It's not that we did not expect Alec Baldwin's roast was going to be brutal but these excerpts from the roast will actually prove how crazy it was. According to Variety, Alec Baldwin
was burned by comedians, athletes, Robert De Niro and even his own daughter at his Comedy Central Roast, which was taped on Saturday night at the Saban Theatre in Los Angeles. But another person on the dais served as a lightning rod for just as many of the barbs.
Caitlyn Jenner, who turned up to help roast the man of the hour, was the subject of some of the most savage jabs, mostly revolving around her transition, politics and famous family. A brief sampling of the night’s best zingers:
Nikki Glaser: “Stevie Wonder sees his sons more than you do. I know being a new mom is hard, but even Casey Anthony knows the current location of her daughter.”
Chris Redd: “You’re against gay marriage, you voted for Trump. You’re like the Auntie Tom of the trans community.”
De Niro: “There’s something different about you, I just can’t put my finger in it.”
Jenner, however, took it in stride. After she joked about having simply “retired” her male genitalia after raising 10 children, she gave an impassioned response to all the jokes at the end of her set.
“I’m not perfect,” she said. “I’m a person trying to figure out my life, just like everyone else. All I want is for future generations of transgender people to know that if I can find the courage to be who I am, then you can too. If you have a problem with that, then you can suck my d—. If you can find it!”
Baldwin, of course, received his fair share of hits too — aimed at everything from his temper to his 26-year age difference with wife Hilaria. Baldwin family drama was another subject that served as fodder for the roasters. After being the subject of several jokes throughout the night (many revolving around Alec’s infamous voicemail in which he called his daughter, Ireland, a “rude, thoughtless little pig”), Ireland Baldwin appeared on stage to tell her own side of the story. “After years of giving verbal abuse, it’s finally time you receive some,” she said.
Joking that she knows Alec as “the guy from like, half of my birthday parties,” she also referenced her mother, Kim Basinger, in a jab at her father. “It hasn’t been easy being the daughter of an iconic movie star, but I’m not here to talk about my mother,” she said. “Or her Oscar. Or her continued respect in this industry.”
The set seemed to be all in good fun; the father and daughter hugged afterward and Ireland briefly sat next to Alec on the stage before returning to the crowd.
De Niro was another common target, as the comedians relished his icon status — and the less prestigious roles he’s taken over the years, as well as his age.
“Is this the same Robert De Niro that did ‘Little Fockers’ and ‘Dirty Grandpa’?” asked the night’s Roast Master, Sean Hayes. “I can’t wait for someone to make you an offer you can refuse. Alec Baldwin needs anger management like Robert De Niro needs better management.”
“You have a big movie coming out with Al Pacino and Joe Pesci,” said Caroline Rhea, referencing his upcoming Martin Scorsese drama “The Irishman.” “It’s three and a half hours long. Is it just about you guys trying to pee?”
De Niro, for his part, acknowledged that a Comedy Central roast might be above his pay grade. “I know, I know,” he began his set. “What the f— am I doing here?” He later got topical, making a Woody Allen joke (“[Alec Baldwin’s] quintessential New York. Kind of like Woody Allen, except Alec only screamed at his daughter, and Woody, well…”) and later taking aim at Trump.
“Alec, it’s been a privilege playing Robert Mueller to your Donald Trump,” he said. “You are an arrogant a–hole and tonight, we’ve all gotten to say that. I just wish Mueller had roasted Trump as frankly and ferociously as we roasted you.”
The Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin” will air on Sept. 15.