~SaJan OS~
~~Part FOUR~~
~I Don't Care But Deep In Heart It Hurts~
(This update is only dedicated to "Swati api[Swania_2].. I know its late api but never too late lol Happy belated birthday once again.. i wrote this part specially for you n second part of your birthday gift will be updated later :) )
"Are You fine ?"...As she heard his whisper she realized why she was feeling so safe..she was in his arms..she broke hug getting embarressed...nodding...samrat held her hand..assuring her it's fine...
Later They were for lunch..she wasn't talking much like she used to..Samrat didn't feel good ..her smiles looks good on her face..he questioned himself why he cares ?... Soon food was served n they silently ate..Gunjan was hitting herself every moment mentally... she never had wished to get embarrassed..n now she was...However samrat did enjoy the situation as she was silent and for first time he thought she is cute..kinda adorable..
In evening it was engagement function...which SaJan enjoyed..Samrat stares at her who had wore a white sleeveless salwar suit..she had diamond ear rings n a necklace..her hairs were partially clipped..she looked like an angel as he saw her dancing along kids..n having fun...
Samrat felt an arm...on his shoulder..n he smiles as saw Mayank..who winked at him...n Samrat only smile n stares back at Gunjan.. that girl was driving him crazy...
Gunjan looked around to see any familiar face...n saw samrat along Mayur..she bit her lips..there was no option for him..she doesn't know anyone of them..so she just walked to samrat...n samrat as felt..turned n saw her...gunjan was a bit puzzled as didn't get how he knew she is there..she distract her thoughts as soon as she started speaking to Nupur..Gunjan liked Mayur Company..and samrat seeing her relaxed felt peace...
Later in Night as both get changed gunjan was messaging her hands ..while samrat was tired n had lyed down on bed beside her..when he looks her all silent..he realized she must is missing her family...he thought to cheer up her..
Samrat:Gunjan...?
Gunjan:hmm...
Samrat:Kal Khahn chalna hai ?
Gunjan:khahein bhi chaley jaein gy..
Samrat:Han skiing mein interested ho ?
Gunjan:no way ..[Gunjan looked at him n he could see fear in her eyes..]
Gunjan's fearful expressions were priceless for samrat to watch..Gunjan looked at samrat who was now laughing..
Gunjan:what so funny ?
Samrat tired to control his smile..
Samrat:nothing u are scared of skiing..
Gunjan:No i am not..
Samrat:then why you dont want to go ?
Gunjan: Because i don't like it..it's late i am going to sleep..
Gunjan tried to ignore him she doesn't want him to know that she is weak or scare from anything..
Samrat: yah i know you love boating nahn ?
Gunjan:Good night..
Gunjan sighed she knew its coming but she turned lying putting off her lamp..
Samrat:Good night Chashmish..
As she heard she put on it again n looked back at him.
Gunjan:what? what did u just say ?
Samrat:Good night ?
Gunjan:NO what you just called me ?
Samrat realized he actually called her chashmish n she seem upset on him..
Samrat:..um..Gunjan..
Gunjan:Don't lie to me..you called me chashishm HOW Dare...
Gunjan roared like lioness..but before she could speak more samrat put hand on her mouth n they both ends up on falling on bed..while samrat was on her//
Samrat:Soory Soory Just lower your voice gunjan please.. I am puling away my hand now please don't shout..
As soon as he removed hand she jerked him away n said in anger..
Gunjan:I hate you..
Samrat:Nothing new in it..Chash...
Samrat bit his lips as knew whats coming
Gunjan:Don't call me samrat or...
Samrat: or what?
Samrat looks at her as her face was telling it is something he don't know
Gunjan:nothing Mr.Leechar...
Samrat:What?
Samrat glared her n was shocked too..
Gunjan:Good night Mr.Leecher..
Samrat:Gunjan stop that..
Gunjan:Better never call me chashmish i will never call you Leecher.
Samrat:Fine..Good night..
They had now even..samrat felt upset how she can call him leecher or whatever ..he calls her chashmish but it never mean he is making fun..its just he loves to call her by that name..
Gunjan:Have sweet dreams...lee...
Samrat:Stop it..
Gunjan:night..
Gunjan gigled as they both turned on other sides n cursed each other n slept..
...
It was wedding function...she had wore a red gown..
It was a Christian wedding ceremony...
Since samrat had saw her he was not able to look anywhere else just her..for him it was nothing else in the world...his chashmish..his whole world..no matter how much he had tried to push away his feelings..his thoughts for her...it was always her to be on his mind..for every time...
His stare was making her blush hard..she felt her heartbeat rhythm less ...she was unable to name her feelings..she just knew she had dressed up just to see his reaction..she was attending ceremony just because he was there beside her..
As the bride n groom exchanged vows and rings... Why but it happened like Sajan wished to be there instead..to say in words what they feel for each other..no matter how much they had hated each other in those months..how much they had ignored..but in these days they...had felt different...they meant to each other..something was in between them...
Samrat tried to look at gunjan but she was missing...he searched around for her...he found her speaking up on phone...he smiles as thought may be it was from their familes...he thought to irritate her a bit...as in these days they had become good friends at least...as he walks near to her a bit...he stopped at once as her voice made him stoned at his place...
"Acha baba...han mein jasy hi wapis aon gi tm sey milney aon gi..han wo divorce dey de ga..wo apna har promise pora karta hai..."
He was unable to stay more there n he left for there...was he still unable to make her realize that they are...together ? or he just concluded it wrong ? in all these days if she was with him..it was coz she was helpless? she had no other option thats why ? he was in shock...
...
"Yeh samrat khahn gya abhi tou chodh k gaye the..pata ni kidhar chala jata hai maloom bhi hai usey uskey elawa mera koi ni hai...yahan...uskey elawa...kuin jab bhi uska name ata hai mujhey aesa hi kuin feel hota hai k mein galti kar rahi hon? aur divorce? kia waqai mein yahi chahti hon k wapis jatey hi samrat mujhey...han yahi tou cha tha mein ne jab sey hmari shadi hui thi...phir aj mujhey sab acha kuin ni lag raha ..jab k janti bhi hon...k ab wesa hi ho ga jesa mjhey chahye..tha ...magar samrat...wo kasey rahe ga merey begair...merey begair ? usey meri kami hi kuin mehsos ho gi...us sey tou kbhi mein ney hans key baat bhi ni ki thi...uskey lea tou mein ne kbhi kuch ni kia phir ? aur mujhey kia fark parta hai...k...wo kush ho k na...par yahan usney mera kitna khayal rakha hai...kitna enjoy kia hai sath mein...ab tou hum dost bhi hain...divorce k baad bhi hum achey dost tou reh hi saktey hon gey na...wo pata ni kia feel kar raha ho ga...wo kuin kuch feel karye ga usey konsa mujhsey muhabbat...muhabbat ? merey aur samrat k beech mein tou kbhii yeh lafz aya hi ni ...pata ni kiya musibaat hai..kuch smjh ni a raha...yahan mera dum ghut raha hai...bhair jati hon..."
...
"Oh God!!! Mein kasey yeh soch sakta hon...merey aur chashmish k darmiyan kuch ni hai ...hum dono kbhi sath the hi ni tou phir mjhey divorce sey kia problem ho sakti hai ? acha hai k mein phir free ho jaon ga tension sy...chashmish aur tension...in dino tou aik pal k lea bhi ni laga...mjhey laga tou wo yahan bhi over react karye gi jasey uski adat hai..par yahan tou aesa feel huwa jasey...wo waqai mein meri wife ho...merey friends ko apna manti ho...aur nupur mayank ki shadi mein kitna help kia hai usney...aur usey sath kitna enjoy kia hai mein ne...itna tou mein kbhi apni life mein ni hansa hon ga jitna uska bachpana dekh k mein hansa hon in dino mein..wo kitni masoom hai...phir wo kuin asi harkaat karti hai..k mera dil kudh us sey dur ho jata hai ? kuin uski life sy wo ni chala jata...ughh!! sam stop being selfish...! ...now i am sounding like her...she loves him..thats right i just have to let her go..and thats best for us..."
...
"OMG its raining outisde..wow"
Gunjan smiles at rain as saw it through glass door...and just then while thinking about awesome weather and asking samrat to join her in enjoying it...she spotted him near bridge in rain...she perplexed...why he was there ? he hates rain..then why ? she remind she had felt someone at her back but as she had turned she didn't see anyone...she felt her eyes widened as realized that it must be him...it was him...she bit her lip...so why he was there?did he feel bad about it ? did she make him angry ? he was angry last time he had seen her with him..does he really is now ? God!! you can answer your queries later chashmish ...what ? now i am sounding like him...ugh i have to go ...!!
She look around there was nothing except she saw his black coat...she grabbed it..n moved outside...
...
I was lost in thoughts...when I heard voice...I could say it was her...coz it was her payal's voice...I could sense it...MY heart was beating at faster rate as it used to do...when ever she is around...I closed eyes in dismayed..as heard sweetest voice to my ears...her voice...my name sounds from her more good..."Samrat..."...I sighed...I wish to turn but i didnt...i felt her hand on my shoulder...i have to look at her behind..again..no i don't want to get lose myself in her shiny eyes...may be i could get answers of my questions..as i turned i saw her...all worried...she was there...coz she saw me in rain..why would she care about me ?...she doesn't love me.. why would she love me ? i don't know about her anything...there is nothing common in us. .."samrat chalo barish mein behgoo gey tou bemar par jao gey..."...all her voice was making me crazy..why why was she here? she shouldn't be here at this time...i hated rain...but i loved rain at that time...why wouldn't i ? ...she was looking the most beautiful girl standing right in front of me..while rain was kissing her..oh how much i wish to have her in my arms..so i could feel her wet hairs...i could wipe worry from her face...i could lick rain drops from her wet soft lips..how would it taste ?,,,,,,i couldn't but was lost in my crazy thoughts about her.......as she held my palm trying to make me pull in real world back...i was still standing there...she turned her face back..all worried...n then i don't know how why when...i held her palm n pulled her back in front of me..in my arms..she was shocked..but not upset...."sam tmhey thand lag jaye gi yeh ley lo..." she had bring coat for me ? why she cared for me ?...she cared for me getting cold but what about her..?she was standing right in front of me in rain...and her gown was now stick to her due to rain..i couldn't think much..as my hands involuntarily took coat from her hands..and i put it above her n me...i was staring at her while she had lower her eyes...she was so close to me...i could hear her heartbeats..i felt my world stopped as she gazed at me....she was staring in my eyes...i felt like she wants same..what i wish to...i was so afraid of touching her..i don't want this all illusion..or any dream..but as i touched her cheek..i felt it is the most softest thing i can ever felt..circling over her cheeks...running hand over her wet hairs..it was feeling like this is all i wanted in my life ever to have her beside me...i was able to touch ear rings in her ears..her neck...my fingers creased her forehead..her nose...her lips...left me spellbound...why were they so tempting ??...they shivered as my thumb creased them...she was trembling in my arms..was it rain or my touch? ...her eyes..were driving me crazy..why they had same blink as i had ? ... I don't know why when how...but yes i felt like all this she want same...at this time...as i lifted her head from chin..n her eyes looking in my eyes...as i bought my face near to her...as my gaze fell on her lips...her eyes gazed at my lips...we were both thirsty...i thought it is a dream...as i leaned over her face..n as my lips touched her for a second...i closed eyes...was that all i had thought it would be like ?...they were more soft than i had ever imagine...i felt like forgetting about everything...as felt her lips touching my lips...i opened my eyes..she had closed her eyes..she was innocent beauty..she was the most beautiful girl i had ever saw... .i couldn't wait more..as my arm grabbed her tiny waist pulling her closer..n my palm cupped her cheek..while her arms encircled my neck..it was the best feeling i had ever experienced..as we gave in ...our lips kissing each other...n that time i realize...how much i loved her..what she means to me...she is my lifeline..she is my heart beats...it was she all the time.. to whom i had imagine to live my life along..the one who was always there with me in my dreams..it was my chashmish..because of whom i had felt what it is love...what could i name the feeling..which was more amazing ...when i felt her lips kissing me back...we were no more on earth..we were in heaven..where everything was blissful...i didn't wish it ends ever...i could held her for eternity..i don't want to miss the feeling i had while her lips on my lips..it was all i had experienced ...as i realized while kissing her..it is impossible for me to live without her.. i want to be with her..no matter how much it sounds selfish..but thats all what she wished too...i want her to stay in my arms forever..i want her in my life..beside me..every single time..i wanted to kiss her again n again...as we pulled away our lips..we look in each other..eyes..there was nothing except ...Love...wish to kiss again...n i touched once again her lips...and she kissed me back...I closed eyes feeling all light n contented...as felt her hugging...i knew it..she loved me back in same way i love her...thats all i wish...to live with her together forever...no matter what...i love her ..she loves me..all that was for me ...!!!
...
I Saw him lost in thoughts..as he hadn't react to any of my shouts.i felt my pulse rates slowing down as I had fear if he is angry with me'I was completing the distance between him n i..i so had wish there was no distance between us'all the time may be did I wish it ?..i called him..."Samrat..."...he didn't turn why why he didn't 'it was all my fault I shouldn't have receive the call ..why did I 'I should have ignore the call at that time too instead of replying it to stop him from calling me again'yeah since being with him here I had wish to dump my cell phone in garbage...i put my hand on his shoulder..God..how much I had stoped myself'but I was so helpless..i wish for once he look at me..i want to tell her I don't wish that now. But I was so afraid..i hurt him ..why was he punishing himself in rain..coz of me.. I just want him not to suffer at that time most''.as he looked behind at me..i wish he never stop looking at me'his gaze was trying to find question..what question ? did he get my worry for him? 'I shouldn't let him know..it's wrong.. I shouldn't make his life more miserable now..but I was so helpless seeing him getting all went in rain..."samrat chalo barish mein behgoo gey tou bemar par jao gey..."...why was he silent staring at me..his questioning eyes was killing me..i was feeling to die..looking at him was just making me lost'he was so handsome'I never had look at him in that way..but he was..attractive'.God!! I can not let myself lost in him..we should move inside..it is raining''I held his palm..trying to let him know'.but he was still..why..why he wasn't moving'.he was driving me crazy'.to control myself...i can not stare at him no it will make me lost in him again'.just then I felt myself pulled'n I was in his arms..it made me shocked..but I was not upset..as that's all I had wish...my palms getting cold in his hands..i felt myself staring at him'how much I wish to ran my fingers in his hairs..how much I want to crease his face'.raindrops on his lips..driving me crazy'but I have to push my feelings back....."sam tmhey thand lag jaye gi yeh ley lo..."'.all that I could whisper..i was feeling so helpless..all I just him.i didn't realize when he took that coat which I had forgot til that time..my pulse rate was racing 'my heartbeat was loud..as he covered us with coat as cover'I felt myself shivering..i was unable to look at him while being so close to him..but I was dying to see him..and as I looked above at me..i felt my world stop..i don't wish time to move on now...his eyes were like my reflection..i wished this is not a dream..but as he touched me..i felt myself in heaven'it wasn't close to what I had imagine it was more sensuous..i feared he is able to hear my heartbeat..he is aware what his touch made me feel..his creasing..in my hairs'as his finger played with my ear rings n then creased neck'took my breath away'I trembled..all that was so much to take it..as his thumb creased my lips'how would it feel when he will''.and before that I felt him close to me more'and I looked at him 'I knew it..i wished for it'as his finger lifted my chin..i looked above at his face'n his lips..which were completing the distance..and I closed my eyes'as his lips touched mine'.what I felt is unable to describe. ''I opened eyes and saw him closing eyes..i couldn't wait more..he was tempting me crazily'I wanted to relive moment once again..i had not trust on time that I will be able to experience this touch again or not..i touched his lips..this time it left me with more curiosity and urge ''I wished to place my lips their forever 'n like he heard me..he held me close back..as we continued kissing each other'our lips were perfect match...i was in his arms like a doll..and I was feeling more protective n more comfortable than I ever felt'I was meant to be there..i had wished for that'I realized no longer I wish to be away..i want there for ever..i realized I love him..i love him madly..i loved him always..it was my ego which never let me fall for him..i had made him stay back..all I wanted ever was someone how could make me feel the way every girl wishes for'but now I had realized no all I wanted was him'that feeling was only because he was there'.my lips were kissing back from longer than I had realized '..and it felt amazing'like what I could never describe'I wished to be there in his arms'..he wished same..he was there because he cared for me..he had always..he was there because he doesn't wish me to let me go..all that I wish'wanted to be with him forever'n he wishes same'it was perfect'like a dream..i had no fear now..i belong to him'.and he know..n wishes same..to make me his'that's what I wish'someone who not only wishes to be with me but also want me to be with him'.i hugged him..coz I knew now no matter what I will be with him..coz that's all it should be..it was in this way'n it should be in this way'..I love him'I feel being with him..i wish being with him..thats all nothing more nothing less..I love him !!!!
'''''''''''''..
Winds blew away the coat'but nothing makes them awake from their dream..as they were letting themselves getting drenched in rain..in each other arms..that all they had wished all '.how much they act they don't care for each other..but in truth that all was hurting them in deep hearts..and in all these days they had realized..they can not let each other hurting each other more''.
''''''''''''''''''.
Next LAST PART :)
Edited by MSluvsSI - 12 years ago
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