dilemma of the confused NRI ?

The dilemma of a NRI...

I think most NRIs are quite used to what is happening in India and hope that things can change for the better.

While there is a basis of truth in it, I always find the notion of a confused NRI or the ABCD to be a concept that has been stretched, overused and exaggerated well beyond what it should be. In fact it often seems that this confused NRI or ABCD concept comes from how some Indians perceive other Indians should be, but not from actual confusion a person genuinely feels.

Yes, there definitely is a certain sense of confusion and identity crisis involved. But is that not true of anytime when a balancing act between two or more cultures is involved. This is not an immigrant or NRI exclusive problem, nor do the two cultures need to be starkly contradicting. Even a simple marriage, within the same caste, creed, community, et all creates a balancing act as the married couple seek balance between their backgrounds.

When people immigrate from one country to another, they have perform a similar balancing act. It is just the scale that differs and each individual adapts differently. Some people will always appear not Indian enough or not adapted enough. I find myself doing that too assuming people are to rigidly Indian, or excessively western – but I have to step back and realize each person has their own comfort zone with the culture balance. To some a second/third generation American Indian may seem unaware of Indian culture – and we may label them as confused. However, from their perspective they are well aware of their identity and comfortable with how Indian/American they are. To NRI's a first generation or FOB may seem too awkward, dazed and confused, ill adjusted. However, from their perspective they are happy being very set in their Indian ways. Besides how is all this any different from generations within India itself who are adapting to western ways. A lot of times I feel that friends back home in India have gotten far more westernized than some generations here.

Addressing a few specific points this blog raises – there is no surer sign of being confused than blindly loving ones country without any constructive criticism. That means they are confused about good/bad, right/wrong and what is best for their country. Of course Indians all over the love and miss their homeland. But is there any reason they should not criticize the corruption, the red tape, the poverty and other challenges faced by the county. Shouldn't anyone who loves their country be concerned with the negatives and critique it? How is that confusion or conflict? I see that as patriotism. Even here in America, people take pride in their country and what it stands for – but speak out against the negatives. All countries have pros and cons and those who don't speak out against the negatives or dislike them are the ones misguided.

Also just because someone is living in a foreign country, in touch with all modern facilities and amenities does not mean that they should cut all ties with their roots. The beauty of the modern world and democracy is that most of us live in free countries that support diversity of culture. Its not just us Indians but Latinos, Africans, Europeans, Asians, Russians all sorts of ethnicities and cultural groups that receive modern education and live modern progressive western influenced lives but still take pride in our culture. Its not confusion, conflict or hypocrisy its taking pride in roots, nothing wrong in that.

The only major conflict as Souro pointed out is the sexual liberty of the Kamasutra contrasted with the balk at sex talk mind frame of many Indians. That is because for some reason over time our society was conditioned to treat sex as a taboo. Even if someone wants to openly discuss it, they fear societal taboo and it remains a taboo. Funnily, much of the sexual conservatism displayed in India is a result of Christian influence during the British era, prior to that our ancestors were not as coy. Its not as much confusion that stems this paradox as much as conditioning and fear. Even funnier is how Indians who do try to open up about sex are labeled as too western or enamored by the west by other Indians. Times are changing though. As each generation of Indians passes, the perception of sex changes. Actually with each passing generation, culture as a whole evolves and changes.