From demon,to Ram ,to father
I once was known as a monster! not a vicious one but one with a gentle heart
Life was a dream seen with open eyes and I was my very own dream merchant smart
The light of my household was I ,the torch which shone in every eye of my clan
It was I, who brought a smile upon my father's lips ,the country bumpkin with no fan
But for me he was one who always had the time to spend with me, laugh at my jokes.
My mother a beauty in looks not so by heart, only saw me as a tool to gather wealth for which she hopes
My princess dadi taught me right from wrong , respect , compassion for the less fortunate
I left home to better my chances in life, and it drizzled with the vigour of living it to the full!
Till to my roots I returned on my birthday! the waters of mother Ganges give me my welcome home gift, the gift of pure Ishq
Day break it was, out of the pure water sprang forth the purest figurine of white plaster, surreal..
I still recall it was a guessing game , guessing her age ?but what of that ? young as she was but none the less wiser.. I found out later
I remember my friends watched my performance. As I swam across the holy waters of the Ganges
Viplav watch your way here! it was not avant-garde Delhi but conservative Banaras
roost to widows
Only her I saw, a goddess rise from the pure waters, blind to the white stigma she wore and bore
I failed to differentiate her marked difference from the rest of the world..
her unspoken alienation
To me she was a wager, a bet I had to win in the face of my friends!
that's how I was..unruly, brazen
A widow, but for mine eyes only a woman! fragile like the white lotus,
Prasad? I held my hand , politely
instead this young widow screwed her nose! told me all the things about myself I didn't
want to know .. dicey! feisty!
She held against me celebrating my birthday on the boat with Raj and pakhuj .. so what
if I had a few drinks?
Smelly drunk !she made me feel! never gave me the offertory ,was I so obnoxious?
Impudent repugnant? she gave me a glimpse
Viplav never loses a bet and this will not be a bad joke on him ! but on her! I made sure
Stalked her to the temple , did the unthinkable ,poured beer in her small silver pot !
For my dastardly deed the young widow got flack from the whole of Banaras ! something turned inside me , hurt a lot
I felt discomfiture, what did I gain? unsure , but that day seeing her behind bars
I lost something from within me , a bit of tranquillity , but on the contrary caught a faint sparkle of some stars
With Dhani .. young , feisty ,somewhat innocent woman, it was not love at first sight ! it was more she wound me up!
Not that she challenged my station and breeding it was her composure that
troubled me!
My interest grew in Dhani two folds! her disinterest in me was engaging ..
how could that be? as I was always the life and soul of every ones' business
The young ice maiden in white roused a strange sentiment in me felt like never before..
Many came and went in my life but Dhani, lingered on, each time I met her she occupied me more
Yet Dhani denied me, being more to her then necessary ! thats what she was conditioned
to think as a widow! denounced, detested and despised
Babba died and I lost one who gave me quality time , a fathers love..
I learnt from him to spend meaningful moments with one's own child
I was shattered, the one who ho gathered me was Dhani! love shaped from sympathy , understanding, friendship
We fought the world, traditions, family , to gave a name to our relationship the colour of our Ishq
Love had to be tested, people, misunderstandings , created gaps between us I misjudged her
Dhani walked out of our marriage , my life , and I was left with nothing but memories of how things were ?
Viplav was no loser!he found her cause to promote .. create a safe , haven for the many widows of Banaras !
I too moved on .. had too, for a personal pressing reason..a boy child for which I was blessed
I lived for five years , a sullen , joyless life with all hopes of ever meeting Dhani again repressed
Till one day my good deeds paid off.. the gods smiled at me and I found my flower fairy, Vidha!
The father in me leapt with joy and for the very first time in five years..
I smiled in Mumbai! It was meeting myself after a long while
Hope rekindled in my heart again, if my daughter is around, her mother my love will be nigh..
Dhani was nearby but for me it was more trauma to bear , than meets my eye.
She had moved on ,like I did, but this time, all is not lost , the flower of our love will pull us together
Vidha.. Vidha.. my darling daughter, in your hands now lie the flowers of your parent's Ishq let them not wither.
Vidha , present your parents, the bouquet of colourful dreams they once dreamt.. make them reality again.
Vidha , your demon uncle is a changed man today ,you my angel have made him into a father
For whom nothing in the worlds now matters ! just so long as he can have her and Dhani rather..
Hamlet53 11.8. 16. Commemorating one year birthday celebration of Ishq ka rang safed 10th August 2015~ August 2016
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