Camera: Roll...OK, Rolling...Lights, Ok...All set, OK?
ACTION!
Ek Aadmi tha...wo ek makan ke gate ke pass maayus khada tha...what a dramatic back view. Aur beech beech main thoda itihaas ki sair karke aaraha tha... Shayad isike liye wahan ek board bhi tha "Trespassing not allowed...etc etc" Another middle aged man was trying to console him, ki ab jaane de. Aisa kabtak chalega beta? Bete ne bhi bol diya: yeh makaan kum, marham zyaada tha. Phir hamara dhyan uss gate pe jung lagi chain par gaya. Sahi bola inhone...Kya marketing hai Ji. Tetanus ke injection ki sale badhane ka isse achha upay koi bataye hume...In general marketing plan achha hai. Soframycin ka marham bhi yahin milega aur tetanus ka injection bhi. Aur agar thoda zyaada hogaya to pain killer?
Aur kya dialogue tha: ab marham kahin aur se aayega na. Aisa laga ek dukan main pain killer stock khatam hogaya to doosri dukan se layenge. Ab hume nahi maloom ki painkillers bhi insaan ka roop dharan kiye baithe hai yahan.
Ladki hai kya...re Baba...Hanuman ji se prarthana kar rahi thi ki muje fail kar do. Maine aapki challis stanza waali poem padhi hai. Wahan hanuman jib hi full confused. Aisi prarthana shayad pehli baar suni...ooper se ladki boli ki aapne koi exam nahi diya hoga na...Aise kaise? Ramayan nahi padhi aapne? India se Lanka two way ticket liya tha ji aur wo bhi non-stop. Not just once, but twice...
Wahan Dadi Bua ne kaha, meri bachhi ko pass kara do nahi to main pooja path chhod doongi. Hanuman Ji ne socha chalo achha hai. Roj roj inki agarbatti ke dhuye se mujhe wheezing hoti hai, aur inki madhur aawaz se mere ulcer main jalan. Tathastu kehne waqt thoda confuse hogaye, ki exactly main kisko tathastu kehne jaraha houn? Aur galat jagah keh diya...
Aur hall main ek baal-heen aadmi apne breakfast ka intezaar kar raha tha. Aur kitchen main ande dhoonde ja rahe the. Arre bhai, tawe ke neeche gas to jalao ji. Phir yaad aaya ki iss ghar ka fuel to Hanuman ji ki kripa se aata hai ji. Koi chhote miya chef hai, jo driving seekhna chahte hai. Roj roj ka auto ka chakkar inse nahi hota ji. Ghar ke log to paper padhte rehte hai ya pooja karte rehte hai.
Yahi sochate sochate hum pahunche dining hall: Ladki apne pappa se pooch rahi hai, paav kahan hai? Maine socha yeh paav bhaji ki baat kar rahi hongi. Ya phir anda paav...breakfast main to wohi bana tha na. Pappa aur beti ne kya cute game khela...dog aur bone ki tarah. Jee khush ho gaya.
Phir Ladki bhagi apne neighbour ke ghar. Apne ghar ka breakfast kisse achha lagta hai ji? Hum bhi bachpan main apne neighbour ke ghar pe muh maarke aate the. Kamre ke bahar laal batti aise jal rahi thi jaise koi X ray scan chal raha ho. Phir pata chala. Under ek bhalu apni kitaab main madhumakkhi talash kar raha hai. Bhalu bhi kitna cute. Poochhta hai tum under kaise aayi. Maine socha yeh bolegi, apne paav pe chalkar aayi (Abhi Abhi to apne Pappa ke paav dhoondh rahi thi na?) Aur yeh boli, Darwaze se...lo kar lo baat. Ab aap koi Hanuman ka avatar thode hi ho jo khidki se under aate jaate ho?
Enki saheli bathroom main fashion magazine padh rahi thi. Humne socha, constipation hogaya ho to ek dose castor oil ka le leti na...ya phir meri horror novel padhti. Yeh fashion magazines se kya hone wala hai ji? Khair chhodo ji. Hume usse kya?
Paper main result aagaya...AIR 14th ? Wow...Hanuman ji ki jay ho. To ab bani Nidhi Verma officially Dr Nidhi Verma. Achha to yeh inka naam hai...waise to yeh bolti hai, mera naam hain Nidhi Verma, magar mujhe daktari nahi karna...Hanuman Ji ne galat jagah par apna stamp laga diya kya?
To ab yeh logon ki jaan bachayengi? Ek hospital main internship bhi mil gayi inhe. Achha hai na. Khali ghar baithe wo Chalis stanza ki poem to yaad nahi karni padegi. Hospital jane ko kya taiyyar ho rahi thi, jaise PP1 ka bachha pehli baar school jane ko taiyyar ho raha hota hai. Ooper se lipstick...Inki friend ne bola, hospital main handsome doctors bhi hote hai na...Hume to background music sunayi de raha tha: Laal laal hothon pe gori kiska naam hai?
Waah bhai waah. Kya statement tha. Ek doctor doosri doctor ki taraf attract nahi hota. Bhala kyoun? Aji, two north poles don't attract each other. Theek ussi tarah, kissi ke dil ki badhati dhadkane inko cardiac arrhythmia lag sakti hai na. Humne to ek joke suna tha: ek doctor ne doosre doctor ki ankhon main jhankane ki koshish ki to wo boli, mere itne pass mat aa...tu mere blind spot pe hit maar jayega..Khair rehne dijiye. Yeh medical language humko samajh nahi aati.
So Dr Nidhi Verma gaddi lekar taiyyar. Kehti hai kharounch nahi aayegi. Nahi to marhum haina, aur driver is a doctor in making...Aaj inka pehla din hai.
Wahan par doosre doctor sahib neeladanth lagaye gaadi chala rahe the. Itne main call aaya, ki hospital main emergency...to inhone pehla kaam yeh kiya ki neeladaath utar diya. Accha kiya. Aage phone nahi aayenge. Aur doosri bath ye ki aage jab takkar hogi tab yeh ilzaam nahi aayega...
Kya takkar thi wo...Matter Vs Anti-Matter!
Aur Pyaar Hogaya...
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