All the beaches of Dwarika, as Yashoda had found, were laden with rocks. The ocean threw itself relentlessly against the unwavering rocks, almost as if it wanted to swallow this pretty island whole. Still, she went down there whenever the din of the palace became too overwhelming. Even though at first she had been somewhat afraid upon witnessing the apparent hostility of the sea god, the constant susurration of the ocean rising and falling had proved to be strangely comforting. With each passing day, Yashoda found herself spending more and more time sitting on the beach observing the citizens go about their day.
Even though she was technically a queen, Yashoda found greater comfort among the common people who frequented the beaches. She would watch, fascinated, as the fishermen would tug along their long boats over the rocks, into the sea, and disappear for the day. "Godspeed!" She would call out to the nearest man as they would wave out to her on their way out. Yashoda would sit on the rocks watching, as their boats swam up and down as the turbulent sea carried them away. Once the boats were gone, Yashoda would take a stroll along the beach, casually surfing the little shops nestled on one side.
One morning, she spotted a young woman sitting on the street under a makeshift canopy with jewellery of pearls laid out before her. A long single-strand necklace made of ivory pearls caught Yashoda's eye. She perched down beside the woman. Picking up the necklace, she held it against her neck, checking out her reflection in a small mirror that the woman had erected in one corner of her little shop.
"It suits you greatly, Madam!" The girl smiled encouragingly.
Yashoda smiled and nodded, "Say would you exchange that for this one?" She said as she unhooked and held out her gold necklace.
The girl took the necklace to inspect, but dropped it the next moment as if it were burning, "I cannot take this Ma'am, it's real gold!"
"So what?" Yashoda inquired, "Where I am from, your pearls are worth much more than that!"
"Might be true, but Madam, if I take this home, they'll call me a thief! They gave Lord Krishna a chance to explain himself, I might not be that lucky!"
Yashoda shook her head, cursing herself internally for not having considered the possibility. She said in a small voice, "Could you then put this aside for me, please? I don't have any money on me now, but I promise I'll come and get this. I come here often, Niryama the sailor knows me!"
"I'll keep it till nightfall. Pay and get it if you like." The girl replied in a cautious tone.
Yashoda shook her head as she continued on her stroll, promising herself to never forget her purse again.
---
That afternoon, as Yashoda walked lazily along the seashore her long gold necklace gleaming against the golden sun dawdling across the sky, a warm amber hue caressed her dark skin. The beach was empty for as far as the eye could see. Yashoda wondered if the shore was cleared out on account of the arrival of the princess who was now happily skipping away in front of her, kicking up a storm of dust over the sharp rocks with every footstep.
"Oi," She called out to the young princess, "Tell me, Dwarika is better or Mathura?"
Subhadra smiled as she turned back, "It's peaceful here. Truth be told, I do not miss Mathura." Her smile turned downcast, "Here, I don't wake up or go to bed with anxiety. Prayers for the safety of my brothers do not keep me up at night. Here, I can go to bed without a knife under my pillow. Oh God," She drew in a sharp breath, "Let me never go through such a war again! Here, everybody knows someone who lost something. I would literally die if I ever lose anyone like that."
"I apologize, my dear," Yashoda looked down, "I did not realize you carried such weight in your heart. I would never have mentioned this otherwise!"
"There's no need for that." Subhadra shook her head, "How were you supposed to know? I try not to let it be obvious. Rama and Krishna both worry if I am not happy. It's hard maintaining the cheer around here." A bright smile returned to her face, "Never mind me! How come you have never gone swimming in the ocean with the other ladies? Are you afraid?"
Yashoda grinned, "A little. The waves do seem to get pretty big at times-" She stopped. In the distance, a tall, dark man, wearing lemon yellow garments, approached. He was adorned in gold, peacock feathers fluttering slightly in the wind, tethered to strands of silky black locks. The man walked up to Yashoda and stopped right in front of her. She could feel Subhadra's gaze darting to and fro between her and the man's faces.
Turning to Subhadra he smiled warmly, "I just saw Father and Rama going over a list of princes. Go see if they fixed your marriage already!"
"If you want privacy, just say that," Subhadra made a face, "All you doing right now is ensuring that I mix sand in your food!" She taunted.
"Get going!" He shooed her, chuckling.
As Subhadra's silhouette vanished towards the palace, Yashoda looked at Krishna more intently. The sun's rays had taken on a reddish hue that made the jewels adorning his dark body gleam desperately. He slowly bent down to touch her feet.
"I must apologize," He whispered, his expression now grim, "I should have come sooner."
Yashoda drew a deep breath. She could feel her throat closing out of emotions that threatened to burst out right that second. She touched his shoulder, and then she let her fingers run down along a long-running scar. "This wasn't here before." She managed to say, "Last time I saw you, you were as tall as me, now look at you!"
"It has been a long time," Krishna smiled, but the hint of sadness remained.
"You grew up." She whispered.
"You, somehow, did not get old!" Said Krishna, causing them both to break into laughter. The apprehension on both sides seemed less apparent, although it remained, cowering behind their smiles.
"Maybe I was too hasty in saying that you grew up," She joked back.
With the tension somewhat broken, she took his arm as he led her along the beach to a bigger rock standing in the middle of the beach. Reaching in front of it, Krishna knelt before her. Yashoda looked at him somewhat incredulously, "You want me to climb that?"
"It's a good vantage point. That's where I go to sit when I crave a good sunset!" Krishna smiled.
"I am getting old, you know," she said as she clambered over the rock with some difficulty, "No! Keep your charms to yourself, I really am!"
Krishna, who had propped down beside her, put his arms around her neck. Almost like a child, he whispered, "No, you're not!"
Yashoda's face fell as her smile disappeared behind a thick film of tears forming in her eyes. Removing his hands from around her, she said, "Seventeen years, Kanha! For seventeen years you left me alone. Not even a single letter! All that doesn't go away with a cute face and a hug!"
"I had no choice," Krishna sighed.
"Why not? Your brother managed!" She said angrily. Now that the emotions from the first encounter had worn out, Yashoda felt a wave of anger and hurt wash over her. Painful memories from the past couple of decades flooded her at once.
"You left, Kanha, casting not a single glance backwards! You killed Kamsa, then you moved on. We were the ones you left behind! I can even understand you not writing to us, but what about your friends? Girlfriends? You just left them, and never came back! Your friends cried their hearts out for weeks, and you never even wrote to them!"
"I couldn't," Krishna whispered.
"Why not, Krishna?" Yashoda pressed. Her anger wouldn't let her stop, even though her eyes recognized the hurt in Krishna's.
"Because, Maiya, it would've been as good as walking into my enemies' lairs and marking off Vrindavana in bright red ink! I couldn't put you, or Baba, or anyone else in harm's way just because I missed you!" Krishna drew a sharp breath, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice." He whispered.
Yashoda gently touched his face, her anger dissipating at the sight of Krishna's sullen face, "I'm sorry too, I do understand all that. You should've trusted that we'd have taken care of ourselves though! You did not have to carry that burden all by yourself!"
Krishna and Yashoda sat quietly staring at the blank horizon, their breaths rising and falling with the waves of the ocean.
After a long time, Krishna broke the silence, "We missed the sunset." Yashoda looked up at the horizon. The sun had long set, and now only a pale salmon glow remained to tell the tale.
"We'll have another." She said.
"No, the rest of the week is going to be stormy, and then you go back." Krishna's face was inscrutable.
"Do you want me to stay longer?"
Krishna stared at her for a long time. "No," he said eventually, "I hope you understand."
Yashoda didn't say anything. Instead, she laid her head on his shoulder, caressing his arm gently as they both quietly stared into the darkening horizon.
Eventually, the stars came out. The waves glowed in the moonlight. Still unrelenting.
Yashoda sighed, "I hope you don't think that I only thought of those who were left behind. I also thought about you. How we at least had one another, but you, and Rama...you were all alone. Then the war started. I would stay awake all night, in case you called unto us. I remember the day when Akroora came again, this time asking us to come to Dwarika." She smiled fondly, "Your Baba then said that we had a duty to the land of Mathura. Someone had to stay back, and we chose us. Your Baba had called for a vote, I still remembered how every single person voted to stay. Even though they all had a chance to go with you, they all stayed. They said they wanted to protect your childhood knowing that you couldn't."
"I am forever indebted to them, Maiya, you know that I am!" Krishna said.
"I am not trying to convince you to return Krishna, you belong here!"
Krishna laughed derisively, "Is it bad that when you said I belonged here, I could immediately think of ten different reasons why I definitely do not?" He shook his head, "Only today, I spent three hours debating what colour we should paint the walls of the parliament! Seventeen years of non-stop battles, building a new kingdom from scratch, and I get to decide what colour we paint the freaking walls?!"
Yashoda stared at her son. She had suspected this for a long time. Here it was, the crack beneath the plaster!
Krishna sat with his head held in his hands, his breathing heavy with emotion, "My wife will not speak to me because she thinks I abandoned the search for my missing son. When I ask the cabinet, they tell me that my son is not in their freaking budget! I give half my life to them, and this is the thanks!" On Krishna's face, there was a manic smirk, "I can't go back, and I can't stay here, so tell me, Maiya, then what the hell do I do?"
Before her eyes, Yashoda saw a sobbing little boy, who would come running into her arms, away from the groups of older boys teasing him, rather than the distressed young man who sat pressing his temple nursing an obvious headache. Alas, this time she could not just scare off everyone who had upset her son. Yashoda composed herself. She had always been good in crises.
Yashoda cupped Krishna's palms in hers, "Then, you get the hell out of here. No-" She stopped Krishna, "Not forever, but you need a break. You're no help to anyone in this state. So, here's what you're going to do: you will plan a trip out of here, and you will take your wife with you. When you're back, you will march into that parliament and make them hear you. If they don't like you, then you will make them fear you." She caressed his face illuminated slightly in the starlight, "And, when you are done with all that, for god's sake, get a friend!"
Yashoda jumped down from the rock. She looked up at her son, "I am extending my visit by a month whether you like it or not, and you will now walk me to that little shop over there and buy me the necklace I want."
Krishna sat dumbfounded for a second as he watched his mother walk away determinedly, before smiling to himself and hurrying down behind her.
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