The Dark Before The Dawn - A Nazar/PiyAnsh FF (Completed) - Page 14

Chapter - 07

“Where are we going Bua?” “Alibag.” Piya started feeling uneasy. Of all the places Neha had to choose this one particular spot! “But Neha it’s quite far from here. Adi and Pari have school tomorrow.” “Oh come on bhabhi! One of them is in standard one and another one is in three. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if they miss school for one day. Right kids?” “Right!!!” “Besides bhabhi, it’s been so long since we have met. Loosen up a little. The last time you couldn’t even go there.”

“Mumma! have you been to Alibag before?” Adi asked Piya. “We went there on a college trip.” “But mumma and I never got to go there.” Ansh tried to catch a glimpse of Piya through the rear-view mirror. She was visibly uncomfortable. “Why papa?” Pari was curious. “Well, our bus broke down on the way and we got lost in the jungle. However, it gave us ample time to talk; or I should say listen to your mumma’s nonstop chattering.” Ansh started laughing. Piya was surprised. Ansh looked genuinely cheerful. They have always behaved normally in front of the kids but today it felt different. She felt like her old Ansh was back. But was it really happening or it was just her wishful thinking? Did her loneliness made her imagine everything?

“What happened next papa?” “Well, we were attacked in the jungle and….” “And you saved mumma just like they show in movies!” Pari exclaimed. “Quite the opposite beta. Your mumma had saved me.” Ansh looked at Piya but before she could notice, he shifted his gaze towards the road. “But she got severely injured. So instead of going to Alibag, we returned home.”

“How come you have never told us about this mumma?” Pari was surprised. “It was a long time ago Pari.” Piya tried to end the topic. “Is everything alright bhabhi? You are really quiet today.” “It’s nothing Neha. Just a mild headache.” “Should we go back then?” Ansh was worried. Neha glared at him and tried to handle the matter. “We are almost there bhai. We have already made the reservation. I’ll handle the kids and bhabhi can take rest in her room. It’ll take more time to go back.” “Neha is right Ansh. The kids are really excited. Let them enjoy themselves. I’ll be fine.”

After they had reached Alibag, Piya went to their room and Ansh was standing on the lobby. “What are you waiting for? Go talk to her.” “Can’t you see she is not feeling well?” “Oh God! Why did you have to make my brother so dumb! Do you seriously think bhabhi couldn’t understand our plan? We planned Alibag, talked about your budding romance in front of your kids and you think she didn’t suspect anything? Anyway, go to your room and talk to her. Don’t tell me now that you are nervous.” “I am not. I just don’t want to pressurize her considering she is actually sick.” “That’s my brother! She fell in love with this sensitive side of yours. Go and help her remember that.” Neha hugged Ansh to assure him and went to the kids’ room to take them out. Ansh took a deep breath and prepared himself. “Calm down Ansh! It’s gonna be alright!”

Piya was standing on the balcony when Ansh entered into their room. His heart skipped a bit when he looked at her. There was something unusual about her posture. More than a person, she looked like sadness personified. Cold wind was blowing and Ansh noticed Piya was shivering a little. He went near her and was about to take off his jacket when Piya said, “Let it be Ansh! I have my shawl with me.” It was then when Ansh noticed the piece of cloth over her. “You are shivering Piya. You’ll catch a cold. At least move aside. The wind here is too cold.” Piya shifted her gaze towards Ansh and a smile crept across her face. She said nothing and moved inside. Ansh felt hopeless. He had shown much confidence in front of Neha but now he started feeling restless, unsure of whether he could express himself in front of Piya or not.

“It’s okay Ansh! You don’t need any excuse to start a conversation with me.” Ansh turned around and found Piya to be sitting on the bed and smiling at him. “How did you know that I want to say something?” He looked at her with surprise. “Perhaps I am still habituated to understanding your unspoken words.” Piya looked lost but she controlled herself rather quickly. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Neha planned everything all of a sudden. Is there anything you want to share with me?” Ansh didn’t understand what to say in response to that. So he decided to tell her the truth. “You are right! I have something to tell you.” He knelt down in front of Piya. “What is it?” “I am sorry Piya! I am sorry for everything I have put you through, sorry for being an inconsiderate ass that I kept making you feel unwanted, sorry for not standing up for what was right and sorry for not fighting for our love.”

Ansh tried hard to compose himself yet a lone tear escaped his eyes. “I know I have hurt you a lot. But the truth is, whatever I have done so far, my intention was to protect you.” Ansh took a deep breath and continued, “I was very young when my papa died. I couldn’t even understand why I was left all alone and then Vedashree maa accepted us. So I have always felt indebted to her. But when I was growing up, I realized I wasn’t like others. I may have gotten my powers when I was 21 but even before that, maa was always afraid of what I might become. No matter how much they tried to hide the fact, I could always understand that directly or indirectly, I was responsible for their worries.” He paused for a moment. “You felt devastated because despite your efforts, I couldn’t ever fully accept myself. But that’s not true. When you came into my life, everyone was relieved that a Daivik had entered in our lives and would protect me from everything. But more than being happy, I felt guilty. Because I thought somewhere along the line, a big reason for you to accept me was the Daivik-Daavansh connection. I thought, just like maa accepted me and was deprived of the love of her own children, the same way, you accepted me partly because of your destiny. I felt I was the biggest hurdle to your happiness; probably your true love was out there somewhere but you got married to me because you were supposed to do that as a Daivik.” Ansh looked  down to hide his tears. “I could only confess my love when I thought I was changing. I know it was selfish of me to bind you in a relationship; specially when I was sure that there was no way out for me. But I couldn’t stop myself. I had to tell you how much I loved you before my soul was engulfed by darkness. But the moment you told me that you loved me, it changed my life. I didn’t see any compulsion in your eyes. All I could see was yourl ove and determination to save me. You weren’t scared of anything and more importantly, you weren’t bothered about my bloodline. Your love made me believe that I was worth saving; that I had a shot at happiness with you.” Ansh looked at Piya with a bright smile.

“But then, I tried to get close and you almost lost your life.” Ansh’s expression changed. “It wasn’t your fault Ansh! We both know it was Mohana’s ploy and Dilruba only took advantage of the situation.” Piya tried to comfort Ansh. “I know. For a long time, I tried to assure myself with the same explanation.” Ans hhad a faint smile. “But every time when we were happy and decided to move forward, something terrible happened. You gave me the greatest gift of my life - Adi and Pari. But I had to leave you alone because that was the only way to protect you. My relation with Mohana gave her advantage and endangered your lives. Not just Mohana, even Karan was my brother and he almost petrified you. No matter how much I tried to ignore it, circumstances kept reminding me how my association with you only caused you pain. And I couldn’t be a good husband either. My sense of indebtedness clouded my judgement. I threw you out of my life over and over again because I was more concerned about my family’s safety.”

Piya heaved a sigh but didn’t say anything. She could feel Ansh’s pain but what about her? She couldn’t blame him for loving his family more. Neither could she hold a grudge against him for being scared of his power. But no amount of explanation could appease her or fill the void in her life.

“I know you are angry with me for leaving you alone and endangering our kids’ lives. But at that time I was only thinking about Angad. I should have been more careful or found another way to protect our family. But in my desperation to save them, I caused more harm. And when I thought about all the incidents when you fell in danger because of me, I thought, this might be the only way to protect all of you from the misfortune that my existence brought into your lives.” Ansh stooped for a few seconds and continued, “When you had left me, I finally realized how I made you feel all these years. How much it hurts when someone you love throws you away from her life. I know I have done wrong with you, with our kids. But staying apart isn’t gonna help either of us. We’ll be miserable without each other. Please give me another chance so that I can make it up to you.”

Tears started rolling down Piya’s cheeks and she hugged Ansh tightly. “You don’t know for how long I have waited to hear these words from you Ansh! But now when you have finally said it, it just made me feel more pathetic.” Ansh was stunned. “My love could never make you confident Ansh but your love has finally made me selfish. Now I can differentiate between reality and fantasy.” “What are you saying Piya!!!” “I left your house months ago. Cried myself to sleep every night with a hope that when I woke up, I would find you beside me and realize that everything had been a bad dream. Every moment I wished for you to return to me and rebuke me for taking that stupid decision. But you never came. Just be honest with me Ansh, Neha came back yesterday and you decided to confess your feelings just the following day. Did you really feel these things or did she provide the necessary push?” “She did Piya but how does that matter?” “It matters to me!” Piya wiped off her tears. “One push from your sister was enough for you to realize your love. But my love, my assurance could never do that! And I can’t help but feel ashamed of myself!” Piya was about to leave when Ansh held her wrist.

“I know you have every right to be mad at me. But can you ever be happy without me?” Ansh asked her in a last ditch effort. Piya brushed his hands off and laughed hysterically. “Now you are concerned about me Ansh? Now? When Neha has pointed it out? Where were you when I was crying over my broken heart? Where was this concern when you separated me from my son and threw me out of your life? Did you think for once how would I live without you when you went to sacrifice yourself? I used to think loneliness is the biggest punishment but you know what hurts even more? The ignorance of the person you love most. Lucky for you, Neha came back. What if she hadn’t? Would you still come to celebrate my birthday and tell me why you had kept mum when I walked away? What if tomorrow something happens again and we drift apart? Can I really rely on you? It’s okay if I am alone. At least I know I have nothing to look forward to. But I can’t be with someone who loves me enough to let me go but not enough to fight for me; unless someone else points it out.” Piya started leaving the room.

“Is this your final decision?” “Yes!” “Okay then, but let me tell you something Piya; this time I won’t make it so easy for you to walk away.” “And what exactly are you going to do?” Piya turned around and looked at Ansh. “Spend every waking moment of my life to reassure you that I am never gonna leave you again.” “And you really think that’s gonna change my mind?” “I don’t think, I know it will. Say whatever you want to as a proof that you have moved on. We both know you wouldn’t be here, listening to my crappy explanation if you didn’t love me.” Ansh replied confidently. “I can’t leave because the kids would suspect.” “Lamest excuse ever!” Ansh couldn’t help but grin. Piya moved forward and looked at Ansh’s eyes. “So, you really think I’ll forgive you?” “I’ll make sure you do!” “Okay fine! Apology accepted.” Piya waved her hand in a manner as if she was dismissing a trivial issue. “Wait, what?” Ansh was completely at a loss.

“Do you really think I didn’t know all these? If that’s the case, then you are really the biggest Lappujhanna out there.” Piya tried to stay strong but her tears betrayed her. “I have always known about your insecurity Ansh. I didn’t need a user manual on HOW TO DECODE A DAAVANSH’S MOOD because I fell in love with the Ghanghor Ajeeb Praani who was right in front of me. Even when you didn’t say anything, I could always understand what was in your heart. I never wanted you to ignore your family. But at the end of the day, even I am a human being. I just wanted to feel loved and cherished. I wanted a normal life with my husband and kids where no one or nothing could ever come between our happiness. But in your attempt to protect us, you became the biggest enemy of our happiness.” Ansh couldn’t say anything in reply. He was simply awestruck. Even after everything he had put Piya through, she never stopped loving him! And he couldn’t even understand the depth of her love! “I didn’t need anything Ansh. All I ever wanted was for you to accept yourself and express your feelings in front of me without any hesitation; to make me a part of your life in true sense and stop treating me as an outsider. I can face anything that life throws at us as long as you are with me. But I won’t survive another separation.” Piya burst into tears. 

Ansh came forward and hugged Piya. “I am really sorry Piya! I promise, I’ll never leave you again.” “You better not! Otherwise you’ll face the wrath of your wife.” She warned him while he smiled at her. “So, are Neha and I forgiven?” “To be honest, I am still mad at you that you needed her advice to realize everything. But we all become idiots at some point and need others’ advice. In your case it was your sister and in my case it was my mother.” “Divya maa!!!” “Yes! I had a dream last night when maa came to me and told me to follow my heart.” “And it led you back to me?” “No, to Hrithik Roshan!” Piya rolled her eyes. “Then why are you hugging me?” Ansh tried to pull Piya’s leg. “Felt pity on you. After all, I am a Daivik - can’t break anyone’s heart.” Ansh was about to say something when Piya shushed him. “Just stop your nonsense and let me enjoy this moment.” “Okay Mrs. Rathod! Your wish is my command!!!” Piya punched Ansh in fake anger while the later hugged her again. After so many days, everything got fine between them. He was thankful to Goddess for giving him his Piya back and promised to himself that he would never repeat his mistakes again. 

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