Chapter 22

2 years ago

BrhannadaArmour

@BrhannadaArmour

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Pallavi, malā poçāyalā khūpa uśīra zhālā, paṇa tū malā māpha karaśīla nā?" I was delayed a lot, but you'll forgive me, won't you? Mandar asked as he stepped into Deshmukh Saree Emporium.

Seeing Pallavi's unsmiling face, Mandar felt a pang for what he hadn't asked to be forgiven. He thought, Pallavi was faithful to me. In that video, she chose to be my widow rather than Raghav's wife. I couldn't defend her then, but she resisted Raghav until he asked for a chance in my name. And how have I behaved since I remembered that I'm married? I wanted to make love with Farhad last night, while Pallavi was waiting for me to come home. How could I be so heartless?

"Mandar Dādā, Nikhil said you would be talking to Raghav for a few minutes." Krishna's face was worried. "He didn't try to fight with you, did he?"

Mandar shook his head. "No. We just talked, but Raghav had a panic attack, so I stayed with him until he felt better and his bodyguard Madan came back. Krishna, Pallavi, when Nikhil and I got home, there were reporters waiting, and they showed us the video. Did they trouble you a lot?"

Pallavi vaguely understood what Mandar was saying, but she did not respond to the question. She was thinking, how would she explain to Mandar what the video really meant?

"The reporters asked a lot of questions, but they waited outside the shop, Mandar Dādā, because we asked them not to come in," Krishna answered. "Dīdī told them that Raghav won't hurt her anymore, and that you're back home. Then Raghav arrived, and convinced the reporters to leave."

"Mandar, tumacyāśī malā kāhī mahattvāçe bolāyaçe āhe," I have something important to say to you, Pallavi blurted out.

Mandar could tell from Pallavi's expression that she wanted to speak in private. He almost suggested a walk around the block, but realized that they couldn't talk freely outdoors today. As soon as Raghav had left, passersby had begun to approach the shop. Some of them were looking in, obviously curious about Pallavi.

"Āpaṇa ātalyā kholīta zāūna bolūyā." Let's go into the inner room to talk, Mandar suggested, and led the way. He reached for Pallavi's hand, and she took it gratefully. After the intense conversation Pallavi had just had with Raghav, both of them avoiding any physical contact, touching Mandar felt normal. It was a quiet comfort to her uncertain nerves.

As soon as the storeroom door was closed behind her, Pallavi's tears overflowed. The shock of the reporters' outcry had passed ... her fury at Raghav had already erupted twice and left her chest aching ... a petrifying anticipation of notoriety - as soon as anyone would realize her inadvertent crime - had kept her face numb in front of the curious onlookers and facing the innocent concern of Krishna and Nikhil, but no more ... it gave way now to despair. What a mess her life had become! Knowing that she had done nothing to deserve this punishment, knowing that she couldn't have averted it, her mind was nevertheless searching for some logic, some agency on her own part. The past two-and-a-half years had been a merciless battle for her, and now she felt ambushed with a mortal blow.

Mandar took Pallavi in his arms and let her cry against his chest, stroking her hair. It was the first time he had ever done that. When news of Devayani's death had reached them, they hadn't been married yet; feeling shy even to hold hands, with all of Mandar's family and guests hovering over them, they had not ventured to embrace; and Siddhesh Dādā had been there to offer hugs to his grieving sister. Pallavi felt soft in Mandar's arms; her shapely body didn't invite a tight embrace in the way that Farhad's lean torso had been his buoy last night. Mandar held Pallavi tenderly and, closing his eyes, found his lips pressing against the top of her head.

"Itake raḍāyaçe kāhī viśeṣa kāraṇa āhe, kā gelyā cāra divasāṃtalyā sagaḷyāça ghaṭanā sosāyalā zarā atī zhālyā?" Is there any particular reason to cry so much, or have the events of the past four days, altogether, become a little too much to bear? Mandar inquired.

"Mandar, mī saṃkaṭāta sāṃpaḍale āhe." I am caught in trouble, Pallavi admitted, taking deep breaths to control her tears as she tried to explain. "Kāyadyāpramāṇe, Raghav-śī dusare lagna karaṇyāādhī mī svataḥ tyālā sāṅgāyalā have hote kī māzhe ādhī tumacyāśī lagna zhāle hote, āṇi mī svataḥlā vidhavā samazata hote." According to the law, before remarrying with Raghav, I should have informed him myself that I was already married to you, and I considered myself a widow. "Ase dusaryā lagnāādhī nāhī sāṅgitale, āṇi maga puḍhe pahile lagna punhā astitvāta āle, tara dvivivāhāçā gunhā māpha hota nāhī." If one doesn't tell before remarrying, and later the first marriage is reestablished, then the crime of bigamy isn't excused. "Mājhyā iccheviruddha Raghav-ne ghāīghāīta malā lagnālā ubhe kele, āṇi tyā gaḍabaḍīta mājhyā dhyānātaça āle nāhī kī Raghav-lā mājhyā paristhitīçā pattā nāhī." Raghav got me to marry him in a hurry, against my will, and in that commotion, it never occurred to me that Raghav had no clue about my situation. "Jyāçā vicāra suddhā mī kadhī manāta āṇalā navhatā, to dvivivāhāçā gunhā nusate pahilyā lagnābaddala kāhī tāsa uśīrā sāṅgitalyāmuḷe nakaḷata mājhyākaḍūna ghaḍalā, āṇi āza tyāçā hā dṛśya purāvā akkhyā Hyderabad śaharāsamora ālā." Even the thought of bigamy hadn't ever entered my mind, but that's the crime that I inadvertently committed, just by telling about my first marriage a few hours too late, and today this video evidence of it was exposed to the entire city of Hyderabad. "Hā purāvā pāhūna, Raghav-śī lagna kelyāvaraça mī tyālā mājhī paristhiti sāṅgitalī, ase koṇatyāhī nyāyādhīśālā paṭela." After seeing this evidence, any judge will be convinced that I informed Raghav of my situation only after marrying him.

Mandar felt Pallavi trembling, and adjusted his arms around her, trying to understand what was happening and find words to comfort her. "Śānta ho; mī āhe nā tujhyā pāṭhīśī ubhā?" Become calm; don't I have your back? "Tujhyāvara dvivivāhāçā āropa karāyalā pāhataṃya tarī koṇa?" Who's looking to make an accusation of bigamy against you anyway? "Āpaṇa jevhāṃ māzhā mṛtyudākhalā radda karaṇyāsāṭhī nyāyādhīśāsamora zāū, tevhāṃ āpaṇa sāṅgū kī mī jīvanta asalyāçe tulā ṭhāūkaça navhate." When we'll go before a judge to get my death certificate invalidated, then we'll explain that you didn't even know that I was living. "Muḷāta tuzhe vaidhavya khare navhate, āṇi te tū Raghav-lā phasavāyalā thoḍeça lapavalesa!" Your widowhood wasn't even real, and it's not as if you hid it to deceive Raghav!

"Nāhī, Mandar, kharaṃça kāyadyāta ase spaṣṭa lihile āhe kī malā māhīta asalelī paristhiti mī Raghav-lā lagnāādhī sāṅgāyalā havī hotī, āṇi tī na sāṅgaṇyāpāyī malā dvivivāhāçā gunhā lāgato, jyācī śikṣā mhaṇaje dravyadaṇḍa kiṃvā kamāla dahā varṣāṃçā turuṅgavāsa!" No, Mandar, really it's written in the law clearly that whatever I thought the situation was, I should have told Raghav before marriage, and by not telling it, the crime of bigamy applies to me, for which the sentence is a fine or a maximum ten years in prison! "Subhadra yāṃnī malā he ase sāṅgitale!" Subhadra explained it to me like this! As she spoke, Pallavi realized that the front of Mandar's shirt was stained with her tears, and she pulled away.

Mandar pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket, and handed it to Pallavi. She moved to wipe his shirt with it, but he caught her hand, shook his head, took back the cloth, and wiped the tears from her face with it. He found a water bottle and offered it to her.

"Asela, kāyadā tulā doṣa deta asela, paṇa tū kuṇāvara anyāya hoīla aśī vāgalī nāhīsa." It may be, the law may blame you, but you didn't behave unfairly with anyone. "Māzhā tujhyāvara viśvāsa āhe." I believe in you. "Kāhī nā kāhī upāya śodhūna āpaṇa tujhī hyā praśnātūna nirdoṣa suṭakā karū." We'll find a way, any way for you to escape this problem blamelessly. "Subhadra yāṃnī yāvara kāhī upāya suçavalā kā?" Did Subhadra suggest any way out of this?

"Tyā mhaṇālyā kī zara Raghav-barobaraçe lagna radda karaṇyāçā arza mīça nyāyālayāta kelā, tumhī jīvanta sāṃpaḍalyāçe kāraṇa sāṅgūna, tara nyāyādhīśālā dvivivāhācyā āropāçā tapāsa karāvā ase bahudhā vāṭaṇāra nāhī." She said that if I myself petition the court to invalidate my remarriage to Raghav, citing the grounds that we found you living, then the judge will probably not think that prosecution for a charge of bigamy is necessary. "Paṇa Mandar, malā śikṣā zhālī nāhī tarīhī kuṇītarī kāyadā zāṇaṇārā māṇūsa Raghav-çe āṇi māzhe he bolaṇe aikalyāvara bolela, āṇi punhā ekadā mājhī badanāmī hoīla, hyā vicārāne āza māzhā dhīraça suṭalāya." But Mandar, even if I'm not punished, some person who knows the law will hear this conversation between Raghav and me, and speak up, and once again I'll be disparaged - with this thought, today I've just run out of courage.

Pallavi was looking piteously at Mandar as she spoke. "Āpaṇa saṃsāra surū karaṇyāādhīça tumaçā apaghāta zhālā hotā, āṇi ātā sudaivāne punhā ālelī saṃdhī mī pakaḍāyalā zāteya tevaḍhyāta hī vārtāhārāñcī zhuṇḍa yete āṇi malā praśnāta pāḍate kī mājhyā nāṃvālā phasavaṇukīçā ḍāga lāgela kāya, kī mī saraḷa turuṅgātaça zāīna kāya?" Before we could even begin married life, your accident happened, and now, just as I'm trying to catch the opportunity that good luck brought again, this mob of reporters arrives and makes me question, will blame for deceit stain my name, or will I go straight to prison?

"Mī nasatānā tujhyāvara nasate āropa karaṇyāçe kāma ekaṭyā Raghav-ne nāhī, tara Sulochana Kākūne suddhā kele hote, ase āza sakāḷī mājhyā aikaṇyāta āle." When I wasn't here, not only Raghav was in the business of making outrageous accusations against you, but Sulochana Kākū did it too, so I heard this morning, Mandar said, holding both of Pallavi's hands. "Paṇa ātā mī tujhyā bāzūne ubhā āhe, taseça Āī-Bābā āṇi Kākā, Manasi, Nikhil, Amruta, sagaḷeça eka hoūna ṭhāmapaṇe ubhe asatīla." But now I'm on your side, and just the same, Āī-Bābā and Kākā, Manasi, Nikhil, Amruta, everyone will firmly stand united. "Tū ekaṭī nāhīsa ātā." You're not on your own anymore.

"Āza te dṛśya pāhūna malā to divasa āṭhavalā jevhāṃ Raghav-ne māzhā parābhava kelā hotā." Seeing that video today, I remembered that day when Raghav had defeated me. Pallavi felt safe with Mandar, holding his hands and talking freely. This man was her husband; whatever weakness and despair she had kept to herself until today, she could rightfully share with him. "Jevhāṃ mī tyācyāśī lagna kele, tevhāṃ tyālā tumacyābaddala sāṅgaṇe he māzhe kartavya āhe asā vicārahī mājhyā manāta ālā navhatā." When I married him, the idea that I had a responsibility to tell him about you just didn't enter my mind. "Tevhāṃ Bābā rugṇālayāta paḍale hote āṇi Nikhil -" Bābā was lying in the hospital then, and Nikhil -

Pallavi paused, thinking that Mandar didn't yet know every calamity that had befallen the family, but Mandar finished what she had almost said. "Nikhil-lā Raghav-ne aḍakavūna turuṅgāta ṭākale hote." Raghav had entrapped Nikhil and thrown him in jail. "Kāla Farhad-ne malā tī goṣṭa sāṅgitalī." Yesterday Farhad told me that story. "Nikhil-lā soḍavāyalāça tū Raghav-śī lagna mānya kelesa, āṇi tevhāṃ tujhī kāya avasthā zhālī asela te mī samazū śakato." You agreed to marry Raghav only to rescue Nikhil, and I can imagine what must have been your condition at the time.

Reassured, Pallavi released her pent-up frustration, sharing her bleakest thoughts with Mandar. "Raghav-ne malā vākavale āhe, āṇi ātā malā namavūna, mājhyā śarīrāvara hakka gāzavūna, to mājhī kāya avasthā karīla, hyā bhītine mājhyā manāta kāhī dusaryā vicārāṃsāṭhī jāgāça ṭhevalī navhatī." Raghav had bent me, and now, humbling me, asserting a claim to my body, to what condition will he bring me? This fear had left no room in my mind for any other thoughts. "Raghav-cyā aparādhāṃsāṭhī zara tyālā mī dhaḍā nāhī śikavalā tara mājhyā zagaṇyālā kasalāça artha rāhaṇāra nāhī, ase malā tyā divaśī vāṭale." If I don't teach Raghav a lesson for his offences, then no purpose will remain for me to go on living - this was how I felt that day. "Paṇa āza tyācyā aparādhāpāyī mīça kāyadyācyā phāsāta aḍakale āhe." But today, on account of his offence, I'm the one caught in a noose of the law.

Mandar was still holding Pallavi's hands and listening attentively, but Pallavi noticed that the look of sympathy on his face had changed into a troubled expression. "Kasalyā vicārāta paḍalāya?" What is troubling you? she asked.

"Pallavi, mī tulā svīkārale āhe, tyāta Raghav-barobara rāhūna tū kāya je anubhavalesa tyāçā pharaka paḍaṇāra nāhī." Pallavi, I've accepted you as mine, and whatever you experienced by living with Raghav won't change that. "Māzhā tujhyāvara viśvāsa āheça." I do trust you. "Paṇa gelyā aḍīça varṣāṃta mī aśā baryāça striyāṃnā pāhile āhe jyāñcyāvara tyāñcyā navaryāne kiṃvā mitrāne kelelā atyācāra ughaḍapaṇe disatoya, paṇa tyābaddala tyāṃnā bolāyalā zamata nāhī." But in the past two-and-a-half years, I've seen plenty of women whose abuse by a husband or a boyfriend is obvious to see, but they are unable to talk about it. "Tyāṃnā svataḥcyā apamānācī lāza vāṭate he sāhajikaça āhe, paṇa tyāmuḷe zara svataḥcyā mānasika va śārīrika ārogyākaḍe durlakṣa hota asela tara malā te paṭata nāhī." They feel ashamed of their own mistreatment, which is natural, but if their mental and physical health gets neglected for that reason, I don't like it. "Mhaṇūna mī tulā vacana deto kī zara kāhī adhika malā sāṅgūna tujhyā ārogyāvara pariṇāma barā hota asela, tara tuzhā mitra mhaṇūnaça mī tyāçā vicāra karīna." So, I promise you that if telling me anything more will be good for your health, I will think of it only as your friend.

Pallavi understood that the fear of which she had just spoken, that forcible marriage meant Raghav forcing himself on her, made sense to Mandar. And what she had told Mandar yesterday, that she never gave Raghav the privilege, was what any woman in her position might think Mandar wanted to hear. "Tumhālā vāṭataṃya kī zara Raghav māzhā chaḷa karata asatā, tara mī kāhī na bolatā to sahana karata zāīna?" You think that if Raghav was tormenting me, I would say nothing and go on enduring it? "Tumacī çūka nāhī." You're not wrong. "Krishna-ne sāṅgitalyāpramāṇe Raghav-ne māzhā aphāṭa chaḷa kelā hotā, āṇi mī Āī-Bābāṃnā, Kākāṃnā kāhīça kaḷū dile nāhī." As Krishna told you, Raghav did torment me awfully, and I didn't let Āī-Bābā or Kākā know any of it. "Paṇa tumacyāpāsūna mī kāhī lapavaṇāra nāhī." But I won't hide anything from you.

Pallavi was willing to answer, so Mandar asked her, "Raghav-ne tujhyā iccheviruddha tulā lagna karāyalā lāvale, āṇi tyāādhī ekadā tū beśuddha asatānā gharī kuṇālāhī na sāṅgatā tyāne tulā rātrabhara tyācyā gharāta ṭhevale hote." Raghav made you marry him against your will, and before that, one time when you were unconscious, he didn't tell anyone at home and he kept you in his house all night long. "Tarīhī to Rākṣasa sabhyapaṇāne tujhyāpāsūna antara ṭhevata hotā kā?" Even then, was that Rākṣasa decent enough to keep his distance from you?

"Raghav-cyā vāgaṇyāta sabhyatā kamīça āhe." Raghav's behaviour has insufficient decency, Pallavi admitted, and as she explained his faults, the sting of being incriminated by his offence didn't ache so much. "Mājhyāpāsūna tyāne antara ṭhevale ase suddhā mhaṇatā yeṇāra nāhī." I can't even say that he kept his distance from me. "Kāraṇa nasatānā to kapaḍe kāḍhūna vāvarāyaçā, āṇi mājhyāvara pariṇāma zhālyācyā apekṣene hasāyaçā." Without any reason, he would take off his clothes and walk around, and expecting that he had an effect on me, he would laugh. "Paraṃtu navarepaṇāçā hakka tyāne kadhīça māgitalā nāhī." However, he never demanded a husband's privilege. "Jevhāṃ ekā kholīta ekatra rahāyaçe āmaçe ṭharale tevhāṃ tyāne malā surakṣitateçe vacana dile, āṇi te vacana tyāne pāḷale." When we agreed to stay together in one room, he gave me a promise of safety, and he kept that promise. "Tyācyā lagnāādhīcyā maitriṇīṃśī to vegaḷā vāgata asela, paṇa mājhī maryādā āhe he tyālā samazata hote." With his girlfriends before marriage, he might behave differently, but I have a limit and he understood that. "Mī beśuddha asatānā tyāne malā kāhīça kele nasela." When I was unconscious, he wouldn't have done anything to me.

Mandar thought back to how Raghav had spoken of waiting for Pallavi to want his love. Hearing that Pallavi wasn't comfortable with Raghav's teasing was a relief; it meant that she wouldn't expect Mandar to behave forwardly with her either. Mandar wanted to believe that Raghav hadn't risked Pallavi's health, but ... "Farhad mhaṇālā kī tyā rātrī Raghav khūpa dārū pyālā hotā." Farhad said that Raghav was very drunk that night.

"Malā tyā rātrī Raghav disalā nāhī, paṇa mī tyālā pyālelyā avastheta anekadā baghitale āhe." I didn't see Raghav that night, but I've seen him drunk many times, Pallavi replied. "To besāvadhapaṇe gāḍī çālavato, samoracyā kuṇāhī māṇasāçā apamāna karato, khekasato, toḍaphoḍa karato ... paṇa dārūne tyācī vāsanā kadhī zāgī hota nāhī." He drives a car carelessly, insults whichever person is in front of him, growls, breaks and smashes things ... but his lust isn't aroused by alcohol ever. "Ekadā mī kāmāsāṭhī gharātūna rātrī nighāle hote, āṇi mājhī scooter banda paḍalī, mhaṇūna mī rastyāvara bheṭalelyā dona puruṣāñcyā gāḍīta basale." Once I left home at night for some work, and my scooter ran out, so I got in a car with two men that I met on the road. "Tyāṃnī māzhe apaharaṇa karaṇyāçā prayatna kelā, tevaḍhyāta samora Raghav ālā, āṇi tyāne tyā doghāṃnā baḍavūna malā svataḥcyā gāḍītūna surakṣitapaṇe girhāīkākaḍe āṇi gharī poçavale." They tried to abduct me, but Raghav got in front of us, beat up both of them, and took me in his car safely to the customer and then home. "Rastyāvara ādhī malā Raghav bheṭalā hotā, tevhāṃ to dārū pīta hotā, āṇi mī tyācyā gāḍīta basāyalā nākārale hote." Earlier, I had met Raghav on the road, when he was drinking alcohol, and I had refused to get in his car. "Tyā avastheta suddhā tyālā tyā dona puruṣāṃçā saṃśaya ālā hotā, āṇi tyāne malā vāçavaṇyāsāṭhī tyāṃçā pāṭhalāga kelā." Even in that state, he had felt suspicious of those two men, and he followed them to rescue me. "Āzahī Raghav vārtāhārāṃpāsūna mājhī suṭakā karāyalā āṇi malā dhīra dyāyalā ithe ālā." Even today Raghav came here to make the reporters leave me alone and to reassure me. "Tyālā svataḥcī çūka kaḷāyalā veḷa lāgato, paṇa ekadā tī kaḷalī kī to prāyaścittāpāsūna māge phirata nāhī." It takes him time to recognize his own mistake, but once he recognizes it, he doesn't turn back from penance.

"Mhaṇaje bākī kuṇīhī hyā dṛśyātalyā bātamīcī carcā kelī tarīhī Raghav svataḥlā vāçavāyalā tujhyākaḍe boṭa dākhavaṇāra nāhī." Meaning, no matter who else discusses the news from this video, Raghav won't point a finger at you to excuse himself, Mandar guessed. Pallavi nodded in agreement.

"Hyā bātamīcī āza carcā karaṇāre udyāparyanta visarūna zātīla." Those who discuss this news today will forget it by tomorrow, Mandar said with a smile. "Tū suddhā māgacyā avaghaḍa kāḷāçā vicāra soḍa, āṇi āpalyā sukhī bhaviṣyāçāça vicāra kara." You also stop thinking about that difficult time in the past, and think only about our happy future. "Lavakaraça tulā Raghav-pāsūna suṭakā miḷela, āṇi punhā tū āpalyā gharāta navarī mhaṇūna gṛhapraveśa karaśīla." Very soon, you'll be free of Raghav, and you'll enter our house again as a bride. "Toṃvara āpaṇa kuṭhe kuṭhe phirāyaçe?" Until then, where would you like to go on dates?

Pallavi laughed softly. "Citrapaṭa, maiphalī, nṛtyāçe kāryakrama, bāgāṃmadhe bhaṭakaṇe, trekking ... he sagaḷe udyāpāsūna surū karūyā." Movies, concerts, dance programs, exploring gardens, trekking ... let's start all of that from tomorrow. "Itakyāta dupāracyā jevaṇācī veḷa zhālī āhe, tara āpaṇa Āīne pāṭhavalelā ḍabā jevūna gheūyā." It's lunchtime by now, so let's eat the tiffin that Āī sent. Squeezing Mandar's hands gratefully, she let go and opened the storeroom door.

As Mandar stepped out, following Pallavi, Nikhil's and Krishna's eyes were on him. Nikhil looked confused, and a smile grew on Krishna's face until she let out a giggle. Pallavi looked at her curiously.

"Dīdī, it's good to see you smiling," Krishna said, and going up to Mandar, she whispered so that Pallavi could hear her, "Mandar Dādā, you have sindūra on your lips."

What? Mandar thought. He stood in front of a mirror and saw that it was true. When he had held Pallavi to his chest, his lips had touched the parting of her hair. Krishna and Nikhil must think that I was kissing Pallavi, he realized. He quickly wiped off the tell-tale powder, and looked at Pallavi.

Pallavi laughed spontaneously at Mandar. He looked caught, but he wasn't blushing. He smiled back shyly. He didn't mean to kiss me, of course, Pallavi thought. Does he want to? I should have hugged him back instead of just crying on his chest. Mandar is open-minded, so he won't mind if I take the initiative. How soon is it decent to kiss my husband when we're not living together yet? I should ask Devayani for advice. I'm sure she did more than talk to Rashmi when I left them alone.

Collecting herself, Pallavi noticed that Nikhil had brought out the lunch tiffin, and Mandar was already serving everyone. She could get used to a man looking after her like this. She sat down next to Mandar, and the four of them began to eat.

"Nikhil, you told me something yesterday that Pallavi deserves to know," Mandar prompted. Nikhil looked uncomfortable, but he obliged.

"Dī, the reason I chose to work for Harish was that I owed money. I was gambling online, and when I couldn't pay up, my creditors sent fake police to kidnap you and collect my debt through a ransom. Raghav had nothing to do with it. I'm sorry I never spoke up before."

It wasn't Raghav! Pallavi had felt sure it was. Only a few days before that kidnapping, Raghav had surprised her right in the Deshmukh house, overpowering her and muffling her screams, tying her up, and carrying her out to his car, to threaten her life in the middle of the road. Pallavi shuddered at the memory, as she always did. Raghav had always denied the second kidnapping, but not because he had given up the tactic. He had forced Pallavi into his car again when he had decided to marry her, and even after she had given Raghav a chance to redeem himself, he had felt entitled to gag her and carry her over his shoulder. Pallavi hated to feel this way about Raghav, having to weigh facts against her distrust of him. Already today Raghav had pleaded with her to believe that he wasn't responsible for the video, and now, for the second time today, she was revisiting the morning she had woken up in Raghav's guest room, found him performing MahāŚivarātri pūjā like an honourable man, and upbraided him in front of his guests for his outrageous attacks against her and her property.

"Dī, won't you say something?" Nikhil pleaded.

"Have you told Āī-Bābā?" Pallavi asked, and Nikhil shook his head. "Do tell them, Nikhil. Help us to protect you from gambling and any other addiction that could ruin your life." Pallavi looked at Mandar to agree with her.

"Pallavi is right, tell them," Mandar said. Then the thought came to him, last night with Farhad, I could have ruined Pallavi's life along with my own. I can't tell Āī-Bābā that I think about men compulsively, and conversion therapy isn't working. I'm a hypocrite, telling Nikhil to be honest. Not telling him to be honest isn't an option either.

"Yes, Dādā." Nikhil knew that Āī-Bābā wouldn't scold him too much if Mandar Dādā and Pallavi Dī were on his side. He returned his focus to his lunch.

Mandar changed the subject. "Pallavi, last night you said that you would tell me today how Devayani is really alive. What happened?"

"Devayani and my other friend Rashmi, Akash's sister, love each other," Pallavi explained. "Devayani was attacked by a man who wanted Rashmi to be his girlfriend. To get away from him, Devayani shifted to Bhopal with Rashmi. Devayani's father, who told me that she died, thought it was the truth because Devayani's mother was hiding her from him. They couldn't tell Devayani's father that she was with Rashmi because he didn't approve of love between women. He would have forced Devayani to come back and seek treatment from a conversion therapist - a psychiatric doctor, as if wanting to be loved is a mental illness."

Mandar's thoughts were racing as he listened. Pallavi's best friend Devayani is in a homosexual relationship, and Pallavi doesn't call it wrong. She calls it love. If she knew about my unfaithful thoughts, what would Pallavi do? Probably she would call me a traitor and a coward, tell me to find a man to love, and leave me. Nobody in our family has even had a live-in partner, never mind a homosexual lover. I can't change that! Decent people from good families get married and we stay married. I thought Pallavi believed in those values too.

"Mandar, are you all right?" Pallavi asked. "I know, I didn't tell you about Devayani and Rashmi in any of our talks before we got married. You see, Devayani's father only allowed her to go out with me because I was engaged. I used to leave her alone with Rashmi. I didn't want my prospective in-laws to find out that secret, and to think I was a bad girl who lied to my friends' parents. And I couldn't take the risk that Devayani's father would find out and keep her away from Rashmi."

"I understand, Pallavi," Mandar tried to keep his expression innocent. "I was just trying to remember if we ever talked about this topic. Even yesterday, neither of us brought it up. You really didn't know about Farhad until his Ammī-Abbū told you?"

"Mandar, you can say it. Farhad is gay." For a fleeting moment, Pallavi wondered, is Mandar not as open-minded as I had thought? He has to be! Mandar looked friendly talking to Farhad at the pūjā. After their trip to Vikarabad and back, they must be friends. Mandar believes in equal opportunities for women and men, so why wouldn't he accept a gay friend?

"Dīdī, really?" Krishna, who had been listening with fascination to the conversation, spoke up. Nikhil was listening too.

"Yes, but Farhad wasn't the one to tell me," Pallavi said. "I talked to him when he got home, the day before yesterday. He said that he never meant to hide anything from me, but just as I hadn't met his parents until I moved out of Raghav's house, I didn't know this about him either. I told Farhad, you're my friend, no matter what else you are. My idea of happiness is a respectable life and a loving family, and I want the same for you."

"A family?" Krishna asked. At home yesterday, Anuradha had made it clear to her daughter that Amruta's talk of alternative lifestyles was disgraceful and indecent, which as usual only made Krishna feel sympathy for the objects of Amma's scorn. Krishna secretly liked to imagine the lives of people who dared to be different. "But Farhad can't get married to another man, or have children with one. So how is he supposed to feel respectable?"

"Well, some countries allow gay couples to marry and share children," Nikhil pointed out. "And family and marriage aren't just legal terms, they're feelings. My Āī-Bābā didn't need adoption papers to call Pallavi Dī their daughter. And before Pallavi Dī even met Mandar Dādā in person, my Ājī and Māmā-Māmī introduced her to their friends as Dādā's vāgdatta vadhū, his promised bride. Farhad can always have a vāgdatta vara, a promised groom, even if they can't legally marry."

Nikhil's use of the word vāgdatta reminded Mandar of Raghav's vāgdānam yesterday after the Satya-Nārāyaṇa pūjā: no law and no annulment would keep him from fulfilling his promise to give Pallavi her rights and her happiness. Farhad probably has the same idea as his scofflaw boss, Mandar thought. When Farhad finds the man whose happiness is his to promise, no prohibition will bar him from being married. Farhad asked me last night if there was a chance for us. Can I hope for commitment from Farhad? Would I deserve it if I abandon Pallavi?

Pallavi also was reminded of what Raghav had said to her before the Satya-Nārāyaṇa pūjā: "You're the treasure that I aspire to earn in my life. Nothing that you do with Mandar will ever cheapen you for me. Idi Raghav Rao vāgdānam." It was a lovely feeling that someone could make her that promise. When she had been vāgdatta with Mandar three years ago, their promise had been for faithful companionship, meant to grow into love as they fulfilled each other's life. Pallavi had been and still was attracted to Mandar's values, his manners, his good looks, his personality. She hadn't thought about loving so deeply as what Raghav obviously felt for her. Of course, Pallavi didn't love Raghav, and she intended to seek an annulment, but it felt right to wait for another day or two, to make sure that Raghav's feelings had no effect on her decision.

"Pallavi, what you said in support of Farhad is just what I expected of you," Mandar said. "Farhad wants to support you too. He told me to say to you, if you need anything before you meet at his place tonight, you can call him anytime."

"That reminds me, Mandar," Pallavi said, "What happened last night in Vikarabad? You told me that Dr. Ramya is all right, but why did she need someone to watch her house while she worked in the emergency room?"

"Some relatives of Amma's patient blamed her for his condition, and threatened her. Stress makes people say things that they don't mean, you know. I thought, if Amma didn't have to worry about her house and the old lady next door, she could concentrate on her work. So I offered to stay."

Mandar spoke calmly, reassuringly, but he was thinking, Pallavi is against conversion therapy because Devayani feared it. If I ever tell Pallavi that Amma is a conversion therapist, there will be tension, and if Pallavi finds out that I talk to Amma privately, Pallavi will guess that Amma is helping me to become a good husband. How long can I keep my secret from Pallavi?