would be bartering Arjun all over again. What Purvi and Arjun do later is not the issue here. I am just talking about what I would do, if Ovi was my daughter.
So, yes, I would get the marriage annulled even in the current situation.

This is my opinion, of course, probably radical to some, and am not the REEL Archana to have the infinite patience, wisdom and sanskaars.. I am after all a MANGO WOMAN !! I love that phrase, by the way ... 😊

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Kalapi

@Kalapi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#24

Kool...absolutely, Archana has involved herself in this foolish triangle from the beginning, now she can't just say, You all deal with it now….

It was her mistake to get involved the very first instance when she came to know that Arjun and Purvi is having an affair, and that Arjun is engaged to Ovi at the same time. It was in her hand then to say, I don't support anyone as both are involved with a single boy and that Boy have inevitably two timed the girls…She could have said to both girls, "move on, you are young, there are plenty of good men for all of you'. Instead, she supported Arvi and made the first mistake…

Now when Ovi and Arjun have married, as a mother she can't just say, 'Arjun/Ovi divorces each other and Arjun marry Purvi.' Marriage isn't a toy that can be passed around like a toy when one fancies.

Youngsters need to understand that being adult comes with a set of responsibility and that responsibility includes accepting the decision made by them and living with it. If all youngsters, after a day of marriage decides that the marriage was wrong and go for a divorce, can we imagine how the society will disintegrate with no moral value….no that isn't right. All of the 3 took a conscious decision and as adult it is for them to abide by the decision…

Yes, now as adult, Archana Manav nned to talk to DK about Arjun/Ovi and maybe send them on business to some other country. It will start the healing process for Arjun and both will start settling down together. In the interim, get Purvi a job and work on getting her married. All of 3 are fighting different battles and diverting their mind enough will only heal them…

I also think that with Arjun, Ovi need to move on right away, instead of giving him time.Ovi should work on her marriage with Arjun and Arjun as a person sooner than later. What will giving him time really do? Nothing to me. He will only brood on what happened and either feels sad about himself or miss Purvi. It only aggravates the situation for him. So, if Ovi right away moves with him to a different place and start interacting with him with love and patience, he will start to heal. Under the present circumstance that will be the right thing to do….my POV…

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Kalapi

@Kalapi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: jdronamraju

Sorry, i was too tired last night, so logged out early and missed seeing this..

Seriously speaking,
If I was Archana, the present circumstance would not have been as such at all. The day they told me about the wedding and the goings on behind it, would be the day I would have given a severe talking to (read thrashing too, but not politically correct to say it 😊) to my daughters. To Purvi, for trying to decide on my future life despite my telling her not to, for playing with the life of another human being.To Ovi, for going to such great lengths to get something that she wanted despite knowing the other person is someone else's. Arjun, is not my child, so even though he deserves some of it, will leave him alone.But, after that, I would take them to court and get the marriage annulled. Let me tell you why. Forget about Arjun, Purvi and their relationship, which may never be repaired. This is not the way to get a husband, how much ever you are in love with him. It can be my daughter, but I will not condone such behavior, be it Ovi or Purvi. Getting married to a guy forcibly is not the solution. What happiness is she going to get in life, living with a person, who clearly is in love with someone else? Even at some point, he starts treating her as a wife, she will never really be his love of his life. My daughter deserves much more than this. I would not want my daughter, Ovi, to be always second in her spouse's life.
I do, like all of us, believe and uphold the sanctity of the institution of marriage.But, despite that, I would not want my daughter to have such a life, where she has to constantly fight for her rights as a wife. This will be the case still, even if Arjun accepts her in time. I will never want my daughter to compromise in life to such an extent just so she can have him in her life. She deserves much more and better from life.
It is not a question of snatching one person and giving him to another. That would be bartering Arjun all over again. What Purvi and Arjun do later is not the issue here. I am just talking about what I would do, if Ovi was my daughter.
So, yes, I would get the marriage annulled even in the current situation.

This is my opinion, of course, probably radical to some, and am not the REEL Archana to have the infinite patience, wisdom and sanskaars.. I am after all a MANGO WOMAN !! I love that phrase, by the way ... 😊

Yes JD, you are very radically😃, I must say dear…not only that it seems your definition of eternal love and love of ones life, reminds me when in school I used to read those romantic MB novels and the leads always at the end lived happily everafter….only we as the viewers didn't know what that 'happily everafter' meant since that was left to the readers imagination totally. But the fact is that in real life even after a torrid love affair, people go through divorces. So, to me at least, the everlasting love it hard to swallow that end in a divorce. Seen in real life, who had a love affair for 5 yrs in collage, married lived together and separated after 10 yrs…so where did the eternal love go???

Now to the question at hand, to me Ovi didn't force anyone to do anything. She just put forward a proposal that Purvi accepted with sane mind and Arjun accepted too. If Arjun really wanted, he could have walked away…So, no force was involved, rather the contrary, marriage happened with consent…

So, now that 2 consenting adult married, a mom, comes and decides that the marriage isn't right?? Who or what gave that right to the mom, when in the first place, the young adult never asked or even consulted to the marriage…My post of Archana talking to Dk was to act as a catalyst so that the situation could be contained only. Here, the mom decides that the marriage isn't right when in reality no one knows that given the time they might love each other to the extent that it will be true love.

Remember the movie SilSila, that Amitabh and Rekha couldn't just walk out of their marriages even though they wanted….you know why they didn't, not because they love diminished for each other, but because over time they realized that they have accepted their responsibilities and duties towards their spouse and unconsciously started to love them as much. Also, the society that we lived in does really condone such actions from adults and want adult to take responsibility for their action. Besides love isn't quantifiable nor is a concrete entity dear…so Arjun's love for Purvi might in time be replaced for Ovi…the heart does act in the weirdest of ways…Time is definitely a great healer…..

Now about the mom forcing the daughter to divorce. If I come with a proposal for this daughter for my son and hear this, I will definite take my son and run….really, I don't want a samdaan, who is so forceful and aggressive and decides on her daughter's behalf, what is good for her….so even if the daughter says she is happy with the hubby, but the mother thinks otherwise, she will force her to divorce…remember the movie Kora Kagaz…yes, mom does do a lot of things that may not be in the best interest of her daughter… ….my POV, of course…😃

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jdronamraju

@jdronamraju

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#26

hahaha.. glad to have reminded you of your school MB days :):)... However juvenile and unreal you may find my opinions are, I still do not agree to yours. I see that you are quoting movies too...no fear, Kalapi.. you will never see a sambdan, like my version of Archana 😊...for they exist in the ideal world..or maybe, in my imaginary MB world !!! 😆
So, let us just say, in regards to this matter of opinions, never the twain shall meet...

Definitely, my POV 😊

Edited by jdronamraju - 13 years ago

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vgiri

@vgiri

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Thats why i said that it will never happen . But they can do one thing ...they can show ARMAN trying and it not happening if they want drama . In this way respect for ARMAN will go up.

Kool, I thought about this point this morning..very well stated

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#28

It is not about the mother wanting or not wanting certain things in a certain way or ideal way at all .

The youngsters took certain decisions on their own without involving the parents , They did this for a reason . They wanted to take decisions on their own without involving the elders as the elders would have made them change their decisions . They did this as they did not want to change their decisions .

If Purvi wanted she could have discussed this with Archana ...she had ample of time . She did not because she knew that Archana would never agree . So she decided to go ahead and do it anyways .

If Arjun wanted he could have told DK on the phone at least . He did not . He decided to listen to Purvi bcoz according to him listening to his ladylove was 'pyaar'.

If Ovi wanted she could have told Manav beforehand instead of the morning after her wedding

This is the way youngsters are ...they prefer taking decisions on their own as they think they know better and perhaps more than elders . It is the folly of youth .

Now in such a case what can the mother do ? What can the parents do ? What can the parents do when the kids cite a legal age like 18 and take foolish decisions on their own indicating its my life and hence my decision? They know better but what can they do except watch helplessly ? DK , Archana , Manav all watched open mouthed and helplessly .

The mother may want her daughter to have self respect in a marraige and her damad to revere her as a wife but if the daughter does not mind the insults and wants only that man what can the mother do before such obstinacy . Her ideal wishes for her daughters hardly matter as daughters are simply not listening !

Are kids that obedient to annul a marraige coz the parents wish it ?

Will Ovi who has gone to great lengths to get Arjun listen to Archana and annul her marraige after hearing talks about self respect ?

Will Purvi who has a steely determination although she weeps a lot listen to Archana if she is told to marry Arjun ?

I am not even talking about Arjun here ...only about how much how much control she has over her daughters . She herself as a daughter had run away from her marraige mandap when Sulo was getting her married to Jaywant much against Sulo' s wishes . Could Sulo do anything about her attraction for Manav ?

Choices of life are anything but ideal and as per the parents' wishes .

If the marraiges take place without the consent of elders why even expect an ideal annulment as per their wishes . The annulment too will take place as and when the kids see fit .

The elders can only pray for the kids and try to make the best out of an existing situation thats all .

Besides Archana is shown uptill now very very traditional ...she believes in marraige for life . She made her sister go back to a bigamist husband and she herself refused remarraige with Satish and Jaywant although her marraige with Manav was anything but perfect .

So imperfect marriges are for life is what she believes in and it will be interesting to see how she handles the Arjun Ovi marraige .

As for Arjun ...Purvi led him on and then dumped him at the altar is the reality of the great love story . Ovi is going to pay fer her life for her role in this deed but if inspite of this Arjun goes after Purvi its his burden and so be it .

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soapwatcher1

@soapwatcher1

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#29

Great points of view from eveyone.

Ovi is married to Arjun and yes, she is correct in trying to save her marriage. Let us agree that she only simply just placed that atrocious, totally selfish but very smart, calculating, stragegic proposition in front of Purvi and it was all Purvi's mistake for having accepted it. I am assuming in light of the above statement, if someone entered my house and put a gun to my child's head and said, "give me all your money or I will blow your child's brains out", I guess if I willingly hand everything over, it would not, could not, stand up as robbery, force, trespass, aggression or blackmail in a court of law. I, after all, did hand everything over without a fight and willingly.

That apart, Ovi is married to Arjun now and wants to keep him. Let her win him over by fair means, no problem with that at all. But ah, I forget she does not know the meaning of the word "fair" so she goes to her aai and solicits her help in sending the girl away. Enough is never enough for Ovi. So you send Purvi away and if Arjun does not forget her, what next? Will Ovi hire a hitman to get Purvi scuttling to the netherworld? That would be okay too, I guess, in her thinking as she is after all only trying to save her marriage at all costs.

Ovi needs to understand she has to fight this battle alone, she needs to win her husband's love i.e., if that can ever be hers, fairly and squarely. The "all is fair in love and war" can be applied both ways, Purvi then can come back and ask for her love back, her aai was restored her happiness by Tej not Ovi and so can renege on her terms and demand Arjun back, she can renege even otherwise as unfair too is fair in love according to the adage. I am sure Arjun will go back to her willingly. Marriage should not matter as marriage never mattered to any of the three anyway. It is a holy bond, no doubt, but they played havoc with it by abducting (figuratively) Arjun from the mandap to a hilltop and disregarding all norms of elders, respect, family, all. So merely going around the fire does not make it sacred,. To me all attendant emotions, accessories have to be present. That is why a court marriage is a marriage as well, the intention is there, the minds are one, so also a temple marriage where the groom willingly, lovingly ties the manglasutra in the absence of all. But that is my POV and definitely not all gleaned from romantic novels.

Jyo, if I ever Archana,this is what I would do. I would talk to DK and Manav (not because Archana got involved first time around, her getting involved did nothing in my opinion, it did not fuel ARVI love, she only prolonged it by getting involved and in withholding her blessing for a while with that silly condition) only because I would want to make the right decision for my daughter, Ovi. If Arjun was still in love with another (not saying it has to be Purvi) and was not ready or able to forget the other girl, I would talk to DK to convince his son to make up his mind and release my daughter. Marriage or not, I would not want her to be subjected to a life of misery with a man that does not love her, who has cared two hoots for her in this entire situation. I would find it totally degrading for her to be falling all over herself to get his love when he has done squat in return. This is my objective take on it even if my daughter Ovi had no hand in that infamous proposal.

As for Purvi, if I were Archana, I would thrash her for being stupid enough to throw away her chance at happiness, I would give a "talking to" to my mother, Sulo and tell her not to be selfish. Yes, I would force Purvi to take a job and keep her mind away from Arjun (this is whether the other girl was her alleged sister or not) not because of my archaic belief that he is suddenly her jiju and off limits but for her own sanity and happiness. Yes, I would be on the look out to get her married to a handsomer, richer and nicer boy who would worship the ground she treads on (yes, this thanks to M&B) and who would not give her up at any cost even at her own stubborn insistence. Even if I were romancing my newly found 50+ or 60+ husband (which is entirely my business anyway😉), I would make time to talk to parties concerned, for the sake of my daughter Ovi and my daughter Purvi.

Also, Purvi carressing Arjun's face in the photo, I don't see anything wrong in it, she is not touching his face directly, she loves the guy, was supposed to have married him two days ago, you cannot turn off love and your heart like a tap, sorry. She can sleep with his picture underneath her pillow if she wants. My POV. 😃

Edited by soapwatcher1 - 13 years ago

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soapwatcher1

@soapwatcher1

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
It is not about the mother wanting or not wanting certain things in a certain way or ideal way at all .

The youngsters took certain decisions on their own without involving the parents , They did this for a reason . They wanted to take decisions on their own without involving the elders as the elders would have made them change their decisions . They did this as they did not want to change their decisions .

If Purvi wanted she could have discussed this with Archana ...she had ample of time . She did not because she knew that Archana would never agree . So she decided to go ahead and do it anyways .

If Arjun wanted he could have told DK on the phone at least . He did not . He decided to listen to Purvi bcoz according to him listening to his ladylove was 'pyaar'.

If Ovi wanted she could have told Manav beforehand instead of the morning after her wedding

This is the way youngsters are ...they prefer taking decisions on their own as they think they know better and perhaps more than elders . It is the folly of youth .

Now in such a case what can the mother do ? What can the parents do ? What can the parents do when the kids cite a legal age like 18 and take foolish decisions on their own indicating its my life and hence my decision? They know better but what can they do except watch helplessly ? DK , Archana , Manav all watched open mouthed and helplessly .

The mother may want her daughter to have self respect in a marraige and her damad to revere her as a wife but if the daughter does not mind the insults and wants only that man what can the mother do before such obstinacy . Her ideal wishes for her daughters hardly matter as daughters are simply not listening !

Are kids that obedient to annul a marraige coz the parents wish it ?

Will Ovi who has gone to great lengths to get Arjun listen to Archana and annul her marraige after hearing talks about self respect ?

Will Purvi who has a steely determination although she weeps a lot listen to Archana if she is told to marry Arjun ?

I am not even talking about Arjun here ...only about how much how much control she has over her daughters . She herself as a daughter had run away from her marraige mandap when Sulo was getting her married to Jaywant much against Sulo' s wishes . Could Sulo do anything about her attraction for Manav ?

Choices of life are anything but ideal and as per the parents' wishes .

If the marraiges take place without the consent of elders why even expect an ideal annulment as per their wishes . The annulment too will take place as and when the kids see fit .

The elders can only pray for the kids and try to make the best out of an existing situation thats all .

Besides Archana is shown uptill now very very traditional ...she believes in marraige for life . She made her sister go back to a bigamist husband and she herself refused remarraige with Satish and Jaywant although her marraige with Manav was anything but perfect .

So imperfect marriges are for life is what she believes in and it will be interesting to see how she handles the Arjun Ovi marraige .

As for Arjun ...Purvi led him on and then dumped him at the altar is the reality of the great love story . Ovi is going to pay fer her life for her role in this deed but if inspite of this Arjun goes after Purvi its his burden and so be it .

Objective take. Parents can advise but cannot force the children. You can take the horse to water but cannot force it to drink. Adhikaprasangis all 3 of them. And they should be allowed to squirm and suffer in the mess they created and find a way out.

They should take the advice of the parents, the parents will be concerned (natural role of a parent) but since all 3 are headstrong, they should wallow in their own sorrow. DK does surprise me, he seems so nonchalant that it is scary that Arjun turned out half as nice as he did.

Archana is old-fashioned but she also needs to realize that her take on it has nothing to do with how these youngsters handle their life, they have cared not an iota as to what their parents or society might think, so let them figure a way out.

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