Episode 395: The Revenge of the CVs
This, folks, is in fact exactly what it was. After we had all spent hours and hours, and covered pages and pages dissecting the goings on in the mahaepisode threadbare, and conducting linguistic excavations to unearth insults and imprecations good (or bad) enough for Bindusara, what happens?
The CVs turn the kaleidoscope upside down, and lo and behold, Bindusara, from being a doltish, brain-dead ingrate and an egomaniac of the first order, suddenly becomes a Santa Claus-cum-Love Guru.
A bhashan on marriage: It was really cruel and unusual punishment to have to listen to him drone on and on about the secret of a successful marriage, though he should at least have had a lot of field experience, having contracted 7 of them at the last known count. đ
The only person around who seemed to share my feelings about this oral marriage manual was Sushim. He looked bored stiff and was looking at his daddy dearest in patent bewilderment, as well he might. Siamak looked as he always does, which is to say blank . Ashoka, who was probably internally rehearsing how to turn down the expected choice of Anandini for him, seemed almost unconcerned.
Kaurwaki, after the demoralising session with Anandini at her bitchy worst, looked woebegone. I could not spot her, but I am sure that Devi, in her capacity as Kaurwaki's alter ego, was looking even more depressed, like the undertaker's assistant, who always looks more mournful than the undertaker.đ
An abundance of sachcharine: By the time we got to the end of the disquisition on marriage, my sole hope was that we were not going to have more sugar syrup poured all over us. Some hope! Once poor Chanda had been chosen for Sushim, we were in for it. It is a good thing I am not diabetic, for the treacle was in abundance as Bindusara waxed eloquent about the numerous shresth gun of his bahu-to-be.
Much of it was quite true, as that she thinks of nothing and nobody when it comes to standing up for Ashoka. I could almost hear MDS clapping as Bindusara lavished high praise on Kaurwaki for having dared to tell the truth regarding Ashoka - and having berated him, the Samrat, soundly - regardless of convention. đđ
I could also hear the audible gnashing of teeth across the EDTđ when he added that he should have realised 10 years earlier that she was the ideal wife for Ashoka, because she had helped him in Takshashila! Sandhya dear, you must have been breathing deeply, in and out, so as not to burst a blood vessel! đ
By now, Kaurwaki was displaying all her pearly whites, like the ad for Colgate with namak, and crying at the same time. Ashoka, having finally shelved his planned rejection speech for Anandini, let his facial muscles relax a bit and his eyes light up. Dharma was having a private thanksgiving session with the Almighty. Sushim and Siamak looked as if they had been poleaxed, and Charumitra as if she had had a dose of extra kadva kaada.
The climax of this sachcharine show came with the Great Embrace, and Ashoka finally got what he had craved for a long, long time. He looked so happy that I even forgave Bhondusar for having tried my patience all this while with his over long speechifying and his overdone benevolence!
But then the triple decker hug seemed to go on and on, threatening to overtake even the 3:33 minute Ashoka-Kaurwaki aalingan at the end of the play. Luckily, the editor ran out of time, and they went for the fade out!đ
The Siren Song: OK, now on to the best bit of the evening. This was the sight of Sushim melting visibly, like a marshmallow left out in the sun, at the very touch of the Greek siren's hand.
Ankit was simply marvellous in the build up to the moment when Sushim's voice, till then so aggressive, falls a full octave as soon as Lassandra, her hand on his arm, stops him from advancing. There is a first a sudden freezing of his whole body, then a look upward to make sure that this is really true, and then the instant softening of his voice, his stance, the whole works.
When he asks her how Siamak's proposal of looting the treasury would help them bring Ashoka down, the voice is now amazingly subdued, like that of an eager but submissive pupil seeking answers from his teacher. And finally, his warm admiration for her nutty plan - adbhut! - is reinforced by the look in his eyes as they scan the purple dress, and presumably its contents, from bottom to top with patent approval. Sushim is, clearly, a goner.
As for Siamak, his initial KKHH now reinforced by his total dependence on her advice - he actually asks her why he has to go to Takshashila! - he is as putty in her hands.
To sum up, while the nymph Circe, she of the Siren songs, used to turn the seamen, lured by the songs to shipwreck and then captivity on her island, into pigs, apni Lassandra has turned this duo into a pair of nice woolly sheep!đ Sheep that, to judge from the look in her eyes when they are not looking at her, are almost ready for the shearing.
An enigma: I do not know what to make of her plan to rob the Magadha treasury, which she offers as if it was as simple as pinching toffees from a confectionery store. It has so many holes that it bears a strong resemblance to Swiss cheeseđ, but this does not strike our besotted duo while their preceptress beams at them with her toothy smile.
Lassandra herself remains, to borrow from Winston Churchill, an enigma wrapped in a mystery. Her actions could be interpreted in two, or even more totally different ways. Par jaise doodh ka jala chaach bhi phoonk phoonk kar peeta hai, the experience with the CVs tonight makes me totally disinclined to speculate at length about her, her motives, and her true intentions. Let us just wait and watch.
Just one thing: if she is to be a fixture for the present, I hope the CVs will fork out at least 2 more dresses for her, preferably in gold and emerald green. To have to stare at this purple one for weeks on end will be a bit too much!đ
A hard edge: I was pleased to see that Ashoka had surfaced rapidly from the setback of the day before and was coolly planning to put paid to Siamak's existence at the earliest feasible, so as to nip in the bud his potential for mischief in Takshashila The hard lines of his face as he says that Siamak ne apni mrityu ko aamantrit kiya hai, reinforce this impression.
Fervent hopes: Finally, after having had the delightful prospect of Kaurwaki being shipped off to Kalinga dangled before the forum last night, to see everything turned upside down tonight must have been an awful letdown. Whence, undoubtedly, the fervent hopes being pinned on Kaurwaki's father, expected to arrive soon and, hopefully, put a spoke in the wheel of the Ashoka-Kaurwaki romance (I detest Ashwaki!). As for me, as I do not care either way - Kaurwaki, or Devi, or even nothing - I am safe, and can watch all this fretting with tolerant understanding!
Shyamala/Aunty
Edited by sashashyam - 9 years ago
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