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Hello, My name is Aanchal and I have been a silent reader until now. Due to the recent events in Ek Duje Ke Vaaste, it got me inspired to write this piece, as a way of my thoughts on how the track should end. I hope you guys enjoy it and please let me know in the comments about what you think.
ShraMan OS - Escape
I looked at him, the man I was about to marry waiting for me at the mandap. I always imagined my wedding day to be one of the happiest days of my life, the one day when all my struggles, all my hardships and all of my pain come to an end. But alas, as usual destiny had its own way and now I was trapped. I had to compromise, something I thought I would never do because I was Sumo', but since my marriage got fixed, my inner Sumo had gone somewhere, and had left me being only Suman. Suman, the name my parents gave me, the name that he never called me until now. When he named me Sumo, he made me aware of my inner strength, a strength which I had lost when I lost him. Whenever I imagined my future, it was with him. The name on my mehendi was meant to be Shravan, because the name in my heart was Shravan, not Aditya, only Shravan, and so I wrote Shravan, so that this time there was no confusion and no misunderstanding. I silently wished he could see my hands and could see that I love him, always and forever, but I couldn't, the only thing I could do was just hope that he could see that what I do is for him. I looked down at my lehenga, it wasn't what I wanted, much like this marriage, it was something I compromised with. I wanted a lehenga that was bright pink, to reflect the brightness of the day, but instead I wore a dark maroon outfit, something that Aditya chose, and as usual I was unable to deny him.
I looked at myself in the mirror, I lacked the glow that a bride's face should have, the glow that makeup couldn't bring, I looked like I was just told someone had died. I realised if I go through with this the Sumo deep within me will die. I will lose the Sumo's strength, Sumo's willpower, Sumo's determination. A life with Aditya would feel empty, I could never love Aditya. Hell, I wasn't even attracted to him. His touch felt wrong, it felt lifeless, whenever he touched me it didn't make me feel anything. We lacked chemistry, we lacked passion, we lacked fire. Suman didn't need that, Suman didn't care for passion, but Sumo, Sumo needed that, I needed that passion, I may be Suman, but Sumo was what made me, me. I looked at my reflection, Suman Tiwari should go ahead with this wedding, but should Sumo? Should the Sumo that said that she will always be Shravan's go ahead with this? Everyone got a second chance at love, so why couldn't they? Why did everything become so complicated when it came to them? Why couldn't we be together? What did we lack? We are always there for each other no matter how hurt we are by the other's actions. We look after each other, we care for each other, we love each other. Isn't that's all it takes, yes, he didn't trust me anymore, but I didn't try to prove myself to him, I was hurt, but he was broken. My pain was a mere scratch compared to his. Shouldn't I, as his best friend, and so-called' lover help him out of this. Shouldn't I, try to mend broken pieces. Shouldn't I try to save what we had, even though I knew he wouldn't. I loved him, and my love would be enough to save what we have, I will make sure it will. He may be strong-willed, but I am bloody stubborn, and I will not budge until I hold a strong fight. I will fight for us.
The realisation hits me, I cannot get married to Aditya, we both would be miserable, he deserves a girl that will cherish him for his goodness, something that I would never be able to do. I needed to do what Sumo would do, I couldn't let Sumo die, because without Sumo, Suman is useless. Sumo is the bright pink lehenga, that fills people with brightness and joy, and Suman is this maroon lehenga, that always sacrifices herself, a person that is weak to fight for her love. I am not weak, and it is time I show that to everyone, including Shravan. I break out of my reverie and realise that there's only 1 hour until the wedding and my female friends and relatives will be coming inside to look at me any second now, meaning whatever I did had to be quick, I had to run away, I needed to escape.
I texted Preeti to come inside my room, and she came running,
"What happened Di?!" she said breathing heavily
"I'm running away; I can't do this shaadi" I said confidently
"But the baraat is about to reach, you can't leave now"
"I have to Preeti, if I get married to Aditya I will ruin my life"
"Does Shravan know you are running away for him?"
"No, because I'm running away for myself not for him, I can't live without Shravan"
"What about Ramnath uncle?"
"I listened to Ramnath uncle because you were getting married, you are married now, he cannot ruin mine or Shravan's life anymore, I won't let him"
"Okay Di, since you aren't going to budge, what is the plan?"
"Are the Malhotra's here yet?"
"Yes they are, they came half an hour ago"
"Okay, I need to meet Shravan alone somewhere, can you make an excuse to send him back to his house, I will take it from there"
"Okay Di, but what about Aditya?"
"Don't worry about him, I'll look after it"
Preeti left to go and make Shravan go to the Malhotra Mansion. I needed to leave now so I used the secret passageway, through the storeroom to get out. I peeped out of the opening to see the guests coming, but I needed to get to my car somehow without getting caught. I hid behind the cars in the driveway, one hand holding my lehenga so that it stops tinkling and one hand clutching onto my car keys for dear life. Finally, after the passage was clear, I ran to my car, speeding off in the distance, it was now or never.
I got to Shravan's house within 10 minutes, and saw his car wasn't there, I decided to call Aditya, and tell him, because he shouldn't suffer the humiliation just because I was afraid to speak up. My hand was shaking as I looked for his number, I touched it, hoping this would end soon, he picked up instantly,
"Suman, don't say anything Preeti told me everything," he said in a tone of finality
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I wanted, but I didn't ever want to hurt you" I said crying
"Suman, please don't cry, it's okay, it happens, and I don't mind, because probably if I wasn't there, you probably would've never tried to reach out to Shravan, just promise me, that you would be happy marrying him, that is enough for me"
"I promise you, any girl who would marry you would be the luckiest girl in the world, I am so sorry once again and I promise you, that no matter what, I will still be here for you"
"Okay, I'll go and handle your family, you go and talk to Shravan"
"Thank you so much Aditya, you have no idea what you just did," I said as he hung up.
Shravan's car had just entered the driveway, and went inside. I ran after him as fast as I could, clutching my lehenga, as to not trip.
"SHRAVAN" I cried, looking around.
Shravan ran down the stairs, looking at me in shock, "Sumo? What are you doing here? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did someone say something to you?" He said coming close to me, holding my shoulders. "Sumo! Speak up dammit? What happened?"
My arms wound around his waist as if having a mind of their own, I put my head on his chest, right where his heart was, feeling the rhythmic beat in my ear, and at their own accord, tears starting falling down my cheeks onto his kurta. He wrapped his arms around me and I completely broke down whispering "sorry" as he caressed my hair. I stopped crying and wiped my tears and looked at him in the eyes,
"I broke your heart when I was 16, and at 26, I am so sorry and I regret every moment of it. I broke your trust in me, I broke our friendship, and I don't think you would believe me when I say this, but I need to say this, I love you Shravan Malhotra. When you left for London, you left me with an emptiness, and when you came back that emptiness was filled magically, when you fought for my house, I fell for you more, and as we became friends, I fell hard and now I cannot imagine my life without you. The only reason I agreed to marry Aditya was because Nirmala Aunty had brought his alliance to Nanu, and I was scared that he might get another heart attack if I said no, so I agreed because I couldn't be with you. Aditya also didn't buy me PCT, but told me he got me investors who were willing to fund PCT, and I met them a week ago, I am sorry that I let you believe whatever you did about me and Aditya, but trust me I never saw him more than as a friend, my heart belonged to you, always and forever."
He looked at me intently, as if he was processing each and every word I said, his eyes started to well up, and became redder, he withdrew his warm hands from my waist and stepped back, as cold air engulfed me again. For the first time in a long time I was scared, scared of losing him forever. He broke me out of my thoughts as his voice came out as a soft whisper, "Please say that you are saying the truth, I can't Sumo, I can't break again. Main poori tarah se toot chukka hoon, ab aur nahi toot na chahta. You have broken my heart twice before, please don't break it again, staying away from you, saying all those things to you, hurting you, was like a knife constantly stabbing me, I broke more and more, I can't do this anymore, I love you Sumo, Since I was 16, the only person I could think of marrying was you, I want to spend my life with you, but do you want to spend your life with me? I am broken Sumo, I can't trust you easily; I can't trust anyone easily, I need time, can you give me time?"
Tears started to roll down both our cheeks, I stepped towards him, going onto my tiptoes to reach his face. I wiped his tears with my thumbs, and his hands instinctively rested at my waist. I looked at him directly in his eyes, I saw pain and suffering in them and I knew it was all because of me.
"Shravan, I know that whatever I have done, you would not be able to trust me again, and promise me, I hate myself so much for that, I know that you won't believe me but I felt helpless, the decision to marry Aditya was nothing more than a compromise, a means to save Nanu's life, nothing more than that. I know I caused us a lot of pain, but I will try and mend everything I broke; including your heart, even if it will take me our entire life, I promise to love you every moment, every second, every minute to make up for all the pain and heartbreak I gave you, I am sorry Shravan, I am so sorry" I said crying profusely.
"Shhh, Sumo, I have hurt you as well, I broke your heart as well, but please trust me, I didn't know how else to deal with the pain, I didn't know that you loved me, I just wanted to protect myself, and I said so many hurtful things to you, I am so sorry. We both have hurt each other, and we both need to move on. Sumo, I may not have been the perfect best friend, but I will try my very best to be the perfect husband. Suman Tiwari, I believe that we need to work on our relationship first, but, do you promise that you will marry me, wearing your mother's wedding jewellery, and the bright pink lehenga you always wanted, and the brightness in your face to hope for a new beginning?"
"Shravan Malhotra, I will eagerly wait for the day when I will be yours forever, I promise to marry you and be by your side forever."
We looked into each other eyes, my gaze went to his forehead, to his tear stricken cheeks, taking him in, he looked tired, tired of fighting. I saw how his eyes were red, and how his beard had gotten darker, and how he had dark circles underneath his eyes. I saw how his lips curved into a small smile, and I saw how exhausted he looked. My hands started to caress his cheeks and I felt his grip on me tighten, bringing me closer. He leaned down, and I reached up, closing my eyes. Within seconds his lips covered my own creating havoc within me, one of my hands swooped down to his chest while the other clutched the back of his head deepening the kiss. His lips felt soft and magical, we continued moving our lips together, finding a rhythm. I let out a moan as his pulled my bottom lip with his teeth and then slid his tongue into my mouth. Our hands grew frantic as we fought for dominance. His hands that were at my bare waist, moved to my stomach, creating a trail of fire in his path, my hands went around his neck, feeling his back. We pulled back, in need of air, but our hands still clutched each other in need of dear life. "I love you Sumo" he whispered.
"I love you Shravan" I replied, smiling. I had found my escape, I was finally free, now that I was with him.
