'Daya's b'day - Story Entries (Voting Open Now) - Page 7

I'll write my reviews as and when i read. Sorry my reviews are too brief. I am reading in a hurry, because the time given is so less. The story which is easiest to understand and requires the least effort to visualize will get more marks from me this time.


Story 1: This was a bit too straightforward and short. Maybe you could have added some more masala and twists and made it longer. The opening scene has been copy pasted from the theme. You could have created circumstances like that instead of copying it. Anyway nice attempt. 6/10




Story 2


Lots of ideas but turned into a soup. I could find a major loophole. But avoiding posting here so that others don't get biased. If they don't find it on their own is not fair for them to find it because of my feedback. 😆 7/10

Story 3:

Nice exciting start to the story. Loved how the team pretended to ignore Daya's bday and sent him off. 😛 Also nice to see the dumb girl accidentally discovering Daya, rather than having ACP's mobile number in her own memory. 😆

Daya kidnapping a minister? Reminded me of one of my own stories.

The bomb defusing scene was a bit FWish.

Your stylish English is a pleasure to read, but at times for me the hang of the story gets lost in the language and style. Especially while reading in a hurry.

Overall, nice story. 😊

8/10

Story 4:

This story is really long!

The clues hidden in the gun are good.

Just that when you write, please use double spacing. It's tough to read with so less gap between the lines. It causes eye strain.

Then you need to try and keep the spellings right...like Sachin instead of sacchan, Nikhil instead of Nikhal, Purvi instead of Purve.

It's a bit surprising how Daya took Freddie's smartphone and didn't ask him what the screenlock password was. This is something which even you and I will do when we borrow someone else's mobile. You very critically analyse everyone's stories, so let me ask you.😈 ? 😆

I also noticed that both writer 4 and writer 2 separated Daya's mobile from him. This is a coincidence.

The last few scenes, action etc had FW flavour. (Even our IF writers are getting it, isn't it? 😆)

Honestly I like to read your contest stories. (you know why...😛) You didn't injure anyone or make anyone cry. So thanks for that.

7/10

Story 5:

Very easy to get a hang of the story especially when I am reading in a hurry. 😊 This is very important.

Now does CID team still use that crackling radio in times of mobile phones? (Not sure...😆)

Then the story suddenly jumped from Monday to Thursday...why? 😕

The kidnap of Daya reminded me of Daya abduction. 😆

It was anyway good to see Daya freeing himself. 😊

8.5/10

Entry 1 - A good attempt but the story is hurried up. I think the writer is new so there is a lot of chance for you to improve. Will be looking for more stories from you 😃

Rate - 7/10

Entry 2 - It gives a feeling that writer wants had something else in mind but ended up in something else. Govind part gave it a real touch. Bringing back the boy from Traitors in CID was different, though it gave away the writer if i am guessing who it is right 😛

Rate - 8/10

Entry 3 - A very well written story. The AK-47 wasn't taken as a gun by the writer and that gave the story a complete different and new look. Liked it. Though in some places i felt the description is elaborate and in some hurried at first place. I liked the confetti mishappen with dcp, made me laugh real hard 😆

Rate - 9/10

Entry 4 - New information about silver wolverine and the code was the part i liked most. Though couldn't understand the motive of first AK 47 pic with words written in it. The other code and the meaning looked a far fetched too. But the overall duo investigation and daya's disguise and abhijeet's understanding comes in my most favourite list. So liked the overall attempt.

Rate - 8.5/10

Entry 5 - Very straight forward story. But the presentation is nice. I got a little confused with code breaking scene, it looked like them already knew the code and explaining what meant what. It may be my misunderstanding though.

Rate - 8/10

Story 1: Very simple story. Nice attempt.
Rate : 6/10

Story 2: Nice story. I think Bagu Chomisza probably died..so his gang 😕 I like the ending duo convo 😃
Rate : 7.5/10

Story 3: Good one.

Story 4:Very long story...I read this one at last 😛 Coding is very good. Overall good one,

Story 5: Frankly speaking I enjoyed this one a lot. 😃
'Outside the bureau, thrusday 2.15am' ...I think its - Monday 😕
I love the starting scene & coding of number plate.
Good job !!!