Part 45
Was there anything more beautiful than this Geet wondered? The pierced silky black velvet revealed millions of chasms radiated light so pure and unearthly. In singularity each star was tame but amassed as a whole the sight was breathtaking. Not only did these distant beings illuminate the lonely night with their luster but also brined the ocean surface. Without these specks of heaven, fathomless darkness would permeate with its only company being the thrashing ocean water against the weary fractured rocks.
Staring at this splendor surrounding her Geet remorsed over how greatly she misconstrued the beauty all her years. Previously only the consuming darkness enveloped her mind as the specks of light became an afterthought. Through her current position, however, she understood how wrong her view had been. It was not the spot up atop of a cliff with the ocean below and the sky above that changed her opinion, rather it was the inner state she was in now.
If the chance were available months ago to sit in this very spot and reflect she would have focused on the bleakness. Viewing this inky black then would have led her mind dwell on the unknown of what lay out there with a heavy heart. Disappointment would have befallen her seeing nothing but chaos as she reveled in structure. But now she gazed at it with curiosity and embraced the disorder with open arms.
These attribute changes were not warranted because in her the adventurous side had awoken, but for the simple fact that it was natural. She had had her life planned out, year by year, deadline after deadline only to have it all crash because of a disorder caused by no one other than the world around her.
A disorder that initially resembled a curse shredding away piece by piece the life she built so meticulously turned out to be a blessing that restructured her life into a clean slate. This disguised transformation of her state of being from mere ordered existence to an ignited living revealed the magnitude to which they lacked essential control over their own life. With vigor the realization hit that their choices and stance in life made no difference in the realm of true reality.
In true reality within seconds, everything they think matters, their career, their relationships, even themselves, could disappear and it's out of their control. Understandably most of us prefer to conveniently neglect such absolute for the sake and comfort of perceptive reality. It's only when you see not with, but through the eye millions of years' worth of life continuing so sublimely does the cruel truth hit. It's what happened to Geet as she pondered in a trance with her gaze fixated on a twinkling star around the moon's halo.
Only when the cool breeze swayed over them did Geet snap away from her swirling thoughts. To find warmth she buried her face deeper into the inviting crevice of his neck. Feeling her inch closer Maan tightened his hold on her waist to shield her in his stature. As he peered down at Geet a smile developed on his usually tight lips seeing her eyes marvel at the panoramic view of the Atlantic Ocean at night.
Knowing no room existed for silence in Geet's world he questioned what thoughts were dancing in her mind. He anticipated hearing a reply raving of the beauty in front of her or a notion about how chilly the weather was, altogether failing to recall these were responses he should expect from any woman but Geet. Thus it shouldn't come as a surprise that instead of a reply, Maan received in classic Geet style an inquiry that threw him off entirely.
"Do you think we are insignificant Maan?"
Had the question been uttered with a tone of tremulous he would have been worried. But there was no hint of fear or sadness, all he heard in her voice was curiosity, an interest to which he had no insight of. "If I didn't know you better I would ask why are you reverting to the depressing Geet I knew months ago?"
Identifying amusement in his statement Geet turned her head, which rested on his shoulder, upwards giving him a soft smile. "I beg to differ on my state a few months ago. I wasn't depressed. I was disappointed."
He raised an eyebrow but otherwise let it go and began to sift his mind for an answer. Maan learned from prior experience that straining his mind too much for a question that never crossed his thoughts was not worthwhile. More favorable was to make a contrary conclusion and let Geet's mind enjoy the exploration of all the insights of the world. So he simply replied no.
Geet noted his perspective without belief in the same. As she roved her eyes in a single swoop from the sky above to its mirror image reflected in the water she concluded quite oppositely. "In the grand scheme of things Maan, I believe we are all equal in our insignificance."
Internally he entertained why his good intentions drew Geet's contemplations towards such a grim view of their lives. Then again Geet wasn't the type of person to cease observation in any situation with or without him. He did however want to make for certain her ideas weren't convoluted due to the sudden news of her mother. "Does this have anything to do with yourā¦?"
With an immediate shake of her head Geet cut him off knowing who he was referring to. "No Maan. I'm not making a personal assessment I'm considering what we all overlook on the whole."
Suspecting his silence being a consequence of his concern she lifted her head off his shoulder and turned sideways facing him, causing his hold to release. She glanced between his eyes and extended legs with twinkling eyes before she swung her right leg over both his and sat astride. Accordingly as a smirk tugged his lips Maan pulled her closer allowing his arms to encircle her tiny waist.
Leaning over Geet grabbed a fist full of sand and filtered it between her fingers. "Don't you often think we are like a grain of sand?" As another salty breeze wafted the tiny grains in all directions she lifted her head skyward and inhaled deeply. "When you look at a night so clear and beautiful as this don't you question our existence compared to all that's been here before us and will be there after we're gone?"
A sense of spell binding awe overtook Geet as her mind drifted away into the glorious brilliance. In a voice as still and haunting as the black sea all around she whispered. "Beyond this tiny world of ours, even outside of our minds, our problems and worries mean nothing. In the grand scheme of thingsā¦nothing of us mattersā¦not even usā¦" Breaking away from her cold gaze of curiosity she smiled at Maan. "We are an inconsequential scratch in the universe."
Her words were remarkable but more so was the provoking sadness they eluded of Maan thought. Staring at her profile basked only by the moonlight his mind drifted back to the moments of when they met. It took only one look in her eyes to see he wasn't alone in his fate. She was broken from the surface to the core. It bothered him despite barely knowing little else than the pain he could see. In fact, it bothered him so much he stared into this very ocean that night and wished for it to swallow all of their problems.
Now, he understood why that wasn't possible. Their problems really meant nothing in the end. Their problems were a problem of perspective not reality. Had they the ability to just let go instead of holding on, they'd be such simple, happier beings. Yet, he didn't believe the same held true for their existence. As a whole, they most certainly might just be cosmic dust in this vast unknown space. They might not matter at all in the history of existence, but in the here and now they did. He knew that for certain.
After glancing at the sky, he dropped his gaze to Geet and broke her silence of admiration. "I suppose in the grand scheme of things we are insignificant. Neither does my existence nor yours matters more than a grain of sand."
She shifted her eyes on him when a lingering pause took over his lips. As soon as she did, a smile swiped over his face. "But in the now, where we live, we are significant. You are significant to me." She returned him a smile with love hovering in her eyes and an unobservable tint creeping into her cheeks.
"These stars aren't a sign of our insignificance, rather they are a reminder of the very opposite." Geet wrinkled her eyebrows questioning how. While pushing away her wayward silk strands from her eyes Maan questioned her memory. "Do you remember how we met Geet?"
A faint, wistful light smile lit in Geet recalling the day so very clearly. The instant she laid eyes on him a shiver traveled down her spine. It wasn't a reaction of attraction or desire, though later on it certainly was. Then it had been something so much more. Something inexplicable reverberated inside of her. Geet couldn't grasp what it was initially but slowly her heart made her understand. Wrapping her own arms around his waist she intertwined her hands on his back and tilted her head up at him beaming. "Of course I remember Maan."
As he peered into her glazed almond eyes a deep clench grasped his heart. He recalled the very first time he had only glimpsed into them for a fraction of a second and found a hollowness mirroring his own. "We met in the shadows of our past Geet. We had nothing but the voice of terror as company in the emptiness."
Unraveling a hand from her waist, he gently caressed her soft cheek with his firm hand. "Our darkness rivaled this one in depth, despair and yearning for we had no specks of lightā¦no glimmers of hopeā¦no sweet resonance of life."
"You were on a path so distant yet so similar to mine, like these very stars." Raising his head skyward he pointed to the stars twinkling above them. "They meet only in darknessā¦their significance is only visible in darkness Geet."
With a tenderness only reserved for Geet, he smiled at her. "We are the same way. We roam in the shadows searching for a life to give us meaning. We search for that singular star that can pull us out of our black hole with their beacon of light." He wiped a tear that streamed down her eye. "You are the light in my darkness Geet. You are significant to me and always will be."
After all that Maan had done Geet questioned whether there ever would be any more space in her heart to hold all her sentiments for him. Now it was clear, there was and always would be where he was concerned. She grasped his shoulders tightly as the intensities of these whirling emotions overwhelmed her. Her natural response was to release tears of joy, a state men often don't comprehend.
He wiped each salty stream lovingly. "Why are you crying Geet?"
She shook her head not being able to find a way to speak her thoughts. The rush of emotions hindered her voice while inside they bursted so vibrant and loudly. Geet eyed his features in awe. The first time she laid eyes on him, she believed it impossible to reach the man that lay underneath the stiff mask and guarded heart. Yet, here he was.
Grazing his cheek she never thought with the aid of a small smile one could look years younger but he did. It could also be the fact the severe wrinkles dissipated around his eyes showing just how human he was. She no longer could see a glimpse of the former man that was suffocating under his own set expectations. This was the Maan, she had so long desired to see, one that so certainly stated he needed her and no one else.
Staring at his remarkably striking eyes, she knew for certain she needed him too. He had carried her so far, so effortlessly, with so much fidelity. She depended on him for support, comfort and most of all, love. Wasn't it his turn to know he had someone to depend on? Didn't he deserve to know she also shared an equal devotion to him as he did to her? He had always been so clear about his intentions, wasn't it time to give him the comfort of the same knowledge?
It was beyond that time Geet concluded. A tranquil smile swept her face as she spoke what she felt was long overdue. "I really must be God's favorite child for him to have given you to me. You never asked for anything of me, you gave and I took everything." She traced his jaw line with her supple fingers. "Not anymore Maanā¦I will give you everything and more. I will love you always like you love me."
He knew those weren't words of gratitude or debt. Long ago he had seen her move past that and begin to love him, only for the sake of loving him and nothing else. He only yearned to hear from her lips the affirmation of the emotions he saw swimming her honey pooled eyes every day. Today, he had received that and nothing could have tugged his heartstrings more so. Yet there was one thing he didn't appreciate about her words.
"You took nothing that wasn't already yours Geetā¦and there was nothing you didn't give back to me ever." He hovered right above her lips, caressing the sensitive skin below her ear tenderly. "When I started to fall in love with you, I made promises to you. I promised you that I would do everything in my power to protect you. I promised to care for you, support your decisions and love you without restraintā¦"
"You did Maanā¦.you did all that and more." Her hands travelled from his broad shoulders to cup his face in her hands as she gazed at him with pure adoration. "I don't think is anything that you can't give me Maan."
Laying a finger over her lips he silenced her. "Don't put me on a pedestal Geet." He admired her faith in him but they both knew the truth of life. "I can't give you a fairy tale life. I can't give you only my love without my flaws." He grabbed both hands that held his face and kissed each palm letting a searing sensation burn on them. "But I can promise you I will always be by your side with my love for you being above all else."
Her eyes trickled out silvery pearls of happiness. Hearing a man of few words bare all his feelings out for her was inexplicably heartwarming. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her forehead. His voice was husky and heavy, laden with all the love he had for her. "Do you think you can live such a life?"
An uncontained shock traveled inside her heart while a simultaneous chill ran through her body. Her liquid eyes locked with his that gleamed with unconquerable hope. "Will you be my light forever?" Tightening his grip on her hands, he leaned in feeling her breath upon his lips like perfumed air. "Will you take me out of existence for a life lived with you? Geet, will you marry me?"
Her heart pounded in her throat. Closing her eyes she knew, she knew there was no future she desired that he wasn't a part of. She knew there would be no one who could melt away her fears like himā¦no one who could give her as he didā¦.no one else's touch would melt her heart . She wanted no one but him, no one but him to grow old withā¦no one but him by her side the rest of her life and in the ever after.
Maan saw the riot of emotions in her eyes. The one that so clearly glowed caused his heart to flood with pride. Seeing her nod that instant his whole soul sighed with sheer serenity. With her mind drifting as high as the stars she didn't even notice when or from where he pulled out the ring that was now gliding on her finger. She stifled back a sob before gliding her arms around his neck. She clung to his collar and wrapped herself into him where she felt so rightfully belonged. "I love you Maan."
His eyes watered hearing those words so naturally slip off her tongue. The heart he for so long thought could feel nothing but pain actually melted at her proclamation of love for him. For so long he had her fragrance to keep him company, her touch to keep him alive, and her eyes lingering on him to keep in him the search alive for her. Now, he had her sweet voice always echoing of her love in his heart. "I love you too Geet."
She pulled away and smiled broadly gathering all her scattered impulses into a passion. Within Maan's eyes a quick flame ignited seeing her stare at him with ardor filled eyes. Leaning in he kissed her lips ever so gently. Geet glided her hands around his nape and pulled him back with eagerness for a desire to show him, to make him feel just what he meant to her overpowered Geet. She loved him more than her soft lips, her pure heart or her deep eyes could convey but with all three she would tell him always and forever.
Feeling wetness on his cheek, Maan slowly released her finding her eyes glazed with sheen. They glanced between him and the hand which held a symbol of what lay ahead in their future. A sudden sadness befell Maan seeing her sight linger on it. He held her hand and thumbed the ring with his fingers. "I'm sorry Geet."
Her eyes darted at his startled. "For what?" Maan nodded at the ring with a slight frown. "I know most women want to be proposed on one knee."
Geet's heart swelled at his concern but she truly found no fault. Letting one hand rest on his nape, she used the other to grasp his cheek and lift his face towards her. "Most women need to a man on one knee to catch them when they fall. You held me and always have, so there is no question of me falling." Geet brushed his lips making sure he saw the bliss and happiness in her eyes as she spoke. "You have always protected me in these arms. There is no other way I want to be claimed as yours than in them."
His lips loosened into a content smile. "For as long as I'm on this earth, I will never let you fall." Tugging her tightly against him, Maan rested his forehead on hers. "You will forever be in my arms, I promise." A pearl ebbed from Geet's eye knowing for certain there was no other truth.
Their truth was no other because they had endured too much not to enable with all their power this new life. They met in darkness with no flicker of hope in any direction. They had no expectation that in their path they would stumble across an equally lost and broken being.
They had no hope that the foreboding sky would pulse one day with hope. They had no reason to believe the ocean below would one day cleanse and heal their souls. They had no inkling that the broken being they unwilling met during a time that seemed so distant was not a teasing shadow.
It was a lonesome soul that dwelled in the darkness, a soul that needed to be pulled back into the light. A soul to which they unknowing radiated hope and life under the shadow they disguised. A soul that was made for them to find, forge a bond with and become willfully trapped with forever.
Edited by Limerance - 12 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Book Talk
448