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Chawllenge
Malik climbs the stairs to his abode in the common corridor of the chawl, which he has commandeered because he has the biggest muscles. My, what a big knife he can fit in his trousers. Ahem.
Pads comes and questions him like a domineering wife. And she says she isn't Mrs Malik? How so? What right on earth she has to question him like a vagrant teenager we are never told. Anyway, believing that truth is the best alibi, Malik reveals he did go to the hospital but to see his suffering daughter (ha!) and not that rakshas RK. Padmini cannot believe that anyone can be unmoved by the superlative hotness of RK. We see once again that she is perfectly made up even in the middle of the night. That 24 hour cover foundation is really doing the business for her. She remembers that hot son in law often pays her surprise visits in the middle of the night.
RKham Asylum
Kitchen. Long-suffering kitchen staff girl is long suffering. Because she has to hear a running commentary on honw RK likes his eggs from Deeplali. Dips babbles that he likes brown toast, strawberry jam and baked beans. What a very prosaic breakfast. If I were a superstar I would have wheatabix made of angel hair every single day. Except on Sundays, when I would have devil's tail griddled with a wet walnut sauce. Just sayin'.
Dips sees some gray looking porridge on the counter and gets all militant about the carbs. Enter Madhu, who says she'll feed her husband what she pleases, tyvm. deeplali burns. Eggs fry. Sikki appears and horrifies poor kitchen staff.
Madhu takes her glutinous burden to hot hubby. Hot hubby is engaging in a pretty thick flirtation with Gannu. Who now resides on a decorative red cloth in the bedroom. He says lots of things which I wasn't really listening to because RK was looking so hot in that violet T. Like sizzling, burn you in an instant hot. Upshot is that he has come to terms with the terrible things that have happened to him, i think they were trying to show the stages of grief. Perhaps one of the writers took psych 101.
Anyway, Rk tries to offer flowers, Madhu butts in, supporting his bandaged hand in the correct scripture prescribed Hindu wife manner and getting in a good fondle while she does so. No wonder she tied that massive bandage herself, ( which is obviously alive and sentient as it has doubled in size since last night). The minx! Now he needs her help like ALLL the time, which she is very happy to give we can see. Then RK gets a pic of his father out. Acceptance and stages of grief completed.
RK doesn't even blow his top when he sees his mom there. Just asks for his breakfast from his wife as she were his bonded slave. So he hasn't turned to a soft-centred noughat bunny with a marshmallow centre after all.
Hurrah! And all that, but the feel of the scene is as if Madhu and Radha are watching a performing monkey, or a child learning to use the potty for the first time. Well done, liddle RK! Who's done his first pop poo in the Pottypoo, now?
Why don't you put in a shower scene, PH wallas? Or a sponge bath? I could do with a sponge bath with RK. I mean to say, I could do with SEEING RK in a sponge bath. Now THAT would be new and interesting! Film-making of the level of Terence Malick, if you ask me.
Because, interested minds want to know how RK got changed. Or showered. Pray tell. You can't just skip over such vitally important details, you know! It's a matter of international importance. We may have to have a CAG enquiry on the matter. Kejriwal will have to get involved. It'll be messy and not in a good way. So just show us, why don't you?
Then there are whole bunches of scenes where Sikki and his dad are harrassed by lenders. Sikki gets held up by two unconvincing looking goons, while his dad gets calls from a lender while wearing the latest in lounge wear that shows off his expecting tummy to perfection. They drown their worries in a bottle of Baileys and come to the conclusion on the basis of that one bottle that Dips still has money.( it costs 21 pounds, chumps. Not 2100)
And FQ's worst fears come to life as Radhaji wants to hold a navratri pooja. Deeplali feels sickened, as do we. Madhu tries to act all noble, sly puss. Sigh. It's a disease. A terrible, never-ending contagion.
Chawllenge
Malik changes into a new kurta. And realises that that colour suits him v well indeed. No, he realises he has left his locket behind in the hospital. Wow, way to retrofit plot clunkiness.
Sirens! Police appears. Moustachios look up at Malik with dread retribution! Pawar has landed, Beware all wrong-doers! Aren't Mumbai police brilliant? To trace someone by a locket. It's almost like it was a wallet with a driving license.
Meanwhile in Lalaland.. Madhu and Rk are having an adorable breakfast. RK looks so meltingly sexy during this scene that words fails me. He smiles, he blinks, he touches her face. It is proved that Madhu is indeed superwoman, because had it been any other woman, she would have thrown away the porridge and eaten him instead. And just as sweet rapproachment beckons, they hear the news that Malik has been arrested for the attack on RK.
Drama! Tears! Confusion! Accusation! Misunderstanding! Separation! Aka: Another month in the life of your daily Hindi soap!
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