GOSSAMER - ArHi. COMPLETE - Page 6

Originally posted by: segad

i think you did justice to the scene but you need to do justice to the viewers as well.

I am sorry to say what I am going to but please consider it as constructive criticism.

White space is very important when writing. When presented with a 4 inch paragraph on screen in a size 12 or smaller font, and that paragraph contains dialogues from different characters, it becomes impossible for the eye to keep up. You look away for even a second, you loose your spot in the paragraph and it becomes next to impossible to find it again. It would be more reader friendly particularly as we are all reading virtually and not in print, to separate the dialogues from the different characters by spacing. Breaking into smaller paragraphs would also help.

Aside from this formatting change I think you are actually spot on in the story.

I hope you don't mind my suggestion

Thanks, love. I shall keep that in mind. And criticism is good! XO

This brother and sister could be stubborn like hell. When they understood something it's hard to make them show the real truth.
Loved Khusi and Arnav's convo before Arnav went to the room. She truly understand him like no other..
Yeah it took time but finally Anjali saw how a bast*** her husband is ..And god what she did to Khusi 😡 First the Arnav and now Anjali...
Oho no Khusi is planning to leave the house soon.. Hope Arnav will be able to stop her before that...

Loved the whole drama Hannah

This part was very very intense and deep! Well done!
The way Khushi made Arnav go and speak to his sister and then how Arnav told Anjali how Khushi is innocent was outstanding!

I just have one question, is Khushi gonna leave the house? Coz above where Arnav tells her not to leave the house, She goes from there and starts planning on how to leave the house! Please don't make her do that!

Anyways, continue soon! Though its needless to say so since you have been updating everyday! 🤗

I hate Shyam period!
Gosh.. such a bloody bas***d he is.. I really feel sad for Anjali.. :(
And I hope nothing goes wrong between Arnav and Khushi..
Please update soon :)
Rhea

oh man this blame game!! everyone is blaming themselves for what each one of them has had to endure!

Can i please get a chance of killing shyam! I have never ever ever hated anyone like i hate him!

How can someone be sooo mean and inconsiderate and selfish and what not!

One thing is for sure he has an obsession disorder! 🤣 Or else how can someone not feel anything when someone says such bad thing about them!

Will be waiting for the next part!! Can't wait for it! <3

filthy shyam... man he should rot in hell..


beautifully written.. enjoyed it a lot