the day i fell for you..arhi os - Page 2

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Omoraboti thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#11
Oh! and post in IPK forum!! :)
adrastiathena thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#12

Originally posted by: Omoraboti

You have nicely written Khushi's feelings! The use of words was wondeful. Enjoyed reading it. :)

I will agree with the suggestions with devilindisguise. Make the story easy on the readers' eyes. Add spaces and use shorter paragraphs! :)



thanx..means alot to me...😳
..MorningStar.. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#13
Hayyye! Such a beautiful OS!

Very Sweet for a first time writer 😳

But I have issues with the spacing out of the paragraphs, the typos and the font size. Try proof reading before You post.

Otherwise the concept is just too cute and Lovely! 👏

And Do PM Me next time when You post something New.. :)

Will Be waiting. 😛

Thnx for the PM~!

P.S- Hadiqua.. You have a very pretty name ;)

devilindisguise thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: heckwidif



thanx..means alot to me...😳



ohoi!!!dil me laddu phota
lol u no my spellings are bad
do i see u grinning lik an idiot???


aquagal thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#15
That was good. Arnav Khushi confessing their love and inspiring their son too. 😉
adrastiathena thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: aquagal

That was good. Arnav Khushi confessing their love and inspiring their son too. 😉



thnx...
adrastiathena thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#17

Originally posted by: ..MorningStar..

Hayyye! Such a beautiful OS!

Very Sweet for a first time writer 😳

But I have issues with the spacing out of the paragraphs, the typos and the font size. Try proof reading before You post.

Otherwise the concept is just too cute and Lovely! 👏

And Do PM Me next time when You post something New.. :)

Will Be waiting. 😛

Thnx for the PM~!

P.S- Hadiqua.. You have a very pretty name ;)





thank you so much!..this is the best comment i received and about the font and typos my system wasn't co-operating then ...thank you so damn much..u r adorable as well
. 😃😳
adrastiathena thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: devilindisguise



ohoi!!!dil me laddu phota
lol u no my spellings are bad
do i see u grinning lik an idiot???




well yeah!!!...😃😃😃😃..dil mein laddu nai jalebi phuta!!!
devilindisguise thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#19

Originally posted by: heckwidif



well yeah!!!...😃..dil mein laddu nai jalebi phuta!!!



lol
jaldi update more den
maverickmartin thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#20
This was good! Too big a speech for Khushi, just edit and cut it into paragraphs, it'll seem smaller. Just something I thought I should say.
Overall, good work! I especially like the bit "her sister is cute too". :D Write more, dear. :)

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